


Know no limits

by zation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Adoption, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Best of a bad situation, Bisexual Castiel, Boss man Castiel, Bottom Dean, CEO Castiel, Cas-sexual Dean, Castiel needs help, Coming In Pants, Daddy Dean, Dark past Dean, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Fluff, Equally stubborn Castiel, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Homeless Dean, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, In his own way lol, In more ways than one, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean, M/M, Mama Bear Dean, Masturbation, Mild Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Office Sex, Older Castiel, POV Castiel, Papa Castiel, Perplexed Castiel, Pining, Pining Castiel, Playing video games, Prompt Fic, Saccharine happy ending, Sam is older, Sassy Dean, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Straight Dean, Stubborn Dean, Supportive Balthazar, Supportive Sam, Top Castiel, Totally NSFW drawing in chapter 6, Tragic past Castiel, Younger Dean, mentions of switching, office parties, or so he thought, sam and dean are not brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-11-23 20:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11409468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Original prompt:Castiel is a member of an underworld organization or just a man of power, older, like around 30. Dean is like a stray cat, his father threw him out at a young age (17 or around that). Cas sees Dean in an alley and falls in love with him, takes him home, takes care of him but Dean doesn't trust anyone since he was hurt so many times.Or,The one where one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Freal Luv](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkoaJkVHA9I) :)
> 
> My God, here we have yet another patient prompter… I swear you guys are too good to me!
> 
> Now, when I first read this prompt I thought it was very good because I immediately realized it could go in a couple of directions ranging from either very dark to kind of light and I was tempted to write a few different versions of this. I obviously had to choose one and I’m happy with how it’s turning out but damn, it might be that I revisit this prompt at a later time just try my hand at one of the other versions XD
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Thank you BeeCas for beta’ing, thank you all for deciding to come along on this journey, and thank you kind prompter for prompting!

  
  


It was raining and Castiel was late for a meeting when he dropped his wallet in a puddle so deep he couldn’t even see the goddamn thing when he turned around. Because of course it was and of course he did. Because goddamn you Zachariah for scheduling a meeting at seven thirty in the morning. Castiel was the CEO of the Chicago Sandover branch office, he should get a say in when meetings took place but apparently not.

He stopped in his track and bowed his head to stare disdainfully at the ground. Why had he even put his wallet and phone in the same pocket on his trench coat? _Of course_ he would pull up both by mistake and drop one or the other. He carried a briefcase for God’s sake. He sighed so deeply his whole body juddered with the motion.

He seriously didn’t want to stick his hand in that filth and was there really anything in that wallet that he needed? His cards could be replaced, there were some bills in there but they were probably shot to hell by now. He supposed he could just leave it and replace his cards when he got to the office.

Mind made up he took one step before he remembered the picture of him, Anna, and Gabriel that he carried around in his wallet. It was probably stupid of him to carry something so important to him (probably the only important thing he owned) in something so easily lost as a wallet but there you go. He couldn’t lose that picture, even if it was water damaged now.

With a new sigh he turned back around and the first thing that met him were the greenest eyes he had ever seen. It was clearly an alley cat, staring at him in fight or flight. Or, no, that was ridiculous. As Castiel took half a step forward teeth got bared and yes, this was definitely a stray dog and it was prepared to defend its price. But why would a dog need a wallet?

Castiel was of course being silly (it was probably the annoyance of the whole wallet-debacle) because this was a human boy. Or maybe man? He was in that in-between age, that was clear.

And he was beautiful.

"Um…" the boy cleared his throat awkwardly and it was only then that Castiel realized that he was holding the stray wallet. "Did you, uh, want this back or…?"

Ah, the boy must have seen him drop it and…

Castiel took a long look and noticed several things. First of all was that the boy was on his hands and knees beside the puddle instead of just hunched over like someone who had bent down. Second was his overall appearance which told Castiel that he clearly had been outside for a long time. He wore torn and filthy clothes, and had a kind of gaunt appearance in general. One glance to the side revealed a seriously drenched cardboard square leaned against a dumpster in the alley beside them.

"Actually no." He stated and watched with more fascination than was normal (or appropriate) as the boy blinked owlishly at him. "I would just like the picture of my siblings in it, if you don’t mind."

"Dude, ‘m not robbing you. The fuck?" The boy groused and stood up to hold out Castiel’s wallet to him.

Castiel frowned. "Well then." Their fingers brushed when he accepted his wallet back and even though Castiel’s fingers were wet and cold from the rain, the boy’s were like icicles.

He stood a bit shorter than Castiel and his hair was matted down by the rain. His cheeks were covered by a thin beard and his eyelashes were clumped together from the water. He had a strong jawline and broad shoulders, though, and Castiel could instantly see that this boy might very well out-grow him some day. Should he live that long.

Without thinking he pulled out a fifty dollar bill (wrinkling his nose at how wet it was) and held it out to the boy.

"I don’t need charity."

Castiel blinked at the biting tone. "Did I say that you do? Consider this payment for picking up my wallet for me, I wouldn’t have stuck my hand in there."

The boy looked at him with round eyes. "You knew you’d dropped it? And you would’ve just left it?" he glanced down at the fifty. "With this much money in it?"

Castiel frowned down at the money. Much? Well, considering that the boy most likely lived on the streets, then yes he supposed.

"I have more." He cringed inwardly at how that sounded. Castiel was rich and influential and he demanded a certain respect but he wasn’t haughty. "The picture, however, is priceless so thank you." He waved the bill and the boy finally accepted it.

"Okay, if you’re sure." He mumbled and looked a bit at a loss as to where to put the money since all his clothes were wet. "I’ll keep it."

"I should hope not." Castiel pocketed his wallet again because apparently he was incapable of learning his lesson (not really true).

"What?"

"You should spend it on food, not keep it. I can’t imagine what a soggy fifty dollar bill would be good for if not to buy food before the rain destroys it."

"I…" the boy suddenly grinned and good Lord, Castiel’s knees kind of felt weak. "Sure, I’ll do that."

"Good." Castiel stated crisply and turned around to continue his trek to the Sandover office.

His heart was hammering a hundred miles an hour and he couldn’t _believe_ he was a man in his thirties getting flustered over what was probably a teenager. What the hell was wrong with him? He should definitely start taking his friend Balthazar’s advice and take a cab to the office instead of walking. Castiel’s city apartment was only a few blocks from the office and he enjoyed his morning walks to clear his head but he was starting to think it would be a bad idea to keep them up.

  


*

  


It took about three hours for Castiel’s concentration to completely slip from the droning of his subordinates and to the stray cat he had met that morning. And, unfortunately, as soon as he let his concentration go his imagination joined in on it and twenty minutes later he could think of nothing else but the boy’s extremely green eyes.

It was unusual and disconcerting for him to lose his mind like this but what else could he do when his mind kept feeding him images of the boy’s face? And, now that he thought more about it, the boy’s body as well. Sure, he had seemed slim (malnourished, perhaps) but he had held himself well. Especially considering his age—

Castiel sat up straighter in his chair when he realized he was basically daydreaming (in the middle of a procurement meeting!) about a person he had only met for a few minutes and whose age he didn’t even know. He had been referring to the boy as, well, _the boy_ because he looked young. But what if he actually _was_ young? And why did Castiel even care? It wasn’t like he would be going back there, he had many routes he walked to the office in the mornings, he could just take another one. And he _would_.

"Mr. Novak? Did you have something to add?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Zachariah. "Actually, Zachariah, I have a few questions."

Using his employees’ first names elevated him over them in a way that was very clear with smarmy asses like Zachariah Adler. Mostly Castiel was on a first-name basis with his subordinates because he got along with them but with some it was a power play and Castiel never lost.

"Oh?" Zachariah smiled a little too invitingly. "By all means."

As if he had a say in the matter. Castiel stood up and buttoned his jacket.

"From what I’ve understood from your _thorough_ report we’re having trouble with the take-over of _Brown & Brown_ but you have yet to grace us with the reason for it. Do tell."

Zachariah floundered for a moment, making him look like an overgrown toad. In the back of the massive meeting room Castiel could see more than one person sniggering behind their hands and he glared at them until they stopped. As much as he disliked Zachariah this was actually an important matter. They had been working on the purchase of _Brown & Brown_ for months now and the heads over at the Ohio HQ were expecting results. Castiel was known for getting them and he would be damned before he broke his impeccable track record because of Zachariah’s incompetence.

"It’s just that, I suppose negotiations failed, I mean sometimes people change their minds…"

Castiel gave Zachariah what was known as his patented smite-squint (Castiel wasn’t supposed to know that name, he knew, but he had actually smiled to himself when he had heard his employees mention it) and it shut the older man up.

"Let me make myself very clear, Zachariah. You will personally go down to _Brown & Brown_ today and you _will_ sort this out."

"M-me?" Zachariah looked absolutely outraged. Yes, he was just the kind of pompous ass that thought his running days were over but no dice. No cozy office jobs for slackers under Castiel’s administration.

"Yes, you. Bring with you whoever you feel you need and _close the deal_." Castiel brushed out the wrinkles on his front and stepped away from the table, thoroughly fed up with unnecessarily long and pointless meetings. "Do _not_ make me call Crowley on this one."

He left the conference room with that and headed straight for his own office, intent on about a bucket of coffee and a handful of painkillers to stop his budding headache. Crowley wasn’t an employee of Sandover but they had used his shady business more than once to help with difficult clients. He hated having to bring in Crowley on this one, though, because the man was as unsavory as his methods and Castiel wanted the take-over of _Brown & Brown_ to be a peaceful one. And so far negotiations had been going along fine, or so Castiel had thought.

His personal assistant (secretary) was at her desk when he stomped past and she knew enough to give him a few moments before she entered his office. He was just sitting down and loosening his tie when she came in with a tray of coffee, Aspirin, and his favorite sandwich from the cafeteria down on floor six.

"God, Hannah, you’re a life-saver." He groaned and threw back the Aspirin, using the coffee to rinse it down just like everyone always advised against.

Hannah blushed like she sometimes did when he praised her (probably because he didn’t do it very often and not to many people).

"I just thought you would be needing something after a meeting with Mr. Adler."

"That man is insufferable." Castiel muttered and leaned back in his chair. "He could have brought this to my attention without a big meeting like this. He wasted everyone’s time."

"I suppose everyone wants to feel important sometimes, sir." She smiled and retrieved the tray from his desk. "By the way, have you seen what your sister sent you?"

She gestured to the side and he only then noticed the big bouquet of flowers that someone (probably Hannah) had put in a vase in the west-facing window. It was a simple but lovely gathering of red tulips, the same color as Anna’s hair, and he remembered that he hadn’t called her in a while.

"There was a card with it too, wishing you a happy birthday." Hannah smiled and pointed to a card that was leaned against the vase. "I didn’t know it was your birthday, sir."

He frowned slightly. "It was last weekend." He mumbled and sipped his coffee. "I don’t celebrate it."

"Well," Hannah blushed again, for no apparent reason. "Happy birthday anyway, sir."

She left with that and Castiel didn’t even watch her go. His eyes were glued to the flowers but he wasn’t thinking about his sister or his family back in Pontiac. No, what he was focusing on were the green leafs because of course they reminded him of that boy.

Yes, there had been fight or flight in the boy’s green eyes when Castiel first looked into them but the boy hadn’t appeared scared or aggressive. Either he was good at hiding it or he didn’t experience the emotions like other people. Somehow Castiel found himself wanting to know which it was. Actually, he wanted to know a lot about the boy and not just his age or what he had spent the fifty dollars on (Castiel hoped not drugs).

  


**

  


Castiel took a cab home but there was nothing out of the ordinary with that. He was a morning person so he enjoyed walking to the office in the mornings but in the evenings, after a long day of tiring work, he usually afforded himself the luxury of a cab.

Sometimes he had to stay even later and entertain customers or business partners. That usually ended with them going out and Castiel (Sandover) treating them to dinner. Sometimes (when Balthazar had nagged enough) Castiel joined his friend for After Work. In either case he often had to take a cab because their outings took him too far away from his city apartment.

But most nights he just stayed a little longer than intended and then took a cab the few blocks home. Spent his evening alone with a whisky, wishing he was in his villa by the lake, and maybe reading. Went to bed way too late for someone who had to get up at six in the morning and then walked to work to shake the last tendrils of sleep from his otherwise sharp mind.

So yes, that he ended up taking a cab home was nothing weird. What ended up weirding him out, though, was that he hadn’t been able to relax at home. His apartment felt too big, empty. He turned a corner expecting to see someone there and found himself disappointed when he didn’t. Which was foolish because Castiel prided himself in being a loner.

He spent the evening and most of the night pointedly not thinking about that boy he had met (and making no connections between the meeting and his sudden loneliness, don’t be ridiculous). Instead he focused on feeling bad about not calling Anna and vowing to call her the next evening.

The morning after he found himself walking out of his apartment much earlier than usual (which was saying something since he was usually early) and he had a weird giddiness to his step. The more he walked, though, the less giddy he felt. Because what was wrong with him? What was he even doing?

All day yesterday he had been distracted and that was not him. He was always very precise and now he was starting to feel moody because of his change yesterday. It couldn’t have anything to do with his meeting with the boy, right? That meeting had been far too brief and had entailed nothing for him to even linger on. It was ridiculous was what it was.

By the time he came to the alley where he had met the boy he couldn’t help but stop and glance around. He got even madder at himself for it but as soon as his eyes landed on the little shelter built against the dumpster his eyes softened. At least the wet cardboard from yesterday looked to have been replaced by actual boxes.

So he had been right in assuming that the boy was homeless, he hadn’t really known but he hadn’t been able to not think along those lines yesterday evening. Then again, maybe this wasn’t the boy’s? It could be anyone’s, really.

Although… Castiel tilted his head to the side in thought. Chicago was a big city so it wasn’t that weird that he had never met the boy before. What was odd was that he had met him for the first time here yesterday and only now did he notice the shelter. Castiel walked by here often (out of all his different routes this was his favorite) and he had never seen anything in the alley before.

"Am I this self-absorbed?" he mumbled and was saddened when he realized that yes, he probably was.

Maybe the boy was new to the neighborhood or maybe he had been living here for years and Castiel had never even spared a glance in this direction to notice it. Maybe it was for the best, maybe he shouldn’t get involved. And yet, as he looked at the clumsily attached piece of cloth that most probably served as a door, he couldn’t help but want to be involved.

He shook his head at himself and started walking to the office. Maybe he should or maybe he shouldn’t, either way he didn’t have time right now because his work was very important. At least that was what he told himself and he managed to convince himself of this all day, all the way until he had ended his conversation with Anna late in the evening when he realized he was being a fool.

He hadn’t told Anna about the strange encounter, of course, but he had wanted to and that if nothing else told him that it was important to him. He had kept his mouth shut about it, though, and had listened to her talk about their parents and her flower shop. Neither of them mentioned Gabriel but that was nothing unusual this time of year. None of them would forget about what had happened to him but that didn’t make it easy to talk about.

  


The next morning Castiel woke up with a single-minded determination and he practically stomped out of his apartment, making the concierge raise his eyebrows but it wasn’t like Castiel cared about that.

He was walking up to the alley in no time at all and this time (to a strange kind of relief) he saw the boy moving outside the boxes. So he had been right and the boy did live here. He didn’t know why but it made him both sad and happy.

The boy looked up as soon as Castiel stopped at the mouth of the alley (senses like a cat, that one) and God, Castiel had almost forgotten how bright green those eyes were. A grin spread over the boy’s plump lips and Castiel could do nothing but stare. Plump?

"Hey old man." The boy called and turned from his crouch to sit on his rump on the cloth that had served as a door and now was spread out on the ground. "Here to inspect your investment? Or if you’re looking to get your money back you’re too late."

"Back?" Castiel parroted dumbly and the boy frowned before looking down.

"Yeah, not the first time someone regretted giving me something, you know?" before Castiel could come up with an appropriate answer the boy looked up with a new grin. "But I already spent your fifty so there."

Castiel frowned, mostly in confusion (though he had been told he looked a little angry whenever he did that). "I wanted you to spend it, otherwise I wouldn’t have given it to you. I normally don’t do things arbitrarily."

The boy blinked. "Oh. Well, thank you then."

"Can I, um…" Castiel _never_ hesitated. He bought time by looking at his watch, which was largely unnecessary because he already knew he would be late. "What did you buy?"

This made the boy grin again (he seemed to do that a lot) but it looked more sincere than before.

"Wanna check if I got drugs?" he laughed when Castiel most probably looked guilty. It was a beautiful laugh, if laughs could be called that. "I didn’t, don’t worry. I got me some canned food and this." He reached back into the box behind him and pulled out a tattered leather jacket. He stood up and swung it over his shoulders. It looked a little big but the boy was probably young enough to grow into it and the style fitted him well enough. "Can you believe I got it for only nine bucks at that thrift shop down the road? It even feels like it’s genuine leather."

He was grinning and touching the jacket and before Castiel could even think about his actions he had stepped up to the boy and gripped the lapels. The boy stopped moving and stared up at Castiel with wide eyes.

"It is genuine." Castiel stated confidently. "Nine dollars is a bargain, this was a smart purchase."

The boy swallowed and looked up at Castiel through his lashes. It set a fire in Castiel’s gut and he stepped back almost as if burned. Thankfully the boy didn’t seem to notice. He just stroked the jacket over his arm again.

"Thank you, man."

"Castiel."

"What?"

Castiel was _so stupid_ and it was throwing him for a loop right now because he was never stupid. He was always so very on top of himself but the boy unsettled him in the best of ways, which was of course not good.

Well, no point in going back now.

"My name is Castiel."

The boy’s grin grew to twice its size, almost blinding Castiel with its shine. "Thank you, _Castiel_."

God, hearing his name in this boy’s voice felt much nicer than anything Castiel had felt in a long time. Granted, it had been quite some time since he had had sex and even longer since he had tried his hand at dating but to be _this_ affected by something so simple was embarrassing at his age. He was no blushing virgin and he was well-acquainted with his bisexuality but that didn’t mean that it was okay for him to feel sexually attracted to this boy. For one, the boy’s age was still a question mark.

But instead of being suave and actually _ask_ the boy about his age Castiel just nodded and started walking to his office in a haze. It took all the way until lunch (which Hannah had to remind him of, again) until he realized he hadn’t asked for the boy’s name back. Castiel never missed golden opportunities like that and the shame of it was what forced him to take his cab home like usual instead of walking home in the hopes of seeing the boy in his leather jacket again.

  


***

  


Two days later Castiel had somewhat confirmed that the boy seemed to not be a morning person. Aside from the first meeting and the one where the boy had showed Castiel his leather jacket the curtain had been closed on the boy’s box. It could of course be that the boy wasn’t there at all times but Castiel had a hard time figuring out how someone homeless would dare leave what little they owned unattended. He had seen many people walking around with shopping carts full of their belongings but the boy didn’t seem to have that. For some reason all of this made him want to not take a cab home in the evenings but he was still too chicken (which was incredibly new to him) to try and contact the boy so directly.

By the time lunch rolled around Castiel had managed to get himself talked into going out to eat. Sandover owned a big building that housed many things, including not one but three employee restaurants and a cafeteria. Balthazar, on the other hand, liked to go out and try the "local cuisine" as he put it. Castiel usually didn’t care enough to bother but Balthazar was the closest Castiel had to a friend so he sometimes indulged him. He only wished it wasn’t raining but they had at least been smart enough to ask Rachel at the ground floor reception for an umbrella.

"The lines here are always insane." Balthazar said with a kind of giddiness no one should have when talking about lines. "The food must be incredible."

Castiel scanned the small café with a disinterest that usually made Balthazar sigh. "I can’t believe you’ve never eaten here before. It’s only a block from the office."

Balthazar shrugged as they shuffled along in the line. "I like to sit down when I eat."

A weird comment made not so weird when Castiel glanced over at the overfilled tables. They would probably have to take the food back with them to the office and now that Castiel thought about it he hadn’t really eaten here either. He just remembered the name because he usually passed it on his way to work and because Hannah sometimes brought him food from here. No need to say that to Balthazar, though.

"We’ll bring it back."

"Naturally."

Castiel resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his colleague. Unlike Castiel, Balthazar had been born into a rich family and he sometimes acted with the kind of entitled attitude that Castiel despised. But he knew there was a softness to his friend as well, which was probably the only reason Castiel hadn’t sent Balthazar packing when he had arrived three years ago from the New York office, intent on _"steering this ship right, darling"_. There had been bumps in the beginning but once Balthazar had understood the pecking order (no one put Castiel in a corner) they had actually gotten on very well.

In any case he agreed with Balthazar on this. There was no way they would get seating in here plus Castiel didn’t like how the wonderful aromas from the food mixed with the cloying scent of wet people. Castiel usually enjoyed the fall but he didn’t enjoy rain.

Of course, thoughts about the weather drew his attention to one of the big windows that faced the street. He couldn’t see the alley the boy was in from here but he knew it was just a little further down the street and his mind zeroed in on the fact that the boy was sleeping outside in this and he probably didn’t even have anything warm to eat.

Yes he had told Castiel that he had bought canned food but that was usually mostly cold, right? Castiel didn’t know because he had never eaten canned food. He supposed there were several homeless shelters around Chicago where the boy could go to get some warm… soup? Castiel didn’t know about that either and he was starting to get mad at himself. He wasn’t entitled, he _wasn’t_ , but he had been somewhat privileged while growing up, that was true. His family hadn’t been rich but they had definitely not been poor either. Certainly not homeless shelter food poor.

"Shrimp salad, extra lemon."

Castiel snapped to attention when he heard Balthazar order. He had zoned out for so long that they were already at the counter and the cashier was looking expectantly at him as her colleague wrapped up Balthazar’s order.

One quick glance at the display cage made up Castiel’s mind. "How long to heat up the chicken pie?"

The cashier smiled at him. "Two minutes, sir."

He nodded. "Ring it up."

"Complimentary salad and sauce, sir?"

For himself he would have said no to sauce and yes to salad but now he didn’t know. "Both, please."

She nodded and he was pleased to see that her colleague had already finished with Balthazar and had started in on his order.

"I’ll wait by the door." Balthazar said just as Castiel paid for the food.

"Don’t bother, take the umbrella and go back. I just remembered I have an errand to run."

"But…" Balthazar looked confused. "You’ll get wet."

"I’ll survive."

Castiel knew he was sometimes perceived as abrasive but he also knew those close to him knew that he didn’t actually mean anything by it. That Balthazar just shrugged and walked away was testament to their friendship.

A few minutes later Castiel found himself walking down the street in the pouring rain, doing his best to shield the box he had gotten the food in. Now he just hoped the boy would be in or he would feel _really_ stupid (stupider).

Thankfully he saw that the curtain was pulled back when he entered the alley and as he approached the box the boy emerged from it, his face pulled in a clear warning. It tore at Castiel’s heart when he realized the boy probably would have had to defend his "home" more than once for him to have this kind of reaction to someone walking up to it.

"Oh." The boy smiled a little. "Castiel."

Castiel waved his hand (and ignored his fluttering stomach). "You’ll get drenched, get back inside."

The boy eyed him almost suspiciously. "Well then you get in too."

"I’m already wet."

"No need to get wetter." The boy sniffed and scrambled back inside the box. Castiel hesitated long enough outside for the boy to poke his head out and glare at him. "Come on, it’s cozy. I swear it."

With a huff (directed at himself) Castiel simply bent down and did his best to get inside the box (which he now realized were several cardboard panes cleverly stapled together) and he fell down the last bit, landing with an _oof_ beside the smiling boy.

He took a moment to wipe rain water out of his face and pushed his dripping hair back from his forehead. One look around told him that even though this was roomier than he had assumed, it was still very small. There was no way the boy could sleep fully stretched out and now, with two people in here, they were basically sitting on top of each other.

But still, it was pretty warm (humid) and because there was no wind the rain only fell straight down in heavy drops, creating almost a curtain of its own. Castiel was reminded of the few times he had visited his grandparents’ farm before they died and how sitting up on the hayloft watching the rain through the open window had felt kind of like this.

"It _is_ cozy." He mumbled after a while and the boy bumped his shoulder against Castiel’s.

"See?" he grinned and Castiel nodded to himself. He felt a bit bad about how his wet trench coat most likely soaked the boy’s blanket but since the boy didn’t bring it up he decided not to do it either.

"I’m glad you bought that leather jacket, though." He stated after a moment. Inwardly he cringed at how he sounded but the boy just seemed to listen intently (or politely). "It’ll get colder soon."

"Yeah." The boy sounded a bit wistful all of a sudden. "At least I’m in the city."

Castiel’s throat burned. "I brought you some food."

Suddenly there was a hardness to the boy’s eyes and Castiel thought it looked beautiful (even if he didn’t want it directed at him). So the boy had fighting spirit, that felt very nice to see.

"I don’t need—"

Castiel had definitely anticipated this. Fighting spirit and pride, good qualities in small doses.

"I expect payment, though." He interrupted and quirked his lips in a smile when the boy snapped his mouth shut in confusion. "I gave you my name free of charge, I want yours as payment for the content of this box." He wriggled the box in his hand and the boy’s eyes zeroed in on it. He looked hungry but also cautious and Castiel understood that. Giving out a name could imply familiarity but it could also leave someone vulnerable and Castiel had already understood that this boy didn’t like feeling vulnerable in front of others.

"I dunno…"

"It’s chicken pie."

"My name’s Dean."

Castiel blinked at the suddenness of it and then laughed when the boy turned expectant eyes on him.

"Well then, Dean. Here you go, I hope you enjoy it."

Dean looked like a kid in a toy store as he flipped the lid and he actually outright groaned when the scent of the pie hit him. It smelled delicious and Castiel was just glad that the rain hadn’t destroyed it (plus he was a bit irritated that he hadn’t actually gotten anything for himself. Apparently feeding the boy had made him forget, which was honestly kind of weird).

"This looks awesome, dude." The boy laughed and closed the lid again, to Castiel’s surprise. "But I can’t eat it."

"Why not?"

Castiel felt his whole body tingle when Dean turned his sparkling eyes on him. "I ain’t got no fork, man." Dean sniggered at Castiel’s no doubt stupid face.

"Oh… I-I didn’t think…"

Dean suddenly threw his head back and laughed a full-belly laugh. His face scrunched up and his whole body shook. And honestly, if this had been anyone else laughing at Castiel’s expense he would have throttled them but when Dean laughed Castiel could do nothing but stare (and feel aroused, apparently).

"You’re fucking adorable." Dean _actually_ had to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes. "I’ll just use my spoon."

Castiel found his composure (probably not fast enough). "Well," he cleared his throat and smiled back, surprised by how much he enjoyed it when Dean teased him. "I guess that’ll have to do."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head almost fondly. "Thanks, Cas."

Was it weird that Castiel’s stomach felt like a thousand butterflies when Dean gave him a nickname? Probably, but there wasn’t much he could (or would want to) do about it.

  
  



	2. Illnesses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y’all so fucking much for your encouraging comments! I love you <3

  
  


A couple of days later Castiel had learned a few things about Dean. Mostly his likes ( _"Look at that classic car, Cas. What a beauty."_ ) and his dislikes ( _"Kale? What the hell, Cas? Get that fucking thing away from me."_ ) but Castiel liked everything he heard.

He had yet to learn why Dean was homeless and Google had told him it was considered "impolite" to ask so he figured he wouldn’t until the moment was right. Sharing a strawberry flavored ice cream during Cas’ incredibly short lunch was probably not the right moment, Castiel figured.

He had touched on the subject but it had made Dean shut down and Castiel didn’t like the faraway look in the boy’s eyes. It was after that that he had turned to his good friend Google and now he figured he knew better.

Anyway, the point was that even though neither of them shared anything personal Castiel was starting to feel like he was getting to know Dean better and that made him strangely happy. And that, of course, was the whole problem of the matter.

Because even though Dean hadn’t told him very much Castiel _had_ managed to weasel the boy’s age out of him and it turned out that Dean was, in fact, a boy. Oh yes, he had bristled quite a lot when Castiel had mentioned that but the truth remained.

It didn’t matter that he would be turning eighteen in a few short months (that was Dean’s way of putting it, Castiel on his part felt like little over five months was a long time coming), he was still a minor right now. Dean was very confident, though, and he was certain he would just have to survive the winter and after he had turned eighteen he would be able to get a job.

Castiel, on the other hand, knew that it took more than a can-do attitude and age to get a job. Like a driver’s license and a high school diploma, not to mention a home address and social security number. It made him depressed to think about that, though, because he didn’t want to take away Dean’s confidence. The boy would need it and Castiel found himself wanting to help Dean shine.

Some of that stemmed from Dean’s charming attitude, Castiel was sure, but mostly he had to admit that he wanted to help Dean because he felt guilty as all hell. Because yes, Dean would be turning eighteen soon (kind of soon) but he was still a kid and Castiel had of course managed to have not one but several jerk off sessions featuring Dean before he learned the boy’s actual age. So now the shame he had felt after his self-loving had turned into white hot guilt (made worse by the fact that he couldn’t stop sexualizing Dean, even after learning his age).

So what Castiel did was decide that he shouldn’t see Dean anymore, because let’s face it, even if Dean just thought of him as this gullible old man Castiel looked at Dean with much too hungry eyes and it was inappropriate.

Besides, he had spent two lunches with Dean now and he was late (for him) every morning because he couldn’t not stop by Dean’s little cardboard hut and see if he was awake. And if he was, Castiel usually ended up late for real. Hannah was the only one who had noticed so far but it was enough. Yes, Castiel thought to himself as he took a cab to work that next morning (for the first time since that blizzard the year before), distancing himself from Dean was the right thing to do and he felt good about his decision.

It didn’t explain why he spent his lunch that day researching Illinois state laws and finding (to his dismay) that the age of consent actually was seventeen. Okay, so that would mean that Dean was legal, right? And that should feel great because now he wouldn’t have to feel guilty except he totally did anyway.

Because great, seventeen was apparently deemed old enough to consent to sex _except_ if the offender was in a position of authority or trust over the victim, then the age of consent was raised to eighteen. And Castiel was _pretty_ certain how his and Dean’s potential relationship would be viewed.

So yeah, he had been right all along and he was a creepy old man who couldn’t stop staring at how Dean’s nose creased when he smiled with his whole face. Honestly, at this point he didn’t even know what was wrong with him. Castiel was never indecisive and it made him antsy. But what _did_ he want with Dean?

He liked it when he made Dean happy, he liked it when Dean was happy Castiel came to see him. Maybe he should just get himself a dog?

But no, he also wanted to see Dean grow and expand, learn and experience things. Maybe he should adopt a kid?

But no ( _no_ ), he also fantasized about seeing Dean flushed from arousal, wanted to push inside and take (and give). Maybe he should hire himself a hooker?

Castiel sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his face tiredly. It was true that he was a bit sexually pent up but it wasn’t just that. Yes, he thought about Dean in his bed writhing from pleasure, hanging off of Cas’ dick. But he also imagined peeling away Dean’s many layers (both figurative and literal) to see him completely open and vulnerable to Castiel.

He wanted Dean’s trust and he wanted to show the boy how he would treasure it.

Was he falling in love with Dean? That was absurd. First of all there was the age difference and then there was the power play (why was that hot? Stupid state law), then there was the huge fact that Dean was homeless, had probably run away from home, and maybe had the police looking for him.

And then, _Jesus fucking Christ_ , they didn’t even _know_ each other. They had literally met only a week ago. Castiel was a highly successful CEO of one of Sandover’s biggest branch offices and Dean was an underage _bum_. It was ridiculous to even think they would have enough in common for Castiel to even feel remotely interested in Dean.

No, Castiel was clearly just sexually frustrated and Dean was just beautiful enough to catch Castiel’s eye. Plus, who didn’t like it when someone looked at them with adoration? Yes, that was it and Castiel had certainly made the right decision in not seeing the boy (boy!) again.

  


So why did the next morning find him standing at the mouth of Dean’s alley? Simply put: because Castiel was a fool for trying to fool himself. He wished he had someone he could have talked to about this but he didn’t have many friends and the few he had he would like to not scare away with his obvious crush on this little boy. Castiel should just shoot himself and he was glad that Dean’s curtain was closed. Glad and disappointed.

  


****

  


The next day it was raining again and Castiel grumped the whole way over to Dean’s alley. He didn’t like having to bring an umbrella to the office, which was why he usually didn’t bother, but the wind was getting colder so the rain hit harder. He should have just taken a cab, especially considering that he _shouldn’t_ be talking to Dean anymore. But somehow it didn’t sit right with him to just quit seeing the boy cold turkey. He should probably explain himself to Dean but what would he say?

 _I can’t see you anymore because I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. I feel like a school girl._ Hell no.

But he had to say something, didn’t he? It was difficult, though. It was of course insane of him to harbor any kind of feelings towards this boy, let alone an infatuation like this, but that was also exactly why it was so hard for him to let go.

In any kind of normal circumstances he would have been able to sit the person down and talk to them or maybe just ghost himself out of their lives and it would be difficult but not incredibly so. With Dean things were much more complicated. Because if Castiel didn’t keep checking in on him he wouldn’t have any idea how the boy was faring.

Because Dean was _homeless_. He was a homeless, underaged _boy_ and he could actually die and Castiel didn’t think he could live with himself knowing he could have done something but didn’t because he was afraid of his feelings.

So, okay, maybe he didn’t have to stop seeing Dean altogether but should maybe just cut down on it? Could perhaps see if he could help Dean with getting a job so he wouldn’t be homeless anymore? Castiel didn’t know Dean (very well) but he was certain that Dean was the kind of person who liked to take care of himself. Using Castiel’s many connections to get him a job would maybe stretch it for Dean but Castiel also thought that Dean was smart enough to see that it would be beneficial for him.

And that way Castiel could eventually fade out of Dean’s life without having to worry about finding Dean’s corpse in the gutter. Yes, good plan.

Too bad Castiel basically forgot all about it the moment Dean poked his head out from his cardboard home and smiled when he saw Castiel standing there. Goddamnit, that smile was blinding. Dean could be ruthless in the business world if he ever figured out how to use his charm for manipulation (maybe he already had? Oh, how convenient it would be to blame Castiel’s inappropriate feelings on that smile).

"Cas." Dean wiped rain out of his eyes and waved Castiel over. Despite himself Castiel found his feet moving as if on their own accord to carry him closer to the boy. "Haven’t seen you in a while."

"Yes, well," Castiel looked to the side and gripped his brief case harder. He couldn’t even look at Dean without wanting to sit down beside him in his cozy little cardboard haven. He shouldn’t be here. "I’ve been busy, I _do_ have a job."

He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth but it was of course too late. The damage was done and Dean was already looking down at the ground, his cheeks slightly flushed in what Castiel hoped was rightful anger and not shame.

"Right." He mumbled and huddled in on himself. "I knew that."

Castiel’s stomach churned unpleasantly. He shouldn’t have come if all he would do was cause Dean harm, that was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

"Don’t sit out in the rain, you’ll catch a cold." And now he sounded like a disapproving father, great.

Dean glared at him and Castiel’s blood shouldn’t run hot at the sight but it did. Just imagine if that glare was because of something else (say, for instance, because Castiel refused to let Dean orgasm)…

"That’s why I bought the jacket." Dean snapped and Castiel had rolled his eyes before he could stop himself.

What was wrong with him? He was usually much more composed than this (although Dean did tend to bring a rather childish side out of Castiel) and he certainly hadn’t come here to argue. Sure, he was in a bad mood because he suddenly was experiencing all these feelings that were relatively new to him and Dean was the center of it but that didn’t mean the boy deserved to be treated badly for it, that was the exact reason why Castiel had thought to distance himself from the beginning.

None of that explained his next words, though.

"The weather will only get worse, you shouldn’t be sleeping outside at this time of year. I have an overnight apartment not far from here, it’s big enough to accommodate you as well."

Dean just stared at him and Castiel, for his part, could only stare back because what the hell had he just said? Sure, offering Dean a place to stay had crossed his mind before (and he had briefly entertained the idea of giving the boy the spare bedroom in his already way too big apartment) but he hadn’t thought to act on it. Because, for one, it was dangerous to invite strangers into your home and, secondly, _he was still harboring the same inappropriate crush he had five minutes ago_. This was not a way to distance himself. Damnit, brain, this was not what had been agreed upon.

Thankfully (or not?), Dean rescued him from his faux pas by shaking his head.

"Don’t bother, I wouldn’t want to disturb you when you’re working."

Why did it hurt to hear Dean decline his offer? This was for the best, surely.

"Well, I _do_ bring some of it home." He muttered (petulantly) and wondered why he was lying. Sure, if there was a particularly big project that needed his attention he would occasionally bring some paperwork home but usually he refrained from it.

"There you go." Dean huffed and crawled into his little home. "Don’t be late because of me."

Castiel realized half-way to the office that this was probably the first time he had gotten his feelings hurt by a potential love-interest. Also realized that it mostly had been his own fault.

  


*****

  


Three days passed before Castiel even started walking to the office again. During that time he had two meetings with _Brown & Brown_ (and one to chew out Zachariah for almost botching the whole deal). He oversaw two drafts for contracts with a new wholesale dealer but left the final decisions up to the finance department.

On the whole he did a spotless job (as always) and took his frustrations out on himself by drinking too much and sleeping too little. And on Hannah when she accidentally gave him a salad with vinaigrette on. Balthazar demanded he apologize but Castiel later felt that that apology had been pretty pointless since he hadn’t mean it. Hannah hadn’t seemed to notice that, though, so he thought it was fine.

During a short elevator ride he even had a brief discussion with Sam Wesson (the one tech support guy Castiel had always felt he could ask about IT questions without feeling stupid for not knowing) about stray cats. Sam advised against engaging with them too much and thinking about Dean’s scathing glare Castiel was inclined to agree, which made him feel better about his decisions.

  


When he on the morning of the fourth day stopped outside Dean’s alley to stare at the soggy mess that had become of the boy’s shelter under the unyielding Chicago sleet he reflected on how there was nothing to feel good about. It scared him a little how fast he had deteriorated but he wasn’t really surprised.

The curtain was drawn as much as was possible in the state the boxes were in but Castiel could see one of Dean’s sneakered feet poking out. So the boy was sleeping, well Castiel supposed that was for the best (and also not unusual at this time of the day) so he just kept walking to his office.

He spent yet another day in a miserable state that was only reflected in his clipped tone. Come evening he caved in and called Anna if only to hear her voice but ended up cutting the call off short when he realized he was in too bad a mood to even fake interest in her life. He later felt bad about that but couldn’t do much about it in the middle of the night.

The next morning found everything basically the same and Castiel frowned at how it looked like Dean’s foot hadn’t moved since the morning before. There was even a thin film of melting snow on it. But no, of course he would have moved. He had probably just fallen asleep in the same position again.

Satisfied with that conclusion Castiel walked to the office to start what turned out to be an incredibly unproductive morning (by his standards). By lunch he had worked up himself thinking Dean was dead or something and he brushed off Balthazar’s lunch invitation as if he was swatting away a fly.

He bought a chicken curry sandwich from the cafeteria on floor six because if Dean was fine (he was probably fine) then Castiel would feel incredibly stupid if he came empty handed. On his way over to Dean’s alley he wished not for the first time that he had someone he could talk to about this absurd situation.

He missed Gabriel more than usual in that moment but it was a long time since he had been able to listen to his big brother’s advice. He supposed he would someday have to deal with how he had never really dealt with Gabriel but that day was not today. Today he needed to check in on Dean, confirm that the boy was okay and perhaps even explain to Dean why they shouldn’t meet anymore. Apologize and explain, yes that sounded good.

When he arrived at his destination he forgot just about everything but the boy. Dean was still lying in the same position, his foot looking small and dirty and _unmoving_. Castiel didn’t really know why (yes he did) but his mind short-circuited and he dropped the sandwich to the wet ground and all but ran into the alley.

"Dean!" he shouted, his heart in his throat. He had _told_ him, had warned Dean against sleeping outside in this weather. Had even offered his own apartment for fuck’s sake. Oh God, what if it wasn’t the weather? What if…?

He practically threw himself to the ground, his Armani suit pants getting wet at the knees and he didn’t even notice that. What if Dean had been hurt? Stabbed or shot? What if he had been lying here, trying to say something, calling out for help, and no one had heard him? _Castiel_ hadn’t heard him.

Inside the box was as cold as the 56 degrees outside but it was by far more humid. Castiel breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Dean inside, sans blood and still breathing but just that sigh made him choke on the humidity. And Dean was actually sleeping in this. It smelled like wet dog and Castiel itched to get out of there and take Dean with him. The coziness had definitely been destroyed by the sleet and all that remained was a soggy mess.

"Dean." He muttered and shook the boy’s arm. "Dean get up, I’m getting you out of here."

He waited a polite thirty seconds before he started freaking out again because all he got in answer was a breathy sigh and Dean still wasn’t moving.

"Dean?"

Ignoring all decorum, Castiel climbed further into the box shelter, almost straddling Dean’s prone body (and come to think of it, was this really a position Dean would be sleeping in? It looked like he had passed out and fallen down).

Castiel hissed to himself when he touched Dean’s forehead and cheeks and found them scalding to the touch. Sleeping (passed out?) outside with a fever? Yes, this was certainly a cocktail of disaster just waiting to happen and Castiel wouldn’t have it. Not under his watch and not when he had just been scared that Dean had been stabbed to death.

For one, Castiel wasn’t so evil that he would leave anyone lying on the ground when he could have helped. And other than that he knew that he had to help Dean, and not just because Dean was easy prey for both molesters and robbers now, but because… he just _had to_.

So that was how he found himself flagging down a cab in the middle of the busy street outside Dean’s alley and shooting off a text to Hannah at the same time. He was the CEO, he didn’t have to call in sick, but it was a curtesy he would afford her because he knew she would be dealing with a hellish afternoon now.

He had managed to hail down a cab just a few moments later and even though he was effectively blocking the alley he was still very aware that Dean was vulnerable in there and it made him antsy. The cabbie didn’t appreciate Castiel snarling at him to get out but Castiel couldn’t control his emotions right now and it was a new one for him.

"I’m sorry." He bit out. "I meant, please get out and help me carry my friend to your cab."

"What’s wrong with him? I don’t take no drunks in my car, pal."

Castiel squinted at the man and saw him, big and burly as he was, shrink back in his seat.

"You will go into that alley and _carefully_ carry my friend to the backseat of your sad excuse for a car and I will pay you another hundred dollars." He leaned in, covering the whole window with his body. "How about that, _pal_?"

The cabbie looked angry, sure, but the promise of money softened him up, just like Castiel had suspected. Some could be ruled by awe, some by fear, and some were just too dumb to know what was best for them but money always did the trick. Castiel hated to admit it but that lesson had been a hard learned one.

He still remembered Crowley’s smug smirk. _"Oh so you didn’t get the deal you wanted, Novak? Well, here’s a tip for the ages, darling: money talks."_ That had stung pretty badly but Castiel had still learned his lesson and Crowley now made most of his money helping Castiel out.

So yes, lesson learned and it worked this time as well because though the cabbie muttered all the way he still went to retrieve Dean (under Castiel’s incredibly watchful eye) and placed him delicately in the backseat.

Satisfied, Castiel went to sit up front with the cabbie and the man made a sour face at him.

"I want my hundred bucks."

"You will tack it on the fee." Castiel snapped and swiped open his phone. "JeffJack Apartments and step on it."

"It ain’t no copper flick." The cabbie muttered but he still snuck into the traffic faster than was probably appropriate.

Castiel wasn’t paying much attention, though, too occupied with calling his private physician Dr. Robert. He answered after a mere twenty seconds but Castiel was already seething by then.

"You need to get yourself a receptionist."

"Mr. Novak?" Dr. Robert sounded so surprised Castiel later would feel bad about how he behaved. "Is something the matter?"

Castiel had had Dr. Roberts as his private physician for over seven years but he had only ever gone to him for his checkups. For him to call like this Castiel supposed it would sound pretty severe, which it was. Dean still wasn’t moving and was actually drooling a little.

"I am in need of your expertise." He frowned at the cabbie when the man cut dangerously close between two cars, both of which honked furiously. The cabbie didn’t even bat an eye.

"Of course." Dr. Robert said calmly, albeit still with some confusion. "Let me get my calendar and we’ll see if we can’t schedule you in this week."

"I need you to make a house call right now."

Dr. Robert was quiet for a moment while the cabbie swore in a Slavic language at a passing car and Castiel took a moment to check on Dean (still passed out cold). He turned up the heat in the car and saw the cabbie eyeing him but not saying anything.

"Mr. Novak—"

"Dr. Robert." Castiel cut off in a haughty tone. "I have been with your practice since it was nothing more than a hole in the wall over Big Bert’s Burger Joint and I will keep being your faithful patron until the day I move. So I will see you in my apartment in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?" Dr. Roberts spluttered. "But my practice is—"

"I know very well where your practice is, good doctor, I have frequented it enough times. Good day."

It was perhaps (definitely) rude of him to hang up like that, not to mention what he was expecting of Dr. Robert. Especially considering that Castiel barely would make it to his apartment in ten minutes but the point was that he was scared and he hadn’t been this scared for almost 25 years and last time it hadn’t ended so well.

He turned in his seat when they were finally closing in on JeffJack’s impressive building. Looking at Dean through the little divider made Castiel ache to hold the boy and while he knew he was physically strong enough he didn’t want his feelings getting the better of him and causing him to drop Dean on the way up to his apartment.

The cabbie parked crookedly in front of the building and Castiel sneered at him for the prompt stop.

"Wait here."

"Hold on a second—"

Castiel did not hold on at all. He just jumped out of the car and swiftly crossed the sidewalk to the concierge standing outside. It was the same man that usually worked on weekdays and Castiel was thankful for it. He didn’t know any of the concierges but this one was big and was more prone to actually remain at his post instead of flirting with the receptionist girl like the others.

He tapped his finger to his hat when Castiel approached him and gave Castiel a friendly smile.

"Mr. Novak."

The greeting calmed Castiel down. This was his domain, he was known here, people would do what he wanted them to.

He straightened his back and hoped he didn’t look like too much of a mess with his still wet knees and his hair damp by sweat.

"I require your assistance, please follow me."

The concierge glanced behind himself (probably looking at the desk inside through the big glass walls) and then nodded once. Satisfied Castiel led him to the car where the cabbie had stepped out and actually opened the door for Castiel to better reach Dean. Castiel gestured for the concierge to grab him and the man didn’t hesitate or ask questions.

"I want two hundred." The cabbie snarked and Castiel gritted his teeth against the obvious scam but didn’t put money above Dean’s welfare (it was more the principle of things that made him irritated) and paid the cabbie just to get rid of him.

The cabbie drove away with a jerk but Castiel had already turned to the concierge and Dean.

"Will you man the elevator, sir?" the concierge asked in what Castiel could only call a southern drawl and Castiel nodded before opening the door for the man to step inside.

Dean was carried bridal style and his head rested snugly on the man’s shoulder. His right hand dangled as they walked and Castiel took it in his only to place it gently on the boy’s stomach. The receptionist glanced up at them but Castiel didn’t spare her much more than a glare and she found herself busy with her computer.

Well inside the shiny elevator Castiel swiped his tag to gain access to the floors and pushed the button for the penthouse floor. He couldn’t help but glance at Dean’s face the whole elevator ride.

"If it’s something serious, sir, then shouldn’t you take him to the hospital?" the concierge asked just as they stepped out on Castiel’s floor.

"I have a doctor coming over, I won’t risk his health sitting in the emergency room waiting for a doctor to have time."

The concierge nodded slowly as Castiel unlocked his door. His apartment opened up to a spacious hall with a guest bathroom to the right but he just motioned for the concierge to follow him as he walked into the combined living/dining room.

The concierge didn’t need any prompting before putting Dean down on the couch and Castiel couldn’t not stroke the boy’s hair from his forehead.

"He’s burning up." Castiel almost whispered.

"You should put some damp cloth on his head." The concierge said in his slow drawl. "Sir."

Castiel nodded because yes, he knew that. His mother had taken care of him and his siblings when they were small so he knew how, even if he himself hadn’t been sick since middle school.

"Yes." He turned to the concierge. "Thank you. I will of course compensate you."

The concierge stopped him when he went to pull out his wallet. "There’s no need, Mr. Novak. Helping the tenants is a part of my job. And I can see you worry very much about your…" he glanced down at Dean. "Friend. You don’t need other things to worry you. Please don’t hesitate to call the front desk if you need help with anything else."

Castiel felt so thankful he almost went boneless. "Thank you," he looked at the concierge’s name tag. "Mr. Lafitte."

The concierge blinked. "Just Benny is fine, sir."

"Thank you, Benny."

Benny smiled and exited shortly after, leaving Castiel feeling strangely alone. Dean was still sleeping but appeared to have been dragged out of the deepness of it. His eyelids were fluttering and he was moving his fingers a little. Castiel wanted nothing more than for the boy to wake up so that Castiel could scream at him that he had been right all along. Just look at what sleeping outside in sleet got you, _Dean_.

He would never do that, of course, but he kind of wanted to.

He remembered Benny’s advice about the damp cloth and he was just on his way to the guest bathroom when his entry phone rang. He answered probably too violently and could just imagine the ruckus on the other end.

"Yes?" he hissed but then smacked himself because it was of course the receptionist that rang, poor girl, telling him about his visitor.

"A Dr. Robert here to see you, Mr. Novak."

"Send him up."

Castiel did not wring his hands but he did pace. Of course it only took Dr. Robert a few minutes to reach Castiel’s door but it still felt like an eternity when Castiel had to listen to Dean’s wheezy little breaths.

He all but ripped open the door before the bell had even quieted and Dr. Robert looked at him with a disapproving squint.

"I sincerely hope your dick is falling off."

Castiel wrinkled his nose. "Don’t be disgusting." He gestured the doctor inside and Dr. Robert walked in with the air of someone who had never been in a penthouse apartment before.

"This is my lunch break, I will be as disgusting as I want." He muttered on his way past. "Now tell me what this is about, I—" he had stopped by the couch and was frowning down at Dean. The boy was lying on his back with his legs spread and Castiel only now realized what that position might look like.

Hastily he went to push Dean’s right leg to fall against his left and he harrumphed to get Dr. Robert’s attention.

"This is about my friend."

" _Please_ tell me this is not what it looks like." Dr. Robert groaned and Castiel’s whole body flared with indignant anger.

"I found Dean passed out in an alley." He started with a deadly calm. "We were meeting for lunch, it looked like he had been lying there for hours."

"Hours?" Dr. Robert asked and kneeled beside Dean, opening his big black (stereotypical) doctor’s bag. "Why would he have been lying there for hours without someone noticing?"

"I don’t know." Castiel said exasperatedly. "He might have passed out on his way to work and some cardboard boxes fell on him." He glared down at the doctor’s skeptical glance. "What? It’s plausible and also not the point. The point is that I found him half covered in snow and _burning up_. Just…" he gestured animatedly at Dean in a way he never did. Never got this riled up. "Just fix it."

Dr. Robert sighed (most probably at Castiel) and went to work checking Dean for injuries and possible reasons for him to be passed out like this. Dean kind of woke up when Dr. Robert started removing his jacket and he mumbled something incoherent, flailing his arms uselessly until Castiel took one of his hands in his.

"Dean." He murmured softly and stroked the boy’s cheek. Dean’s brow furrowed. "It’s Cas. You’re safe."

"Cas?" Dean asked in a garbled voice and Castiel nodded even though Dean still hadn’t really opened his eyes.

"Yes, Dean. Everything is fine."

"Cas." Dean concluded and seemed to drop into unconsciousness once more, though his hand remained in Castiel’s grip.

"It’s a severe cold." Dr. Robert stated then and Castiel almost jumped out of his skin. Dr. Robert looked at him funnily. "He needs to take a bath to wash off sweat and grime, and to cool off his body. And then he just needs rest and food." He stood up and handed Castiel a bottle of Aspirin. "With the food." He advised and then started towards the door.

"Wait." Castiel almost walked into the doctor when Dr. Robert stopped immediately. "Is that all?"

Dr. Robert almost smiled (Castiel could see him fighting it). "That is all yes, but don’t marginalize it." He stepped up to Castiel and clapped him on the shoulder. "You did a good thing, bringing him here Mr. Novak. If he had stayed outside much longer he probably would have fared much worse, if not outright died. But in here with you he’s quite safe, just as you said. Now, I will charge you heftily for this impromptu house call but I think we can both agree that it’ll be worth it."

Castiel didn’t know why but he was blushing even after the doctor had left. He saw it in the mirror he kept in the hall and he gritted his teeth against his own behavior. He was a grown man and he shouldn’t have overreacted like that. Sure, bringing Dean here was a good call but he had made a circus over it and he regretted that now. Dean would laugh at him if he knew.

_Dean._

Thoughts of the boy led Castiel back to him and he found Dean sleeping in that same sprawl but looking more uncomfortable now that he was half-way on top of his rumbled leather jacket. He needed to get Dean into the guest bed but first, a shower.

"Dean?" the boy responded with a mumble when Castiel shook his shoulder so Castiel took it upon himself to pull Dean up into a sitting position and shake him harder. "Dean?"

"Cas?" the ‘s’ sounded like a ‘z’ when Dean wheezed it out but it only made Castiel smile.

"Yes. I need you to take a shower."

"Later." Dean mumbled. "Live with the smell."

Sassy as always, Castiel couldn’t help smiling wider. Yes, Dean was sick and yes, if Castiel hadn’t picked him up when he did then maybe something horrible could have happened but it was evident now that Dean was mostly okay and that made Castiel so relieved he almost started laughing.

"Your smell is fine, Dean." It was kind of rank. "It’s for your fever."

"Ugh." Dean grunted and grumped all the way to his feet but once he was standing he easily leaned on Castiel and had the older man almost carry him to the master bathroom. Come to think of it, it probably would have been easier for Castiel to actually draw the bath and then carry Dean to it.

"I’ll make it lukewarm." Castiel said when they were finally in the bathroom. He almost choked on his own spit when he looked over his shoulder only to see that Dean already was undressing.

He was sluggish, though, and ended up with his head stuck in his t-shirt, making a pitiful sound as he stumbled on his feet.

"Hey." Castiel murmured and had to shove his (inappropriate!) arousal down as he rose to his feet and helped the boy undress partially. He _really_ didn’t want to help Dean with his jeans so he started backing out the moment Dean’s head was free. "I’ll go make you something to eat. Call me if you need me."

"I need a lotta things…" Dean muttered but he didn’t specify any of it and he still seemed sluggish so Castiel let it slide.

Looking into his fridge only made him depressed so he ended up calling the front desk for some food from the coffee shop in the lobby to be brought up. It was one of the baristas that brought it up for him and not Benny like he had expected so he gave the girl a big tip as thank you.

Castiel nearly had a nosebleed when Dean emerged from the bathroom only ten minutes later, one of Castiel’s fluffy towels slung (incredibly) low on his skinny hips.

"Bacon?" he asked hopefully as he sniffed the air and Castiel held up the sandwich he had purchased to replace the one he had dropped in Dean’s alley.

"Chicken BLT."

"Awesome."

Dean inhaled the food, soda, and Aspirin with such gusto that Castiel wished he had had something more to give the boy. But Dean started looking kind of loopy not long after the food was finished and Castiel ushered him to bed instead. He wished he had taken the time to ask Dean some of the many questions he had but Dean had needed to eat and he still seemed high from his fever so Castiel had let the silence settle comfortably between them instead.

"I only…" Castiel cleared his throat uncomfortably as they entered the guest bedroom. "I don’t have a spare pajamas, I only have a pair of my boxers for you to sleep in. I will wash your clothes for you while you sleep."

Dean, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be completely listening. He nearly squeaked at the sight of the guest bed and then proceeded with (giving Castiel a brain aneurysm) ripping off his towel and climbing into the bed buck naked.

It took Castiel a few moments to pick up his jaw from the floor and Dean spent them humming and snuffling in the bed, burrowing down like a little squirrel.

"Thanks, Cas."

"Y-yes…" Castiel cleared his throat again. "You sleep well now."

Castiel closed the door to the guest bedroom and thought he probably should call Hannah so he would have something to occupy the rest of his day with lest he spend it imagining Dean’s perfect bubble butt. Good Lord, Castiel would end up chafing his dick if he didn’t get his mind out of the gutter.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas’ apartment as readily stolen from [here](http://jeffjackapartments.com/floor-plans/) (see penthouse 2):


	3. Homeward

  
  


_"Cas." Dean sighed as Castiel worked his mouth down the boy’s slim body. "Cas, it feels so fucking good."_

_"You taste good."_

_Dean gasped and arched into Castiel’s touches. His back curved sensually and Castiel traced it with the palm of his hand._

_"Please, Cas, I want you."_

_"Turn around."_

_The sight of Dean’s perfect ass was almost too much for Castiel. He groaned deeply and bent down to nibble on one cheek, palming the other lovingly. Dean made breathless little sounds and Castiel wanted to drown in the boy’s sweetness._

  


Dean was gone by the time Castiel woke up the next day, despite the boy sleeping all day yesterday and through the night (Castiel thought). He could at least have stayed for breakfast, Castiel thought grumpily as he eyed the hastily written `thanks –D` that Dean had put on Castiel’s coffee machine.

Castiel seethed throughout the whole day, being an absolute ass to everyone, and completely refused to visit Dean’s alley both during the morning and lunch break. By the time most of the office was packing up their things and readying themselves to go home Castiel actually gave up and just threw down the papers he was looking over in his briefcase to take his work home with him for the first time in months.

"I’m going." He stated briskly to Hannah as he passed her desk and she made a surprised noise.

"Going where, Mr. Novak?" she jogged to catch up to him just as he jammed the elevator button.

"Home. I’m done."

"But… it’s only five."

Castiel squinted smitely at her (which was really unfair). "You’re going home now. Everyone else is going home now. _I’m_ going home."

She almost gulped, poor girl. "Yes, sir."

Castiel huffed to himself as she scurried back to her desk. He needed to get his temper under control or it would seriously start affecting his work but it was very difficult for him.

It was a long time since he had cared this much about someone else and it was a _really_ long time since he had been rebuffed so clearly. What had even gone wrong? Everything had seemed fine yesterday in the short interim between Dean’s sleeping. Sure, they hadn’t talked much but Dean had seemed happy when he had jumped (naked!) into the guest bed. Out of politeness, Castiel had even refrained from masturbating to thoughts of Dean despite all those images and dreams.

Despite this being a time of the day when most of the office closed Castiel found himself alone in the elevator until it stopped on the IT support level and Sam Wesson got on.

"Hey Mr. Novak." He greeted in a surprised happy tone. Sam was always very cheerful and it seemed genuine to Castiel so he liked the man. Then again, he liked Hannah as well and he had just been an ass to her, so…

"Hello, Sam."

Good, Castiel thought, his voice had been level. Sam still frowned in that decidedly kicked-puppy way, though, and Castiel groaned internally.

"Is something wrong?"

Castiel wanted to scream that yes, everything was wrong because he had done so much right and Dean was a stubborn brat that clearly didn’t want good things. Also, Castiel wanted to smack his own face against the wall for thinking like that when he didn’t even know why Dean was on the streets to begin with. Following (basically) strangers home did seem dangerous when put in Dean’s point of view, right? Castiel was just overacting and he was better than that.

"Actually, could you advise me on something big that I can buy that would usually come in a big cardboard box?"

Sam looked like he got a mental whiplash and he had to blink several moments (almost long enough for the ride to be over).

"I, uh, all I can think of are like TVs and stuff but I suppose those boxes would be more flat than boxy. If…" he shrugged in what was obviously an attempt at looking casual. "If the box’ boxiness is a concern."

"I suppose it would be." Castiel mumbled. They exited the elevator at entrance level and Sam waved goodbye to the ground floor receptionist while Castiel just walked by, deep in thought and unaccustomed to anyone being there at the time he usually went home. "But it could also be big and flat and cover a lot." Dean _had_ had cardboard panes stapled together so why not this as well? He could perhaps use it as a roof or a new wall? Both had seemed pretty sunken in last Castiel saw them. Yes, that would do for now. "A new TV it is."

He nodded to himself and only then noticed that he and Sam were standing together on the sidewalk in front of Sandover’s office building. Sam was looking a bit concerned and Castiel felt like he probably should be embarrassed but wasn’t because he rarely got embarrassed.

"I’m happy I could be of help." Sam said although he sounded unsure whether he really had been. "And if there’s nothing wrong with your old TV you could always just put it in your bedroom or something."

It was obvious that Sam had understood that it was the cardboard box Castiel was after but bless him, he didn’t ask for what or why.

"I suppose, but I don’t know how to hook it up to the TV-box from there. I guess I’ll just give it to charity."

It wasn’t like it mattered to Castiel anyway and giving back to the community was nice. Sam’s eyes budged out, though.

"Uh, I could help you with that if you want to."

"Really?" the thought hadn’t even occurred to Castiel. "If you want to that would be nice." He started walking down the sidewalk in the general direction of his apartment. "You don’t happen to know where to buy a TV too?"

Sam laughed out loud at that, a carefree and happy sound. It made Castiel stop in his tracks and just look at the younger man. He looked good like that, Castiel reflected and felt a small smile pull at his own lips. How silly mustn’t he look right now? He felt almost normal there for a moment before he found himself wishing Dean had been there too because he had an inkling that the boy would have laughed along with Sam at Castiel’s antics.

A kind of melancholy settled over him when he thought of Dean’s hastily scribbled note. It had been the only evidence that the boy had been there over the night, that and the rumbled guest bed. How easy it apparently had been for Dean to just leave. Castiel was indeed being silly thinking about buying things just to help Dean when he clearly wasn’t wanted. And yet he found himself unable not to.

"I’m sorry." Sam said after a moment, his laughter dying down to settle as a smile on his kind face. "I do know some places, we can go now if you want to?"

"I do."

"Great." He smiled bigger and pointed over his shoulder. "It’s this way."

  


******

  


It was a hassle carrying the flat cardboard box through the streets of Chicago. It was even more of a hassle considering how windy it was this morning. The worst hassle of all, though, was that Castiel was pretty sure he was making a fool of himself and yet he knew he would always make this choice in this moment.

Well, at least yesterday evening had been pleasant. Sam had been very helpful and had only smiled kindly when Castiel had just wanted to buy any TV as long as it came in a big box. The younger man was easy to be around and Castiel grumbled to himself this morning, thinking it would have been so much easier if he had been interested in Sam instead. Not that he was particularly _interested_ in anyone else, mind you. Just… just saying that Sam’s company was carefree and not as stress-inducing as some other people.

Sam had gawked a moment at Castiel’s apartment (almost making Castiel blush) and then he had rolled up his sleeves and showed Castiel how to connect his two TVs to the building’s complimentary TV-box. Since he completely refused payment in the form of money Castiel had offered him Chinese food and they had ended up watching a basketball game that Castiel secretly didn’t understand a single thing of. See, easy. Not like _some_ people…

Castiel gritted his teeth all the way over to Dean’s alley and when he finally arrived he was both out of breath (even though he was in good shape) and red in the face. Dean was actually awake and outside his little home, trying to repair it from what Castiel saw.

The sleet had stopped and so had the rain. Today was actually kind of sunny and the temperature had gone up a few degrees but just because it was dry didn’t mean it wasn’t still pretty cold. Plus there was this wind coming hard from the lake and Castiel could see that Dean’s cheeks were red. He suspected some of that had more to do with his cold than with the weather.

He harrumphed loudly and Dean jumped a little, turning to Castiel and brandishing what looked like a small boxcutter.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said in a voice much colder than he had intended but he was hurt and that was the truth.

"Cas." Dean breathed a sigh of relief. The boxcutter click-clacked when he pulled in the blade. "You scared me."

"Yes, well touché."

"What?"

Castiel was _horrible_ at trash talk. "How scared do you think I felt, Dean?" he hissed and stalked into the alley. At least the wind was less strong in here. "You were _passed out_ from your fever and yet you went back here?"

Dean gaped like a gold fish. "You were scared because of what exactly?"

Castiel threw the cardboard box down on the ground in front of Dean. "If you can’t figure that out then you’re an idiot." Why had he said that? That was insulting and not at all what he had meant to say. "I care about your welfare, Dean, and you just throw it back in my face by going back here. Why?"

"Why?" Dean repeated and he sounded more angry than confused now. That was Castiel’s doing and he was not proud. "Why do you think?" Dean got to his feet to get in Castiel’s face (he wasn’t really tall enough). "I’m a fucking hobo, Cas. When I woke up and saw your place without a fever clouding my judgement I knew I had to get out of there."

"I… what?"

Dean sighed harshly and stepped back, crossing his arms defensively. "I didn’t want to dirty your place up, okay?"

"I still don’t… _what_?" Castiel felt _really_ stupid right now. "I washed your clothes."

"I’m not talking about that, Cas." Dean spat, suddenly angry enough to be hissing like an actual cat. "I’m talking about _me_ and _you_. You’re a big shot and I’m a hobo, no way am I gonna embarrass myself by hanging out with you."

Castiel drew himself up, towering over Dean. "Are you saying that my successes are keeping me from—" he cut himself off before saying _holding you_. "Being friends with you?"

"I’m just sayin’ it ain’t right." Dean mumbled and the anger had once again transferred between them because now Dean had sunken in on himself and Castiel was fuming.

"Well then, _Dean_ , if that is truly how you feel then I supposed it’s better if you stay out here after all. God forbid I could actually decide on my own whom I invite to my apartment." He went to toe the cardboard box but ended up kicking it a little. "I brought this for your _home_ , unless you’re too high and mighty to take that as well."

"Cas…"

"I just wanted to help you, Dean." Castiel interrupted in his icy CEO-voice. "Not because it’s the right thing to do but because I simply couldn’t stay away from you. But if you’d rather live out here and freeze to death, then by all means."

He left to stalk away from Dean and his stupidly green eyes, so stupidly full of honest pleading that Castiel’s heart tugged painfully. Goddamnit, he wished he had never dropped his stupid wallet in the first place.

  


*******

  


Castiel spent the whole day regretting everything about the conversation he had had with Dean. Absolutely _everything_ had been his fault because he was the responsible adult and he should have acted as such. It was clear that Dean was in pain, not just from his illness, and that he needed guidance.

But the truth was that it wasn’t Castiel’s pride that was hurt (it was that a little) but it was his heart. And he didn’t know how to act when that happened because it had never happened before.

He left the office even later than usual, hungry and despondent, and he spent the entire cab ride home with his eyes closed and his forehead leaned against the cool window. He didn’t want to go home to his empty apartment but there was really nowhere else for him to go right now. He longed for his villa but realized that he would be just as lonely there.

The concierge that opened the door for him wasn’t Benny but Castiel recognized him as one of the other regulars and his smile was friendly enough that Castiel felt a little better. The front desk was manned 24 hours and he went there first to inquire after his mail but when he turned around to go to the elevators he stopped dead in his tracks.

Because there, on one of the armchairs in the waiting area in front of the reception, sat Dean with a plastic bag in his lap and a grumpily embarrassed expression on his handsome face. He was looking to the side but it was clear that he knew that Castiel was staring right at him.

"So…" Dean started after a moment spent in speculative silence. "This broad here wouldn’t let me come up."

To the receptionist’s credit she didn’t even make a sound about Dean’s muttering. Castiel sighed.

"That’s because it’s her job not to. Come on." He turned to the receptionist just as Dean got up and walked over. "From now on he’s okay to let up."

"Yes, Mr. Novak." She nodded. "Key?"

He glanced at Dean who was busy trying to look busy. "We’ll see."

Dean looked sweaty and unsteady and he kept sniffling as they walked over to the elevators. Just as Castiel had suspected Dean’s cold hadn’t magically disappeared just because the boy slept indoors for one night. Of course it would require more treatment than that and even though Castiel suspected (feared) that Dean would leave again when he felt better Castiel also knew that he would stop at nothing to treat Dean for as long as the boy let him. He really was an idiot.

"What’s in the bag?"

Dean shuffled from foot to foot. "Nothing special. Just my canned food and the spoon. The knife and you know." He shrugged.

 _His only valuables_ , Castiel thought as they waited for the elevator. Of course he wouldn’t want to risk leaving them if he was expecting to be away for longer than a few hours. Or maybe…

"If it’s nothing special to you then you can throw it out in the trash. I will buy you proper food."

"Nothing wrong with canned food." Dean muttered defensively.

"Of course not." Castiel said patiently. "Here, give it to me."

Dean just sighed and handed over the bag without further protest. Castiel would never admit it but that felt like a win in his favor. If Dean was willing to give this up then maybe he wouldn’t be leaving after all?

He walked briskly over to the receptionist and handed her the bag when she looked up.

"Dispose of this, please." He asked and she nodded without even looking in the plastic bag. "And I’m going to order food soon, please send the messenger boy up when he comes."

"Of course, Mr. Novak."

Dean was already in the elevator when Castiel turned back and he held up the doors as Castiel walked over.

"Mr. Big Shot, aintcha old man?"

"You know," Castiel said dryly as he swiped his tag to start the elevator. "That sass of yours is going to get you in trouble one day."

"Or," Dean simpered when Castiel looked over. "It might just get me a bed in a penthouse apartment."

Castiel rolled his eyes but had nothing to say back to that because Dean was, of course, right in this case. Part of what had drawn Castiel in had been the boy’s looks, yes, but part of what had made him stay had definitely been Dean’s personality.

Well inside, Dean went about _ooh_ -ing and _aah_ -ing at the apartment as if he hadn’t already seen it. He was just playing, Castiel realized when Dean got sight of the new TV and actually choked on his own sounds, and that made Castiel smirk.

"What?" he asked as innocently as he could (he wasn’t a great actor).

"How the fuck did I miss this last time I was here?" Dean was almost pressed against the TV, he was so close to it. He ought to have smelled the newness of it, Castiel reflected with humor.

"Maybe because your fever was very high?" Castiel suggested casually as he went to retrieve the take-out menu from his favorite pizza restaurant. "Or it might be because I had a smaller TV then. I bought this yesterday and put the old one in my bedroom. I’m thinking we’ll split a family pizza, mushroom okay?"

"You bought…?" Dean turned around, his expression somber all of a sudden. Castiel put the menu down on the kitchen island. "Then that cardboard box you gave me this morning…"

"Yes, Dean." Castiel answered calmly when the boy didn’t finish his sentence. He walked up to Dean and put his hands on Dean’s upper arms, squeezing a little. "I admit that I sometimes can come off as insensitive and yes, we are probably from different worlds, but I want to be your friend. I just wanted to help you."

"I…" Dean appeared not to know where to look. "Mushroom’s fine." He mumbled after a moment and turned away before Castiel could determine if that blush was because of him or the fever.

Either way Dean’s answer made him smile. "Great. Go get settled in the guest room and I’ll order."

  


********

  


Living with Dean turned out to be surprisingly easy. Dean adjusted very smoothly to Castiel’s routines, almost to the point of Castiel not noticing him in the apartment other than the guest room being used (and now referred to as "Dean’s room").

It probably helped that his apartment was big enough and had two bathrooms. Castiel had another key and tag made for Dean the day after he had moved in so that the boy could get in and out without further troubles. Not that it mattered too much since Dean spent the first week of his stay in bed and battling his cold.

Castiel, on the other hand, spent it being cool and calm in front of the boy and flipping the hell out behind closed doors. First it was of course because of the fact that he had asked Dean, a complete stranger and a minor, to live with him. Then it was Dean’s cold and Castiel spent countless dollars calling Dr. Robert for useless consultations that Dean could never know about.

Then, thirdly, a major part of Castiel’s freak out was because of his major attraction to the boy. If he had thought (or hoped, more like) that his attraction would lessen now that Dean was living with him and wasn’t a "mystery" any more than he had been dead wrong.

Being around Dean this much was horribly wonderful and he more often than not found himself waking up hard from a raunchy dream featuring the boy. Now, Castiel was a man in his early thirties (at the prime of his life, some might say), so it wasn’t _that_ unusual for him to wake up with morning wood. Usually he drowned it in a cold shower because he couldn’t be bothered with that in his busy morning schedule. Instead he would take care of himself before going to sleep.

Now, however, he was actually too nervous to be masturbating with Dean just outside his bedroom door (and he couldn’t take long showers every time, could he?) so he supposed it was only natural that his dick would get desperate. And if he was being honest he wasn’t so sure he would be able to go on much longer without taking care of himself. Just one long shower now and then couldn’t hurt, could it? If Dean would just get better then he would probably go out sometimes and Castiel could do it then without the boy noticing it.

As promising as that thought was, though, it also made Castiel uneasy. _Of course_ he wanted Dean to get better, don’t be absurd, but when the boy was well again he might leave.

The thought had struck Castiel for real the weekend after he had let Dean in. Dean had been feeling much better and had started talking about things he could do around the apartment when Castiel was at the office.

"I could clean."

"I have a maid, you met her."

Dean had guffawed at the memory, the sound so unrestrained and happy that it made Castiel’s whole body sing with joy.

"Oh yeah, she did _not_ expect me in the bathroom."

Castiel had smiled against the lip of the beer can he was drinking from as they watched _America’s Got Talent_.

"That was my fault, I should have told her."

"Well, she knows now anyways." Dean had chuckled some more and then groaned when yet another commercial break came on. He had muted the TV with determination and turned to Castiel on the couch. "I could cook for you."

"Cook?"

Dean had actually blushed and that blush hadn’t featured in Castiel’s dreams that night (it had).

"Yeah, I mean." He had rubbed the back of his neck and burrowed deeper against the couch, staring straight ahead at the TV. "You work all day. I could have a meal ready for you. And you wouldn’t have to spend money on take-out every day."

Castiel had wondered if Dean had any idea of just how rich Castiel actually was and he had thought about telling him but hadn’t known if that would be a good idea or not.

"Dean, I didn’t ask you to live here with me to be my servant. If you don’t like that Mrs. Huxtable come here and clean for us we can start doing that together, but you don’t have to do anything for me. Okay?"

"I like Mrs. Huxtable." Dean had murmured. "It’s fine, I just thought you wanted some help."

Castiel had leaned over and patted Dean on the knee. "Having you around to brighten the apartment is enough. I like coming home to find some life in here."

It wasn’t until he was done talking that Castiel had noticed how his hand had kind of just landed on Dean’s knee. Not patting anymore, but resting there like it was perfectly natural. Dean had been blushing so hard he had looked like he was about to pass out and Castiel had had to concentrate _really_ hard not to rip his hand away. Thankfully they had been saved by the commercial break ending.

They hadn’t talked more about that but Castiel had come home two nights in a row now to find Dean watching cooking shows, which he swiftly turned off when he noticed Castiel in the room. He felt bad because he was realizing how boring it must be for the boy now that he didn’t have to spend all day sleeping off his fever.

He didn’t know if Dean was from Chicago or not but he guessed not (judging by how happy Dean had been to visit all the tourist places the Sunday after the awkward couch conversation) so perhaps the boy was afraid of going and not finding his way back?

Then again, he had managed just fine the morning after Castiel had first brought Dean here. And the boy had even been unconscious on the cab ride to the apartment.

So maybe it was money? Dean could of course go anywhere he wanted but he wouldn’t be able to do much without money and since he had been living on the street Castiel hazarded a guess that the boy wasn’t exactly loaded. He couldn’t just up and give Dean money, though, could he? He didn’t know but felt like that would be bad etiquette. Dean was after all very prideful.

He supposed he could say it was for food because even though Castiel didn’t want to cook dinner he of course kept other things around. Breakfast stuff (Dean had stared so sullenly at the all-bran cereal that Castiel had had to pinch himself to keep from laughing) and things like snacks, fruit, and of course other things like hygiene things. He could send Dean off to buy things like that for him and intentionally give him too much money, tell him to keep the rest. Yes, that plan seemed waterproof.

Too bad it didn’t solve all his problems. Because yes, giving Dean money and sending him on errands would certainly keep the boy busy for some time but not for long. Dean seemed very intelligent to Castiel, even though he hid it well for some reason. Someone like Dean needed some other kind of stimulation, Castiel was sure.

He wanted to ask about high school and college, or at least a GED. Online courses, perhaps? Anything educational seemed like a good step-stone to start Dean’s mind off because even though Castiel knew Dean hoped to be working soon Castiel also knew that it would be much easier for the boy if he had some kind of degree.

He hadn’t quite worked up the courage for that, though. Mostly because he thought it would hurt Dean’s fragile pride but also because that was also something that freaked him out. What if, when Dean turned eighteen, he landed a brilliant job and decided that he didn’t need Castiel anymore? Or, similarly, if Castiel helped him get a degree in something he wanted to do and then went off and did that? In both cases Castiel would end up standing there looking stupid because of course Dean had just used his kindness until he could manage on his own again.

On the _other_ hand, did he really want to let that feeling keep him from helping Dean?

He was very sure by now that his attraction for the boy, however inappropriate, wouldn’t go away. With time he could even see it developing into deeper feelings (it, of course, already had) and while he was afraid of getting those feelings hurt he still wanted what was best for Dean.

Still, the thought of Dean leaving him was starting to scare him, even though the boy only had been living with him for little over a week. Plus, and here was the biggest problem of all (Castiel’s crush be damned), the boy was still a _boy_. He actually "belonged" to someone in the sense that you couldn’t just take a child from its parents without there being consequences.

Castiel had no idea why Dean was living on the streets to begin with and just like with education, Castiel was too scared to ask.

He just wanted Dean to be with him but he was also realizing that none of his previous relationships (romantic or not) had prepared him for something like this. Which was perhaps why he found himself down on the IT-floor, briskly walking over to Sam Wesson’s booth (conveniently pointed out to him by a freaked out IT-manager).

It was true that Sam was older than Dean and that Castiel didn’t really know Sam’s actual age but he believed he was actually closer to Dean’s than Castiel’s. Besides, who else would he ask? Balthazar? This whole endeavor had made him painfully aware of the fact that he didn’t have that many friends.

"Mr. Novak?" Sam asked when Castiel stopped by his booth. He sounded surprised but not startled like his neighbor. Castiel supposed helping him with his TV had elevated him above CEO in Sam’s eyes and he felt strangely glad for that.

"Mr. Wesson." He greeted smoothly. "Question of the day, what did you do to entertain yourself in your spare time when you were younger?" excellent question, he didn’t know why Sam’s neighbor turned beet red all of a sudden. Sam just looked perplexed and it made him seem younger, perhaps Castiel had misinterpreted the man’s age after all. "Or now?" yes, that was better. "What do you do in your spare time?"

"I’m, uh…" Sam cleared his throat. "I like to jog and I recently took up climbing."

Both interesting choices. "Rock-wall climbing?"

"A, um, a little."

Castiel nodded to himself, filing that away for later. "I was hoping for more of an indoors activity, though."

"Uh…" Sam was obviously starting to feel awkward, Castiel could tell and yes, of course he knew he was the reason for it but he didn’t understand what the fuss was about. Perhaps he should tell Sam that he was hoping to entertain a friend? "I like video games."

It almost sounded like a suggestion and Castiel was about to call him out on that when he was suddenly accosted by childhood memories. Yes, they had had a video game when he was little. Gabriel had been the boss over it before and Anna after, which Castiel had thought was unfair at the time because he was the middle child and the game should have fallen to him after Gabriel even though Anna played with it more. It had been yet another unfair thing in a seemingly unending stream of unfair things at that point in his life.

"Yes, I seem to recall something about a man in red pants. And… mushrooms?"

Sam’s neighbor was looking at Castiel with his mouth hanging open (it was very unattractive) but Sam was smiling kindly, dimples and all.

"Yeah, except they have a lot cooler games than Super Mario nowadays. Some more angled to adult audiences too."

"I see." Castiel most certainly thought Dean was mature enough for that. He just hoped Sam didn’t mean that the games were sexual because he didn’t think he would be able to take seeing Dean playing something like that without getting a nosebleed. "And where might I acquire something like that?"

"I’ll help you, Mr. Novak." Sam smiled wider while his neighbor looked like he was about to pass out for some reason.

"Perfect. Meet me at the ground floor reception at five, if you will."

"Great."

  


It turned out that Sam took him to the same store where Castiel had bought his new TV. He had explained carefully and patiently the difference between the kinds of video game consoles that were available and Castiel had listened and filed it away because that was what he did with all new information. That most of it went over his head was nothing either man mentioned.

"You made a great choice." Sam told him as they were leaving the store.

"I don’t think I even understand the difference, still."

Sam smiled his kind smile and put his hands in his pockets. "I like both Xbox and PlayStation but you have to start somewhere, right?"

"Right." Castiel looked down at the big bag he was carrying, weighted with the console and everything else he would need for Dean. "I think this will do great."

Sam nodded. "And if you don’t like the game we picked out you can always go to the PlayStation store and buy games to download directly to the console."

"I remember." Castiel smiled, proud of himself for completely different reasons than when he had been proud for memorizing all the wholesaler’s phone numbers in his first year at Sandover’s customer support. This was by far more fun. "I needed an account for that, right?"

"Yeah, and it’s a monthly subscription." Sam looked a bit rueful, as if that was his fault.

"I’m sure that’s fine." Castiel waved it off. Sam had told him that it could be as expensive as $60 for twelve months and Castiel hadn’t wanted to talk about that because it made him a bit uncomfortable how he wouldn’t have to bother even thinking about it when Sam obviously counted every penny. "I’d rather say that setting up the account will be the biggest problem. I’ll be glad to even get the console working."

"Oh." Sam blinked down at the bag and then smiled a kind of dopey smile. "Well I can help you. I mean, I can’t today because, um, I’ve got a date. But tomorrow?"

"You have a date?" Castiel frowned disapprovingly. "And you let me take up your time? How inappropriate of me, off you go."

Sam actually laughed, his dimples showing. "It’s not for another hour and we’re only going to a burger joint so there’s no rush."

 _Burger joint_ , Castiel thought. It had been a long time since he had gone to a shady burger shack and eaten until his hands were as greasy as his cheeks. Maybe Dean would like that? Castiel should ask Sam after he had been there if the food was good.

 _As if I would ask Dean out on a date._ What a ridiculous notion.

"A date is a date." Castiel stated somberly and fished out his beloved (because he met Dean because of it) wallet out of his pocket. "I will pay you for your help and you can use that to treat your partner."

A hand on his arm stopped him. "Mr. Novak, no." Sam smiled again, even though it seemed a bit sadder. "There’s no payment required amongst friends. I’d like it if we could be friends."

Castiel had never had many friends, at least not close ones. "In that case I would like you to call me Castiel, at least out of the office." He quirked his lips at Sam’s surprised face. "Or a nickname perhaps? A friend of mine calls me Cas, I suppose that would be alright as well." Balthazar called him _Cassie_ , as did Anna. Castiel had never been very fond of that, though, not like Cas.

"That would be nice, Cas."

"Good." Castiel smiled wider. "Now go, don’t let your date wait."

  


*********

  


Dean was watching TV-shop when Castiel came home and Castiel reconsidered the recent thoughts he had had about buying Dean a phone of his own. Castiel didn’t have a phone in his home other than his cell, which he took with him everywhere, so other than calling the receptionist Dean had no real means of contacting anyone. Seeing the boy so thoroughly entranced with a commercial for hair removal cream made Castiel think that that might not be such a bad thing, though.

 _Maybe a computer, though?_ Castiel thought as he tossed his keys in the bowl by the door. That way Dean could use the computer to surf the net and Skype people and play games and my God, why had he bought a PlayStation for Dean and not a laptop? He could do so much more on a laptop, right?

He rubbed his face with a groan. He was clearly not thinking right and now he just felt like an old dud, and he was only 31 for Christ’s sake! Why was he even buying things for Dean? Trying to buy his affections? That was an ugly thought. Even uglier was that it felt like he was an old man trying to buy cool stuff for his adoptive son.

He didn’t even know what he wanted with Dean or why he had picked him up in the first place. Dean was a person and not a project. And he was a minor and not a hooker. Castiel was both stupid and disgusting and now here he was with a big ass bag with things for Dean and he didn’t even have time to hide them away (so he could claim they were for Christmas) before Dean saw him and jumped over the back of the couch with a grin.

"Welcome home." The boy chimed and Castiel forced himself to look normal and not like he was having an identity crisis. "You were out late today."

The fact was that Castiel was home early by his usual standards but ever since Dean unofficially-officially moved in with him Castiel had made a point of leaving the office no later than six so Dean had no way of knowing how early he really was. He did that both because he didn’t want Dean to eat too late and he knew the boy would wait to eat with him and because he was anxious to get home to Dean. Mostly the latter, though.

Basically only the latter.

Castiel missed Dean when he was at work.

"Yes." Castiel harrumphed and held up the bag for Dean to see it properly. "I got you something to do in your spare time."

"Me?" Dean asked, sounding almost astonished and Castiel kind of hated how much he liked to have been the one to put that expression on the boy’s face.

"Yes, I can’t have you watch TV-shop all day, it’s not healthy."

"I don’t know about that." Dean smiled and peeked inside the bag. "It can be kinda educational and entertaining. I especially liked the commercial about the Thigh Blaster."

That commercial featured a wonderfully toned man, Castiel’s obviously sick mind provided and don’t even ask why or how he knew that (he had happened upon it by accident and had used it as masturbation material). That Castiel even dared entertain the idea that Dean liked the commercial because of the man rather than the training equipment just proved how depraved he was.

"Now I feel even more like an idiot." He sighed and sat down on one of the bar stools by the kitchen island. Dean brought the bag over and heaved it up on the island.

"More?"

Well that was to say, even more than when he realized he should have bought Dean a laptop instead of a video game, but let’s not mention that.

"We have a fitness center in the building."

"I don’t… what?"

God, Dean was adorable when he scrunched up his whole face in confusion like that.

"We do." Castiel nodded and loosened his tie a little. "You’ve been sick for most of the week so I didn’t think about it but we have both a gym and an indoor pool. As a resident you of course have full 24-hour access. Except Wednesdays before noon because that’s when they clean it."

Dean blinked at him. "You… I’m a resident now?"

Castiel could only stare for a moment, unable to process whether it would be bad of him to say that he hoped Dean would never leave. Why was it so difficult to talk to the boy? Was it the age gap? But Castiel could talk freely with Sam and he was younger than Castiel too.

 _It’s the feelings_ , he thought to himself. The inappropriate, unwelcomed, unaccustomed feelings he harbored towards Dean. Even now all he wanted to do was lean over and kiss the boy.

"Well," he harrumphed again and turned to tap the box inside the bag. "You have a key and tag, right? You’re free to use the facilities. Now tell me what you think about what I bought you. I can exchange it if you don’t like it."

Dean was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment and when Castiel glanced over he saw the boy grinning to himself, his cheeks flushed red for some reason. He didn’t have time to ask about it, though, because Dean tore into the bag and sucked in a gasp when he saw the PlayStation box inside.

"Cas…" Dean carefully removed everything that was inside the bag. "You… is it really a PS4 inside?"

Castiel frowned down at the box, which cheerfully declared its content. "Of course it is, why would I put something else in it?"

"I just…" Dean gasped again when he saw the rest that Castiel had bought. "You got a game too?"

"Yes." Castiel said and had to get up to get the take-out menus or he would be in danger of kissing the boy until Dean was breathless for another reason than just these gifts. "I’ve understood that you can download games directly to the console but that you need an account to do that so I bought a game you can play offline as well." Was that correct? He went over the words in his head as Dean read the backside information of the _Diablo III_ game he had gotten. Yes, that sounded correct.

"And you got an extra controller, you wanna play with me?" Dean’s eyes shone so earnestly that Castiel was almost taken aback.

"I-I didn’t know that you could…"

"Yeah!" Dean leapt up and brandished the backside of the game. "See, playable offline and multiple player. That’s awesome."

"Oh." Castiel couldn’t breathe without getting Dean’s clean (and arousing) scent in his nostrils. "I didn’t know. I just got an extra because Sam said they have to be charged and it’s inconvenient to have to wait so it’s easier to just switch controller." Was he babbling? He probably was. He turned to lean against the kitchen counter just to get some space between him and Dean. "But of course we can play together, although I haven’t played for over twenty years." He chuckled to himself. "Sam said this game requires no previous knowledge of the series, though. And he’s coming over tomorrow to help us set up the account so if you don’t like this game we can buy another one tomorrow." Still babbling.

"That’s cool." Dean said but his tone of voice was a little subdued. "So, um, who’s Sam?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Sam? He’s a…" previously he would have said coworker, or even subordinate, but Sam’s earlier request bounced in Castiel’s mind and he couldn’t help but smile a little. "A friend from work. He’s with the IT department."

"Oh, okay."

"Anyway, I hope you’ll like this. We can ask Sam to help us put it together tomorrow."

Dean suddenly turned incredibly serious eyes up at Castiel and shit, it made him look much older. "I can do it myself."

"Really?" Castiel smiled. "I wouldn’t dare to but please, if you’d like to try."

"There’s an instruction manual in here, Cas." Dean stated as if he knew everything about these sorts of things. "I can do it without that Sam."

This was… this was actually bad. Dean suddenly looked so tall, mature, angry in a righteous way, that Castiel’s dick couldn’t help but twitch to life and he was still in his business slacks that hid _nothing_.

"Great." He cleared his throat when that one word came out too gravelly. Who knew he would like Dean’s posturing? "By all means." He waved at the living room at large and some of Dean’s surety seemed to seep out of him.

"Is it okay here in the living room, though? I promise I won’t hog the TV when you wanna watch something."

Castiel rubbed his cheek. "Now that you mention it… it would probably be better if we moved the old TV into your room so I wouldn’t disturb you. We can ask Sam about that tomorrow."

"I can do that too." Dean gritted and for some (normal) people Dean would look like an adorable little kid who wanted to be seen as an adult.

But to Castiel he just looked fucking hot when he tried to assert himself like this. Castiel didn’t know why or what had brought it on but he liked it enough that his knees went a little weak. What he wanted in this moment was really to bend Dean over the kitchen island and fuck him until he was a mess only Castiel was allowed to see.

Would actually love nothing more than for Dean to snarl his way through that fucking only to end up sobbing out his release all over the pristine island. Castiel needed to get his mind out of the gutter and real fast but Dean’s disapproving frown was making that impossible.

"That would be great." He heard himself say and he could only hope he sounded sincere because he was. "We’ll see about it tomorrow then. Set it up in the living room for now and I’ll order us some food. Thai?"

Dean blinked and suddenly he was back to sparkling smiles and somehow that was _worse_. Now all Castiel could think about was how Dean would smile at him after a fucking like that. After he had come hard on Castiel’s dick, what would Dean look like? Wobbly? Sated? Fucked-out? Desperate for more?

Castiel swallowed hard and wondered when (and how!) this had escalated so fast.

"Thai sounds awesome."

Awesome, everything was just awesome.

  
  



	4. Approaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you noticed the new tags some of them are for this chapter and some of them are for upcoming characters.  
> In _this_ chapter Cas is getting desperate, Balthazar tries to be _extremely_ "helpful", and... well we'll see how that works out XD

  
  


_"Cas, fucking hell. Cas!" Dean squirmed on the bed, bucking up into Castiel’s touches._

_"You’re so beautiful, Dean." Castiel murmured against the boy’s lips, their kisses turning into nothing more than lips rubbing against one another as Dean grew increasingly desperate._

_"Stop." Dean whimpered even as he pulled Castiel closer. "You have to stop, I’m gonna come."_

_"I want you to." Castiel rasped and Dean responded by crying out wordlessly as he came hard in Castiel’s hand. "So beautiful."_

  


Sam and Dean had of course gotten along like two peas in a pod, almost to the point of Castiel feeling left out. But it was good. Dean needed friends his own age. Castiel had sourced up the courage to ask and it turned out that no, Dean was not from Chicago at all and he had only been living there for about eight months to boot. That coupled with the fact that he had been living on the streets of course equaled him having no friends to speak of. So it was good that he and Sam had bonded over the video game. Very good indeed.

Sam had wanted to leave Dean his phone number and/or email and Castiel had had to save Dean by proclaiming that his phone was in the shop for some minor problem.

"We’ll probably end up buying a new phone anyway." Castiel had stated clearly and behind Sam’s back Dean’s ears had turned red.

"You don’t need to keep buying me stuff, Cas." Dean had mumbled when Sam had left them for the evening. "I ain’t here for the money."

A statement that of course only made Castiel want to kiss Dean all the more. "I know that, I want to spoil you." A want he had never before felt with any of his actual lovers. In fact, his last boyfriend had left him for that precise reason.

Castiel had liked how adorably red Dean’s whole face went when he said that.

"Just sayin’, old man. You might need the money for your pension or something."

The jab had stung, of course, but Castiel was nothing if not good at hiding his emotions.

"Just go to bed, brat."

To be completely honest Castiel was just happy that Sam had schooled his surprised expression so fast and hadn’t asked a single question about Castiel’s and Dean’s relationship. From the outside it might look like Dean was perhaps a friend’s or a sibling’s kid who Castiel was just looking after. It didn’t have to look as lewd as Castiel felt and he liked Sam well enough to hope the man took it as innocently as Castiel wanted it to seem (because it was).

But the truth was actually that Dean was close enough to being legal and looked older than he was so it would be easy for strangers to assume. Castiel noticed this more plainly when he the next day took Dean out to shop for clothes.

So far Dean had only stayed inside and had used Castiel’s clothes (which, holy hell, had been nice for Castiel). He had even been using Castiel’s boxer-briefs, seemingly completely unaware of how that affected Castiel.

But the truth was that Dean was healthy enough to go outside now and he needed more clothes than the raggedy ones he had had when he had come to live with Castiel. Which, for the record, turned out to be the only clothes he owned. Since JeffJack also had a pool he would need swimming trunks too, something that Castiel managed to talk him into buying on his own with some money that Castiel gave him at the end of the day.

Not that Castiel wouldn’t want to see Dean in nothing but a pair of speedos but come on, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that maturely.

All in all everything went well and they settled into a comfortable pace wherein Castiel didn’t work overtime every day and didn’t return home to loneliness and Dean entertained himself very well on his own and always greeted Castiel with a smile.

A couple more weeks passed and this year Castiel didn’t have to feel sad when he yet again declined coming home for Thanksgiving when Anna called. This year he spent it making a disaster in the kitchen together with Dean (who obviously hadn’t picked up anything from all those cooking shows he had been watching) trying to cook a turkey for the first time.

All in all everything was _going_ well and Castiel was content.

  


**********

  


Except Castiel wasn’t content at all and he was falling apart at the seams with how much he needed to kiss Dean. To hold him, to caress him, to feel the boy in ways he hoped to high heaven that no one else had. Simply put, yes their relationship had evolved from tentative trust into full-blown friendship (complete with Castiel only scoffing when Dean laughed in his face after he had killed Castiel a hundred times in a row in one of those video games Sam made him buy) and that was a nice change but Castiel wanted that little extra too.

Castiel had of course realized this a long time ago but the truth was that he was in love with the boy and it was getting unbearable.

This was proven exceptionally well when Castiel had to go to a conference in Ohio during the first week of December. He had prepared the apartment well so that Dean would be comfortable on his own (like stuffing the pantry full) and yes, it was too close to pampering to be appropriate between friends but Dean had seemed to like the attention.

Anyway, the thing was that Castiel felt as if he was the one suffering the most considering he could do nothing but think about the boy the whole four-day conference. And okay, they exchanged silly text messages throughout the day so Castiel should be content. He told himself he was only checking to see that Dean was okay (and hadn’t run away, he supposed since he still didn’t know why Dean had left his original home) but in reality he just missed the boy.

Balthazar gave him weird looks the whole second day and Castiel realized almost too late that he was paying more attention to his phone than to the conference. He was just glad that Balthazar and Hannah were the only ones of his subordinates that had accompanied him or he would have made a fool of himself in front of too many people.

He managed to get through the second day without a hitch (with his bosses), and when he headed back to his hotel room after (im-)politely begging off after work he could think about nothing else but seeing Dean. Maybe, and this was solid reasoning mind you, if he just saw the boy he would get his wits about him and could manage the last two days. He would after all be able to take the Friday off because of this conference (and because he was the CEO goddamnit), maybe they could use the weekend to shop for Christmas decorations? Castiel hadn’t really celebrated Christmas since he moved to Chicago, choosing to spend it alone in his villa, but if Dean wanted to then he just might enjoy it.

He tugged his tie lose as he sent off a text to Dean, asking for a Skype call and never feeling smugger about buying Dean that smartphone than right now. Dean took the initiative not two minutes later and Castiel smiled widely when Dean’s adorable face came into view on his tiny phone screen.

"Hey there, old man." Dean grinned and yes, that moniker didn’t sting as much nowadays.

In fact, it warmed Castiel enough to smile down at his phone. "Hello, Dean. How are you?"

"Great!" Dean exclaimed cheerfully and okay, Castiel wanted Dean to be in good spirits but maybe he had hoped the boy would have missed him a little bit too. "I invited Sam over, we’re playing _Diablo III_."

Now that stung. "Oh."

"What’s wrong?" Dean’s face turned serious and Castiel saw the background move as Dean walked out of his room where they had put the video game along with the old TV. "It’s okay that I asked Sam over, right? I mean…" Dean looked to the side, perhaps to see if Sam could hear him. "I know this is your apartment but you’ve made me feel at home and I thought…"

It of course wasn’t that Dean couldn’t invite friends over, it was just…

"Of course it’s okay, Dean." Castiel forced himself to smile. "I was just surprised, I hope you’re not playing with the character that you use with me?"

Dean scoffed. "As if. Bertram the Mighty is all yours, I started a witch hunter and Sam is a monk, we just made it to Caldeum." Dean really could play that game over and over without getting bored, Castiel reflected fondly.

"Well then it’s fine."

Dean grinned widely. "So how’s the conference? Boring?"

"Suffice to say that I would rather die by the hands of Diablo a thousand times over before spending another day here."

"Damn." Dean’s grin softened into a smile. "I was thinking maybe we could put up the Christmas decorations this weekend?"

Castiel almost wanted to weep with how in sync they were. More than that he wanted to get on the first plane home and kiss Dean. More than that, he wanted to throw Sam out and assert his dominance over the boy and—

No, that was just silly. He loved how close Dean and Sam had gotten over the last months and Sam had been a frequent visitor since he first met Dean so that Dean turned to him to ease his boredom was to be expected. That it hurt as if Castiel had been replaced was less expected and highly unwelcomed. Dean deserved friends and Castiel shouldn’t get jealous.

But he was and it was made worse by the fact that Dean seemed to have the time of his life while Castiel was dying of boredom. The mentioning of Christmas decorations was a welcomed change in topic, though.

"I would like that, yes." He smiled and felt his heart flutter when Dean beamed at him. This was getting (even more) ridiculous.

  


***********

  


"I have a problem, Balth."

Balthazar twirled his cocktail in his hand, smiling out at the bar they were in. "Do tell."

"It’s serious."

That made his friend sober up and he turned to Castiel in the booth they were occupying. All around them people mingled and the murmur of their conversations combined with the pleasant music that was playing created a comfortable bubble for the two of them even in the midst of all these people. Castiel had frequented this bar a lot before he met Dean and though he didn’t particularly miss the after work drinking (and client dining) he found himself enjoying this rare night out. Plus he really needed to talk to someone and he had realized he really only had one option.

After the conference last week and the following weekend (which could basically only be described as "cozy") Castiel knew he was deep in the proverbial shit. The last straw was when he couldn’t even remember the last time he had missed his villa, something he usually did at least once a week because his villa was his haven. Now, with Dean there, Castiel found himself not wanting to ever leave the apartment.

"Is it something at Sandover?" Balthazar asked with a serious tone. "Is it Adler? I swear, that buffoon is driving me up the wall."

Castiel was well-versed in Zachariah’s more than lacking social skills, it was his main reason for transferring the older man to Balthazar’s department. Maybe it was mean of him but Balthazar was much better at handling Zachariah than Castiel ever had been and after the _Brown & Brown_ incident Castiel found it hard to even look at the man.

So despite himself he smiled. "No it’s not about him."

"It damn well should be."

"It’s a problem of a more romantic nature." What a fine way of putting _"I want to fuck the delicious boy that’s living with me"_. Castiel wasn’t CEO for nothing.

"You, women trouble?" Balthazar looked confused. "Or man trouble? I just… why would you have problems with that? You’re handsome and rich."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Thank you, that should solve everything."

"Don’t be obtuse." Balthazar chuckled. "It was a compliment. Tell me what’s wrong."

"I find myself…" Castiel took pause, uncertain of how he should phrase it. A waitress walked past their table and Balthazar ordered Castiel another shot of Highland Park and a Gin and Tonic for himself. "I have fallen in love with someone that I, simply put, cannot have."

"Are they married?"

"No." Castiel mumbled, which was a trait he hadn’t shown much of in his years at Sandover. "He’s just… too young."

"Who is it?" the waitress quickly returned and Balthazar accepted his drink with a _"thank you, darling"_ , which made the waitress blush cutely. "Is it someone from work?" Balthazar gasped unattractively. "It’s not Bartholomew, is it? Because I know he’s attractive, Cassie, but he’s an ass. A complete _ass_. And I should know, I’ve had too much dealings with him lately. I mean, is he attractive enough that I would fuck him? Yes, of course, but that doesn’t have to affect how he speaks to me." Balthazar leaned over the table, looking half-way to furious. "I’m his superior, he should show me respect."

"Who’s Bartholomew?"

Balthazar blinked and leaned back in his seat, sipping his Gin and Tonic nonchalantly. "No one important. He’s down in Sales. And an asshole."

"Balth." Castiel started in a reproachful tone. "If you have your eyes set on someone in the office you need to tread carefully. Remember that Sandover has a zero tolerance for sexual harassment."

Balthazar muttered something that sounded suspiciously like _"I wish there were sexual harassment going on"_ before he put down his drink and looked at Castiel.

"So who is it, then? My God," he put a hand over his heart and looked appropriately shocked. "It’s not _me_ , is it? Because yes I would definitely sleep with you but don’t you think that would hinder our professional relationship?"

"Stop assuming things." Castiel spat and leaned back in his seat. "And please start being less promiscuous, will you?"

"Well," Balthazar scoffed. "One of us might be getting too much but the other is getting nothing and it’s noticeable which is which."

Castiel gritted his teeth. "I said he was younger than me."

"Low blow, Cassie." Balthazar all but whined. "So low. Hang on!" Balthazar snapped his fingers and Castiel groaned.

"Here we go."

"Rachel told me you’ve left work together with some guy from the IT floor a couple of times. Is that him? Are you fancying a baseborn?"

Balthazar looked like this was the story of the year and maybe it was and maybe Castiel should have kept it to himself. But the whisky had made his tongue loose, the dreams he had been having about Dean had turned his brain to mush and my God had Balthazar really used the term "baseborn"?

"When do you talk to Rachel?"

"When don’t you? She’s the ground floor receptionist after all."

"Yes but…" Castiel narrowed his eyes and Balthazar sipped his Gin and Tonic (loudly). "You’ve slept with her, haven’t you?"

"Now, now, this isn’t about whom I’ve slept with. Or not. This is about you and that strapping young man. I heard he looks like he works out."

"Actually yes he does but that’s beside the point. Sam and I are only friends, quite by coincidence. He actually has a girlfriend, Sarah I believe. He’s asked me to help him with his wardrobe a few times." Castiel glared when Balthazar _ooh_ -ed. "Stop it, he just wanted help because apparently Sarah is, and I quote him, ‘classier’ than him."

"While your air quotes make this story _adorable_ , I have to ask where it’s going."

"Nowhere." Castiel exclaimed exasperatedly. "You asked about Sam, I’m just telling you it’s not him."

"Alright, alright." Balthazar waved a hand to stop Castiel. "Just tell me about the actual problem, I promise I’ll shut up until you’re done."

Castiel waited almost a full minute, just squinting at his friend before he started talking.

"I have a friend who’s a bit down on his luck. I invited him to stay with me but I... I swear I didn’t have ulterior motives even though I knew going in that I felt something for him. It’s now reaching ridiculous proportions."

Balthazar was gaping by the time Castiel ended his short speech and he snapped his mouth shut when he noticed. "Well, I never would have guessed…"

"And he’s incredibly young, Balth."

" _Young_ -young?"

"High school young." Castiel cringed when Balthazar all but squeaked. "He’s not in high school anymore but he’s that young."

He didn’t want to have to explain Dean’s whole situation to Balthazar (especially since he didn’t even know all of it yet) but he still felt a need to emphasize the age.

"So it’s not only a problem that he might feel indebted to you but there’s also the whole age business?" Balthazar tapped his chin with his finger. "Although, state law says seventeen is okay."

Castiel swallowed and remained unwilling to reveal that that was Dean’s actual age. At least for almost two months more.

"That’s true." He conceded. "But I still don’t know how my friend sees me. He jokingly refers to me as ‘old man’ and I don’t know how much of that is affection and how much is actual teasing truth."

"Is he even into men?"

Castel wanted to thump his head down on the table but settled with leaning his elbows on the edge and hanging his head. "I don’t know. He hasn’t shown any signs either way."

"Might be he’s bi?"

"That’s hardly the problem since I don’t plan on acting on this. I need your advice on how to get rid of my feelings since I have failed spectacularly on my own."

Balthazar smacked his lips. "Honestly? I think you should go for it."

"You’re insane."

"Yes, it’s a prerequisite for working in PR, but hear me out." Balthazar grinned at Castiel’s no doubt despairing expression. "You’ve always been a machine at work, you get the job done. You crunch the numbers and you deliver, and that’s great. But there’s been no passion in it for you and it’s shown in your whole demeanor."

Castiel frowned. "We’re a bridge and iron construction company. I actually couldn’t care less."

Balthazar smiled and leaned over the table again. "That’s where you’re wrong. You _do_ care, maybe not about company profit or statistics but you have pride and you’ve been voted best subsidiary CEO two times, Cassie. Your staff likes you, most of us, and you like that we do. I’ve just never…" he laughed a little and Castiel’s ears prickled. "I’ve never seen you show that you like it before, not until these last months. I’ve wanted to ask about it but now I guess I don’t have to. You’re in love, and that explains a lot."

"It does not." Castiel mumbled. He felt ashamed at how he had been viewed before and how people apparently had seen a change in him that he hadn’t even noticed. Maybe they had even seen him as a robot before? Maybe Balthazar was right and Dean was breathing life into this corporate machine.

"So tell me why you shouldn’t go for it?"

_Because if I mess this up Dean might leave and I might never see him again. And if Dean leaves he might end up on the streets again. This time he might die. If I don’t get myself under control I might kill Dean._

The thought would have made him hyperventilate if he wasn’t so stoic in general. Like a robot.

"I just don’t want him to hate me."

"Cassie, I can sympathize. Falling for a straight man is not an easy path and since you don’t know about your friend’s tastes you’re doing the right thing being careful." He scooted a bit closer so he could put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. "But that doesn’t mean you should have to suffer in silence. You need to talk to him."

"I’m too cowardly."

"I find that hard to believe." Balthazar chuckled. "Castiel Novak, the man who stood alone and faced the board members when the Chicago office had botched that bridge job in Peoria, is a coward? I wasn’t with the company then but you had only been CEO for six months and most of those contract negotiations had been dealt with before you even got there. Don’t think I haven’t heard how you challenged the board to give you a chance to right a wrong you hadn’t even done." He nudged Castiel in the side. "You’re telling me that Castiel Novak is afraid of telling his crush how he feels?"

Castiel felt as if he was in high school again. "Yes." He rasped, thinking of Dean’s green eyes.

"Tell you what." Balthazar said, much too cheerfully, and downed the last of his Gin and Tonic. "Bring him to the Christmas party and I’ll help you out."

"What? I shouldn’t."

"Why not?" Balthazar grinned widely. "I have on good authority that the CEO allows us to bring a plus one and if I start flirting with you in front of him you’ll know for sure how he feels about you."

"That’s…" _brilliant!_ "Evil."

"True, but it’s also quite effective, if all those rom-coms I’ve been watching lately are any indication."

Castiel couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. "I’ll think about it. Meanwhile, do you want to tell me about your rom-com problem? Does it involve that Bartholomew?"

"No I don’t and yes it does." It was Balthazar’s turn to glare when Castiel laughed at him. "Sod off."

  


************

  


_"Cas…"_

_Why was Dean wearing a miniskirt?_

_"Cas…"_

_And why was that hot?_

_"Cas, I want you so much. "_

_Castiel’s dick was hard enough to hurt._

_"Cas!"_

_Dean sounded perfect when he moaned._

_"Cas!"_

_Castiel was so close. So incredibly close._

  


"Cas, come on!" the whole bedroom door rattled when Dean slapped it hard. "Get your butt up, you told me we’d go Christmas shopping today. And I need something to wear to that party of yours."

Castiel groaned and dragged one hand down his tired face. "One minute."

His boxer-briefs stuck uncomfortably to his dick when the remains of his first truly _wet_ wet dream dried uncomfortably. Just two more days and Castiel would hopefully get some insight in Dean’s mind at the Christmas party (which the boy had been really reluctant to go to because he _"wouldn’t fit in, Cas"_ ). Castiel was still unsure whether he would act on whatever Dean was really thinking, though.

Balthazar said he would be stupid not to go for Dean if it turned out that Dean was interested in him as well but part of Castiel was still afraid of losing Dean. Plus, and this was the kicker, Balthazar didn’t know Dean’s age yet. Castiel had had to lie to even get Dean on the guest list because guests had to be over 21 since there would be alcohol.

In the end he only hoped for a successful party and a good evening but if his dreams kept assaulting him like this he feared he wouldn’t even make it through Christmas with Dean, nice decorations or not. That the boy had insisted on mistletoe to be hung dead center in the work space between their bedroom doors was something he especially tried not to think about.

  


Dean looked absolutely dashing in his suit because of course he did. And with his charming smile in place (complimented by the bulk he had built up in the gym over the last couple of months) his appearances belied his age and it was easy to believe that he was in fact a man in his early twenties. This of course only made Castiel more on edge.

Dean signed the guest book with the name "Dean Winchester" and Castiel’s cheeks stung with a barely contained blush born from the knowledge that Dean had been living with him for little over three months and he hadn’t once asked the boy for his last name.

He felt pathetic enough to almost walk past Rachel when she tried to (offer to) take his coat.

"They have you working tonight?" he asked politely. "They should have hired someone."

Rachel smiled sweetly. "It’s okay, Mr. Novak. I went last week."

The Sandover office housed too many people to throw a single Christmas party and they usually split it between two dates and divided it between four floors. The Economics floor was always one of them but Castiel had long since suspected that that was because Naomi, the CFO, needed to be in control of the party. Not that Castiel ever would let her skimp out on it (this, amongst other financial issues such as fresh fruit for the employees, had long since been a battle between him and Naomi) and by the looks of it he had managed to get his party but corners had been cut. He would have to talk to Naomi after the holidays.

"As long as you are comfortable." He answered Rachel with a curt smile and she all but curtsied.

He ushered Dean over to the elevators and begged off when a larger party offered to give him the elevator when it came. They were clearly already in spirits and happy and Castiel was flattered that they would wait for his sake but it wasn’t right. So he watched with an amused expression as they piled into the elevator and for a moment after they had left he and Dean were left in silence (except for Rachel and another girl working the reception and coat check).

"So," Dean coughed and turned his head away when Castiel looked at him. "You’re kind of a big thing, huh?"

Dean of course knew by now that Castiel was the CEO but he supposed the boy didn’t really know what that could entail. He nodded somberly and stepped closer to Dean for some reason.

"I suppose so. I’m lucky, though." He smiled when Dean looked confusedly up at him. "I have good people working under me to make my job easier."

"I think they’re lucky to have you too." Dean stated and he smiled in a way that seemed almost serene. The moment stretched out and Castiel thought that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so far-fetched to believe that Dean could like him too.

The moment was broken before he could embarrass himself (by, say, kissing Dean) and he thanked the rowdy group that entered the lobby just as an elevator dinged to signal its arrival.

Dean laughed at the men and women behind them. "Should we hold the door?" he asked with a grin when they had entered the elevator.

Castiel just pressed the number for the Economics floor. "Hell no. I’m the CEO, I’m entitled."

Dean barked out a laugh at Castiel’s fake haughtiness and Castiel couldn’t stop himself from smiling either. Being alone with Dean in the small elevator was delicious torture, though, and he was happy that the ride was short. The day they had gone out to get Dean a suit Dean had also picked up some aftershave and cologne and he frankly smelled too good to be true.

When they stepped off on the Economics floor they were immediately swallowed up in the throng of people already there. They had come a bit late to the party because Castiel absolutely refused to be early and get caught in having to small talk with people he barely knew. Dean had laughed at him but the boy had looked relieved when he had thought Castiel hadn’t been looking. And why wouldn’t he? Dean only knew Castiel and Sam and Sam had had to go last week because of his work schedule.

Castiel just hoped they wouldn’t get stuck having to converse with Naomi.

  


*************

  


They totally ended up stuck with Naomi all through dinner. Dean spent most of it sniggering at how Castiel’s answers got shorter and snappier as Naomi spent it complaining about how much this party had cost them. Them, the office that had literally made billions in profit for the main office. But God forbid they would throw the little people some crumbs. This was why Castiel usually didn’t hang out with people who had been born into privilege. So far Balthazar was the only real exception and even he could be smarmy sometimes.

Speaking of which, Balthazar hadn’t approached them during dinner but he had been throwing Castiel glances over the table. Castiel had seen that Dean had noticed but the boy hadn’t commented on it ( _maybe_ because he couldn’t get a word in edgewise, _Naomi_ ).

Balthazar, on his part, had taken one look at Dean, made huge eyes, and then turned up the smolder. If Castiel hadn’t already admitted that he was interested in Dean then Castiel was sure his friend would have puffed some mouth freshener in and slithered over to Dean’s side a long time ago. Thankfully, Balthazar was a good friend so he had kept his flirtatious eyes solely on Castiel (which, to be frank, made Castiel a little uncomfortable considering he saw Balthazar as a good friend and nothing more but he told himself it was for a good cause).

After dinner (and dessert, of which Dean ate almost as much as he had dinner), there would be mingling and drinks and of course live music and dancing. This was usually when Castiel ducked out and went home to his peace and quiet but this year he actually found that he wanted to stay.

His happy mood evaporated somewhat when Balthazar sidled up to him after Dean had gone to get them drinks.

"Hey darling." Balthazar greeted with mirth and Castiel looked around himself for a sight of Dean.

"Balthazar, I don’t know if this is such a great idea."

"Changing your mind now?" Balthazar put a hand on Castiel’s arm and squeezed a little too hard. "Not after I eye-fucked you so hard I totally missed my chances of getting laid tonight."

Castiel frowned. "That’s just another reason not to do this. I’m having a good time with Dean _and_ I don’t want any uncomfortable rumors spreading about you and me around the office."

"Please, Cassie." Balthazar scoffed. "You’re young, handsome, and successful but despite that this is the first time you’ve brought someone to one of these Christmas parties. There are already rumors."

"I… what?"

But too late, of course, because there was Dean, carrying two glasses of punch and frowning a little at Balthazar.

"Well, hello there." Balthazar greeted and Castiel took one of the glasses so Dean could shake his hand. "Cassie told me he was bringing a friend, I suppose that’s you. I’m Balthazar, I’m head of the PR department." He said it with such a flourish and Castiel knew Balthazar wouldn’t have tried to put Dean down normally. This was because Castiel had agreed that Balthazar should act interested in him and he was regretting it now because it was clearly upsetting Dean.

"I’m Dean." The boy answered in a carefully leveled tone. "I live with Cas."

Castiel felt Balthazar’s hand on his arm tighten and looking at his friend he could see that Balthazar was amused by the challenge in Dean’s tone.

"Is that so?" Balthazar answered calmly. Castiel sipped his punch (a bit too loudly). "Yes, well Cassie mentioned something about letting a friend stay with him as well."

"Seems Cas mentions a whole lot to you."

Castiel swallowed at Dean’s tone and wondered why he let this charade go on.

 _Because I want to know_ , he thought to himself, dismally. _Because I am a coward._

"Well," Balthazar chuckled and leaned closer to Castiel, his nose almost brushing Castiel’s trimmed scuff. "We have known each other for a _long_ time."

Castiel could see how Dean’s grip on his glass tightened. "Is that so?"

"Truly." Balthazar grinned and now there was a challenge in his eyes. "So how long have you known each other, hm?"

This was going too far. "Balth…"

"Long enough." Dean bit out, interrupting Castiel and Castiel swallowed at how aroused he felt when he heard the authority in Dean’s tone. He could feel Balthazar’s fingers trembling and knew his friend had heard (and liked) it too.

"Long enough is good." Balthazar conceded and it was as if they were speaking another language entirely. One that Castiel wasn’t privy to. "But _how much_ of him do you know, Dean?" Balthazar suddenly snaked a hand around Castiel’s waist and Castiel was so unprepared that he stumbled into his friend’s embrace. "Because I know _all_ of him."

Dean looked like he was about to throw his glass on the floor but the second before Castiel could interrupt this farce Dean’s face closed off.

"Good for you." He spat and then promptly stomped off.

"Dean."

The boy didn’t even turn his head to answer. "I’m taking a piss."

"You’re…" Castiel felt hopeless to let the boy disappear through the throng of people. "Going the wrong way."

They stood in silence for a moment and Castiel absolutely refused to acknowledge that his hand was trembling around the glass Dean had brought him.

"Well, shit."

Castiel whirled around and only very narrowly avoided throwing his punch in Balthazar’s stupid face.

"‘Well shit’." He echoed in a seething tone. "That’s your eloquent response?"

Balthazar took a step back and held up his hands in defense. Castiel was just glad that the music was loud enough and that the three of them had looked boring enough not to attract attention from the rest of the people in the room.

"I didn’t know he would react like that, I swear. I didn’t mean to make him angry like this."

"What do you mean ‘like this’?" Castiel gritted. "You were supposed to make him jealous, not angry."

"Yes, but he was so challenging from the get-go, didn’t you feel it? I was just pacing myself to him. I thought it would end up with him tearing you from me and stomping off _with_ you."

"This whole endeavor was pointless." Castiel said miserably and drained the last of his punch. "The only thing we managed to accomplish was making Dean dislike you. At this point it’s just as likely that he’s interested in me as the possibility that he’s homophobic."

Oh God, please don’t let Dean be a homophobe. Castiel was so in love with the boy and while he could handle it if Dean simply didn’t love him back the same way, he knew he would break if the boy ended up hating him for his sexual preferences.

"He’s not homophobic." Balthazar stated with determination. "He’s either in love with you and handles jealousy differently than we thought he would or he’s straight and was just jealous of our close friendship."

"You think so? We confused him?"

Balthazar looked at Castiel with sympathy he usually didn’t like but in this moment really needed.

"Either way you have a hellish road before you now and I’m to blame, I’m sorry."

"Don’t be." Castiel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was the one who agreed and I’m the one who knows him the best. I should have known he would react with anger. I did this to us."

"Cassie." Balthazar took his arm again, this time much gentler. "Don’t berate yourself. You can explain it to Dean later. And I promise you he’s not homophobic."

"No but he might be straight and straight men don’t fall in love with other men."

"Why not?" Balthazar’s smile turned a little flirty once again. "How do you think the first gay man arose?"

Castiel couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend. "You’re impossible."

"Impossibly adorable, perhaps, but more on that later. You have a boy toy to chase after."

"Yes, I—" Castiel frowned at his friend. "Boy toy?"

"Aw come on, Cassie." Balthazar grinned widely. "He looks like a supermodel and he’s living for free in your apartment. Once you get into his pants he’s definitely your Adonis boy toy."

"There’s more to Dean than that." Castiel wanted his tone to be stern but the more he thought about Dean in his bed, answering his every beck and call, the weaker his knees grew.

"I’m sure there is but you better catch him before he shows that to someone else."

  


Castiel eventually found Dean down in the lobby, hidden away in a dark corner and clearly sulking. He looked at Castiel once before turning back to staring out through one of the big windows.

"Why aren’t you with your lover?"

 _I am now._ Such a silly thought.

"There’s nothing between me and Balthazar."

Dean snorted. "I can imagine."

"Dean." Castiel had gripped Dean’s hand before he could stop himself. "Balthazar is just flirty, I don’t… there’s never been any…"

"But there could be." Dean challenged and Castiel found that he couldn’t remain standing but had to sit in the chair beside Dean’s.

"Yes there could, I suppose. If…" he cleared his throat and was very aware that he was still holding Dean’s hand. "If you’re asking if I’m interested in men as well as women, then yes."

"I see."

There was a lump growing in Castiel’s throat. "Not Balthazar, though."

"Okay."

"Say you believe me."

Dean cleared his throat too and stood up so that Castiel lost his grip on the boy’s hand. "I believe you." His tone sounded a bit too monotone for Castiel to completely believe him but he took what he was offered. "Can we go home now or do you have to stay?"

Castiel felt so relieved he couldn’t help but smile. "We can go."

To his relief Dean retuned the smile with a small one of his own.

  
  



	5. Growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, chapter 5! It’s time for Castiel to learn a little something about himself and also a whole lot about Dean, not necessarily in that order :D 
> 
> Also, I’m gonna stray a bit from the prompt, namely this part:  
>  _his father threw him out_  
>  You will (hopefully) understand what I mean when you read about it. I hope you can forgive me for changing what I changed, I just went with the flow! <3

  
  


Things were at times a bit strained between them for the following month and Castiel blamed no one but himself for that. Mostly it was the same but there were moments when it looked like Dean was about to say something and then he would clamp up. On days like that Dean spent his evenings in his room, doing God only knew what and Castiel was left to stew in his own misery.

Balthazar urged him to talk to Dean but Castiel was still scared, mostly that Dean would leave him but also about them trying to work something out and it not working at all. They kept close, though, and there were moments when Castiel felt it would be okay for him to lean across the couch and just kiss Dean. Felt that maybe it would be easier to do that then talk about it first.

They had at least spent a nice Christmas together and Castiel had not felt the usual guilt for not spending it with his family. Anna had called, of course, and Castiel had talked to her while Dean had frowned himself through cooking a somewhat Christmas-y dinner.

He had wanted very much for Anna to meet Dean and he thought that maybe, sometime (maybe during the summer), he would take the boy home to Pontiac and introduce him to the family. For now, he was content with having Dean to himself, though.

They had eaten well (Castiel had eaten too much chocolate), Castiel got Dean a laptop and Dean got Castiel socks and the boy was so delighted when Castiel understood (and made) a _Harry Potter_ reference that his eyes had glittered with mirth. They had lingered in the work space between their doors that night, almost as if the boy wanted to say something but in the end nothing was said and they both went to bed alone. It was only as he was climbing into bed that Castiel remembered the mistletoe that hung where they had stood and he had to wonder if Dean had been thinking about it.

Contrary to how nice and mellow Christmas had been they spent New Year’s playing drinking games with Sam who had been dumped by Sarah two days prior. The young man alternated between being angry and sad and Dean was quick to fill everyone’s glasses while Castiel cheered Sam on. They watched the ball drop on Times Square on the TV and screamed/sang along to the counting. Castiel passed out on the couch just shy of twenty minutes past twelve and when he woke up he found Dean in his bed and Sam in the bathtub for some reason no one could explain the next day.

After that Castiel had to spend a lot of time during January at the office and had to go twice to Ohio to meet with the big wigs. It was usually busy after New Year’s, and especially so now that they were half-way through the fiscal year, so he wasn’t surprised but he didn’t have to like it. Of course, before he hadn’t minded at all, now he couldn’t wait to get back home to Dean even if their relationship had shifted a bit.

Dean spent a lot of that time in the gym and the pool and his already great body was definitely taking shape (to the point where Castiel was starting to think of himself as pudgy). Castiel was really happy to see Dean fill out, though. With food and exercise he was now a far cry from the gaunt little waif Castiel had found on the streets. So that was good.

What was less good was that Dean had joined a yoga group that was utilizing the yoga facilities beside JeffJack’s gym. It was a class taught by a Lisa Braeden, especially suited for the tenants of the building and even though Castiel never in his life would try yoga he had definitely looked twice at that instructor. To say that he didn’t want Dean around her was an understatement. Balthazar said he was being silly and kind of a sexist asshole (Hannah had heard that last part and she had looked angrily at Balthazar but Castiel couldn’t fathom why when he knew his friend was right).

Dean was young and good-looking, Lisa was probably around Castiel’s age but also very good-looking. Castiel gritted his teeth when he imagined their perfect children prancing about. Dean also befriended the concierge that had helped them (Benny) but Castiel was less concerned about that because that was just the kind of asshole he apparently was nowadays.

Anyway, despite attractive people introducing themselves into Dean’s life the boy stubbornly stuck with Castiel and thank God for small mercies. Deep down Castiel was very happy for Dean for being able to grow and glow and make friends but even _deeper_ down Castiel was jealous as hell and wanted to tie Dean to his bed and make him beg for Castiel’s fat cock. Normal things like that.

At this point he was just happy his mood hadn’t affected his work…

  


Dean’s birthday didn’t sneak up on them by any means but Castiel deliberately didn’t plan anything. Instead he wanted Dean to have whatever he wanted and since Dean’s birthday happened to fall on a Saturday, Castiel even took the Friday before it off so they could spend it together.

Dean actually treated that as if that was his present and it made Castiel blush with how happy Dean got when he woke up only to find that Castiel was still home. They spent the Friday at the Field Museum of Natural History and even though baseball wasn’t in season they went to Wrigley Field for a look anyway. It was difficult to tell if Dean was more excited by the baseball field or the dinosaur fossils.

They ate dinner at Red Hot Ranch Lakeview after they had been to Wrigley only because Castiel had been craving a really good burger for so long and because Dean lit up like the Fourth of July when Castiel told him about this craving.

They spent the evening at the apartment, eating snacks (Dean ate most of them) and replaying _Diablo III_ because it was the first game Castiel had bought Dean and it felt nostalgic. Plus it was fun, Castiel liked the beginning the best anyway.

As Castiel was returning to the couch after a bathroom break he noticed the time and couldn’t help but smile when he saw that it was already half past twelve. He sat down beside Dean (who took entirely too long to choose between his character’s new skills, this was definitely a trait he had picked up from Sam) and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

"Well then, congratulations on your eighteenth birthday." He grinned when Dean looked confusedly at him before turning and looking at the big clock that hang in the kitchen.

"Shit." Dean laughed and swiped his hand over his mouth. "I was having so much fun I forgot about it."

That made Castiel dangerously warm inside and he squeezed Dean’s shoulder once before letting go.

"Well, now that it’s officially your birthday I have to admit that I haven’t gotten you a present because I wanted you to choose. So," he smiled at Dean’s surprised face. "What would you like for your birthday?"

"Cas no, enough already. You spoil me."

"Yes, and it makes me very happy to do so. Now tell me."

Dean leaned back with an amused sigh. "I want a high school degree. I wanna be reinstated in society, put this down as my home address, and get a job. I want to get a driver’s license and a car. I wanna be someone."

Castiel looked on with soft eyes at how Dean’s smile turned more and more wistful the more he spoke of his wishes.

"I can’t give you all of that." He mumbled after a while when Dean had just been staring down at the PS4 controller in his hands. "But I can help you with some and I will." Feeling brave in the moment he brushed his fingers through Dean’s hair and the boy turned to look at him with big eyes. "Smile for me and I will do anything for you, Dean." He all but whispered. "Tell me what you want to do."

It wasn’t even a sexual innuendo, he meant it quite literally and Dean seemed to get that.

With a new sigh (this one not at all amused) Dean bent forward and put his controlled on the table beside Castiel’s.

"I’m eighteen now, right?" he nodded when Castiel did. "So I’m a legal adult, I don’t have to go back there even if you don’t want me?"

"Go back where?" Castiel frowned at Dean’s determined eyes and thought he understood. "You are by all purposes free to do whatever you want now, Dean. No one can make you do anything anymore."

Dean breathed out as if he had been holding his breath. "Great. Then I want to tell you why I ended up living on the streets of Chicago."

Castiel felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. He wanted to know and at the same time he didn’t want to know. Wanted Dean to feel safe and always stay here and wanted the boy to spread his wings and fly. Wanted desperately to hear that Dean had run away from home because his parents hadn’t given him what he wanted for his birthday because if it was something worse (oh God, it was going to be worse) then Castiel didn’t know if he would be able to take it. It was a long time since he had felt this vulnerable and it was as unwelcomed as it was surprising.

Dean was looking expectantly but also apprehensively at him and Castiel realized the boy was anxious to see Castiel’s reaction.

 _He thinks I might cast him out because of the reasons_ , he thought suddenly and no, that would never happen and he needed to let Dean know.

So he reached over and squeezed Dean’s shoulder again, more reassuringly this time.

"Only if you want to tell me, Dean. It won’t color how I look at you."

"It might."

"I will never throw you away, Dean. You are very precious to me." He wished he could just say exactly how he felt but for the moment it didn’t look like he needed to. Dean nodded as if he understood and accepted Castiel’s words at face value.

"Okay." He nodded and then almost curled in on himself on his end of the couch. "Okay."

They sat in silence for a long while, the sounds of the game tinny in the background. Castiel waited patiently and with baited breath all at the same time and when the PS4 prompted them to either play or let it go into sleep mode Castiel reached over and turned it off. The living room was suddenly washed in darkness as the only light had been the TV and a few spotlights over the sink behind them. Castiel thought it might be fitting, though, and that it would be easier for Dean to hide while he spoke of obviously haunting memories.

He was just about to ask if Dean wanted something to drink and that was when the boy started talking.

"I was little when my parents died. Around three or four I think but I don’t remember and there isn’t really any way for me to confirm it. I was little, though. Mom was pregnant and the doctor had told my parents that it was going to be a boy. I was going to be a big brother and I was very proud of that. Then they died." Dean curled in on himself even more and Castiel wanted to reach out for him but didn’t know if he was allowed or would be welcomed. He didn’t like the monotone voice Dean spoke in but recognized the need for it.

"It was a house fire." Dean continued, his eyes fixed on something on the far end of the room. "Don’t ask me the reason because I don’t know that either but something caught fire while we were sleeping. I remember mom waking me and I started crying because she was so forceful. ‘You have to run, Dean’, she told me." He smiled down at his knees and Castiel could see his lower lip trembling. "That was the last thing I heard her say. I just got up and ran for it, I didn’t know why or where and there was smoke everywhere but I managed to get out."

Castiel had slid over so he could sit facing Dean properly and lean his head against his hand, propped up by his elbow on the couch’s back. Dean was sitting in a little ball, pressed against the armrest, and with his side to Castiel.

"I ran all the way across the street to Mrs. Mosely. She was this elderly lady that babysat me sometimes. She helped out in the garden too, I think my parents just liked her a lot and so did I. She smelled of flowers and cookies, even in the middle of the night." Dean pulled his knees up and rested his forehead against them. It made his voice a little muffled but it was still the only sound in the apartment and easy to pick out.

"I stayed with her through it all, watched from her living room window how my home burned to the ground. Later I heard a fireman explaining to Mrs. Mosely that mom most likely had gone looking for dad and that she had found him asleep in front of the TV. They died of smoke inhalation." Dean’s shoulders shook slightly but it didn’t sound as if he was crying. Not yet.

"I didn’t know what that meant and I kept waiting for them. I mean, eventually I kind of understood and I was lucky to have Mrs. Mosely then. After, she fought for almost two years to get custody over me. I spent most of that time with her but some of the time I had to sleep in an orphanage or something. I don’t know what it was but I hated it, I wanted to go back to Mrs. Mosely." Dean raised his head and wiped angrily at tears that had fallen silently. Castiel’s heart ached for the boy.

"In the end CPS took me, I was so mad and it got even worse when I saw Mrs. Mosely cry for the first time. It was almost three years later that I found out that she had had terminal cancer. She died like six months after I had been taken from her."

"That was why they didn’t let her have you." Castiel mumbled, feeling humbled before the immense decision those social workers must have stood before.

Dean nodded. "Yeah and I get it, you know? But it still hurts. She was the last connection I had to my family."

"Relatives?"

Dean shook his head this time. "I don’t know. I suppose not because when Mrs. Mosely lost me I was immediately put into the system. Orphanage and foster care. Wherever and whenever, but no one wanted a kid my age. By the time I was cleared to be adopted I was almost seven. There were so many years, Cas." Dean looked haunted. "So many families that told me they would love me and that just returned me. No one wanted me."

 _I want you_ , Castiel wanted to scream but recognized how inappropriate that would be.

"You are not unlovable, Dean." He stated gravelly but Dean just returned a broken smile.

"I was eleven when Alastair and Lilith picked me up. They told me that as well but looking back it didn’t comfort me even when I didn’t know." He buried his face against his knees again and Castiel’s breath lodged in his throat. "Alastair wanted me to call him ‘daddy’ and Lilith never wanted to be anyone else but ‘Ms. Lilith’ to me. I learned fast enough."

"Dean, what did they do?" Castiel’s voice was laced with his anger but Dean either didn’t hear it or knew it wasn’t directed at him.

"Daddy liked to cut me." He started in a whisper. "He had sharp knives and scalpels and he tied me to a table and cut me for hours."

"But… I’ve seen you naked." Castiel was so angry he could hardly breathe.

"Never enough to scar." Dean stated as if he was reciting something and Castiel realized that he probably was. "Never deep enough to leave something that could be seen. Only scraping, scraping until I was stinging all over and my flesh was pink. Once in a while he drew blood but those would heal within days, daddy was always kind like that." Dean was rocking and Castiel was shaking with indecision. Make Dean stop talking or let him finish? Hold the boy or back off?

"I have three scars, though." Dean continued in a low tone. "Three times when daddy got too excited and forgot to remove the knife from my skin. One on my hip, one behind my ear, and one on my butt. I hate the one on my butt the most because when daddy came it splashed against the cut and it stung even worse. I got some of him in me, I’m tainted by daddy."

Dean was starting to sound more angry than sad now, spitting out the words, and that was good, Castiel thought.

"He cut you because it aroused him?"

This time when Dean looked up there were no tears in his eyes but instead a deep-seated fury streaked across his handsome face.

"The fucker always masturbated while he cut me. Sometimes he came more than once, it was disgusting and he always made me look."

Castiel swallowed over a lump, his anger having transferred into sadness now that Dean was appropriately and righteously angry at the abuse.

"That… Ms. Lilith?" _Someone_ had to have had the opportunity to do _something_ , please God.

Dean looked to the side, his shoulders slumping. "For the first few months of high school I started feeling better." He mumbled against his arm. "I hadn’t had many friends in middle school because I was new to town and because of that shithead’s cutting I was afraid to get close to people. The boys seemed kinda rowdy and my skin was always rubbed raw from the knives. Plus, it kinda hurt to be out in the sun, which was a bitch during the summers. Eventually the kids stopped inviting me, you know?" he sighed and Castiel pressed his lips together. Where were the social workers? They should have done regular checkups and why didn’t someone notice Dean’s abnormal skin? A teacher, another parent, someone.

"It was different with high school, mainly because we transferred schools so everyone was kinda new, but also because I told myself that it would be better. I could make friends and just blame my pink and raw skin on some kind of skin disorder. And it worked, for a few months. Then daddy and Ms. Lilith plucked me right out of school, told them I would be homeschooled and locked me up in the recreation room in the basement. I didn’t understand at all at first, and I really believed them about the homeschooling." Dean’s eyed darkened. "It took me about a month to figure out that they were just jealous, manipulative bastards."

Castiel drew a breath that wasn’t quite a gasp but near enough. "They thought if you made friends you would get away from them."

Dean nodded slowly, still staring off into space. "I was fifteen the first time Ms. Lilith had sex with me. I didn’t particularly want to but my body was adolescent and she was very beautiful. She rode me and daddy watched. It became a regular thing after that. Daddy would cut me on some days but not if Ms. Lilith wanted me to fuck her. Mostly she wanted to ride me and that chafed too much and she didn’t like it when I whimpered in pain. Pain was daddy’s thing."

Castiel felt as if he was paralyzed. "They… cut you with _knives_ and _raped_ you and _no one_ did anything?"

Dean shrugged as if he was trying to be (or feel) nonchalant. "No one knew. Ms. Lilith was very clear to tell me this. The school thought I was homeschooled, the neighbors thought I had gone back to the orphanage, the social workers thought everything was fine. And my friends didn’t miss me because I had never had any friends to begin with. Why would anyone want to be friends with me?"

"Dean…" Castiel breathed but Dean didn’t seem to hear him.

"I just kept waiting for it to end. I just thought that if I turned eighteen I would be free but that all changed when I overheard a discussion they had while they thought I was sleeping. They talked about building another room in the basement, secure it better because daddy expected me to grow big and strong. When I grew older, he said, Ms. Lilith wouldn’t be able to hold me down anymore. That was when I realized it would never end; they meant to keep me as an animal." He looked at Castiel with eyes that seemed to glow in the near-darkness.

"So I decided to run away. Alastair worked during the days and Lilith was often out shopping. They hadn’t really started tying me up yet, too reliant on me being too weak to fight back but I was getting angry, Cas."

"Righteously so."

"It wasn’t hard to get out of the recreational room, the door was locked but it was still only a wooden door. It took some doing but I managed to break it, kicking and hitting. I broke two chairs against it but I got out. I found some money on the kitchen counter and I lingered to steal some food out of a cupboard but that was my mistake. Both Lilith and Alastair found me just as I was getting ready to leave. They had been out grocery shopping from the sight of the bags and I realized that I didn’t know what day of the week was. Of course I had picked a day to escape when both of them would be home." He shook his head angrily.

"There was a fight. Alastair hit me but I fought back, I know Lilith got knocked out when I pushed her away from me and she hit her head on the refrigerator. Alastair screamed at me to go and never come back then and I was fine with that, it was what I wanted." He sighed and stretched out his long legs. "The money I had taken was just enough to take me to Chicago and no more. I lived down by the docks until it started getting too windy."

Castiel’s heart was fluttering in his chest. "How long ago was this?"

Dean smiled a small smile. "I ran away about a week after my seventeenth birthday, so almost a year now. I had only lived in that alley for about a week before we met."

"Dean, we need to tell someone about this."

"I’ve told you, that’s enough."

Castiel leaned forward and grabbed Dean’s arm lightly. "You’re so brave, Dean." He said in a murmur and watched how Dean curled towards him. "You were brave enough to run away but maybe the next child won’t be." It was certainly too much to ask but Dean nodded, his eyes shadowed as he ducked his head.

"I know, I’ve thought a lot about it. But I can’t, Cas. Not just yet."

Castiel nodded because holy hell, of course it was too soon and he couldn’t believe himself. Instead of saying that, though, he pulled Dean closer and (finally!) held the boy against his chest. Dean melted into the touch, body trembling slightly.

"Thank you for telling me, Dean." He praised with his lips pressed against the boy’s soft hair. "You’ve been so good to me, you deserve happiness."

"I won’t have to leave?" Dean asked in a whisper, his face smashed against Castiel’s throat. "You don’t think I’m tainted?"

"I don’t think you’re tainted." Castiel soothed his hands down Dean’s back and marveled when the boy crept even closer. Just a little more and he would be straddling Castiel’s lap. And Castiel would hold him like that as long as needed. "If you want to check your body for diseases I will take you to my personal physician but Dean," he put a hand on the back of Dean’s head, fisting the hair slightly. "Even if you’ve gotten a disease from what those two did to you it doesn’t mean you’re tainted. You will never stop shining in my eyes."

Dean’s breath hiccupped. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight? With… with you I mean?"

Castiel tightened his grip on Dean’s warm body. "Of course."

"It’s weird."

"It’s not." Castiel honestly couldn’t help himself and so he bent down to kiss the top of Dean’s head, breathing in the calming scent of the boy. "You don’t ever have to ask."

  


**************

  


Dean kind of started sleeping in Castiel’s bed from then on. Not always (thank God because Castiel had enough problems with morning wood before the object of his desires decided to sprawl out across the bed) but definitely more than what would be considered normal between friends, even under these circumstances.

Honestly, Castiel kind of needed the contact as well, after hearing about Dean’s past. Somehow, even weeks later he found himself reeling from it. They started talking a bit more openly about it, though, and about other things from Dean’s childhood (better things), almost as if the floodgates had opened and Castiel loved it. It made him want to talk to Dean about Gabriel but he thought that for now they’d best deal with one awful past at a time.

Not that Castiel thought his could compare but still, he wanted Dean to feel secure and stable enough to start thinking about going to the police to make an official statement. He had told Castiel that he had been living in Lawrence, Kansas, when the fire destroyed his life but when he eventually had ended up with Alastair and Lilith it had been in Effingham, Illinois. Castiel was unsure who would have jurisdiction to do what and he was sorely tempted to ask someone at Sandover’s legal department for a quick advice.

Then again, when he (without Dean’s knowledge) did a quick search for Alastair and Lilith in Effingham, Illinois, he came up depressingly short. It might be because they had moved or, most probably, those weren’t their real names but the names they told a frightened and miserable little eleven-year-old boy.

In any case Castiel was glad that Dean had told him. Something in their relationship had definitely shifted (again) and this time to the positive. Maybe it was Castiel’s doing for finally allowing him to not feel guilty for fantasizing about Dean, now that he was legal in every way. Or maybe it was because Dean had told Castiel all his darkest secrets and Castiel had held him tightly as they slept that night. He didn’t know and he probably shouldn’t analyze it, all he knew was that he was happy.

He would be bounds and leaps happier if he would finally man up and just confess to Dean, though, but the truth was that he was scared of that. Because not only had Dean been sexually abused as a minor but he had also stated quite clearly that he thought it had been disgusting when Alastair jerked off in front of him. Now, that certainly might be because of the abuse taking place but a mean voice in Castiel’s head held him back because that disgust might also have come from Dean not liking men at all.

Balthazar told Castiel that he was an idiot for fretting about things that he knew nothing about (granted, Balthazar didn’t know _exactly_ what Castiel was fretting about because he of course didn’t know Dean’s background) and Castiel wondered when he had started doing that since he never, ever did it normally. And thinking about it, he could definitely say that he only fretted about Dean. Balthazar called that being in love and Castiel called Balthazar nosy. He knew his friend felt bad about the Christmas party, though, so he tried not to be too hard on him (especially since that had been Castiel’s fault too).

So while he was happy he was still frustrated and his dick was definitely getting angry by this point. Castiel just wished it wouldn’t perk up every goddamn morning but it was of course difficult with Dean’s warm body beside him. He was just glad he hadn’t started humping the boy (man, now) yet.

  


Castiel could do nothing but glare at the injustice when his alarm clock went off at its usual time. This night had been horrible. He had had the worst (i.e. the best) sex dream about Dean and had had to get up in the middle of the goddamn night just to jerk off. After that he had barely been able to get back to sleep and sometime in the wee hours Dean had crept into the room and burrowed himself beside Castiel, sighing so contently one might think he hadn’t slept for two days.

Castiel had almost cried from the frustration of not being able to roll around and wrap himself around the man and he had almost done it just because. Could have blamed it on sleeping. But he was afraid of Dean tensing up. Was afraid that this meant nothing more to the young man than it did when a child climbed into its parent’s bed.

He sighed when his alarm reached a kind of hellish crescendo and only then did he slap his hand down on it before rolling around and picking up his phone, unplugging the charger. He rested back for a moment to check his work mail quickly because they were having an important meeting with a client today and a Ms. Abaddon from Ohio was coming, much to Castiel annoyance.

Scrolling through his mail he found roughly what he had expected (and one mail from Zachariah stating that he needed to be transferred to his old position on Purchasing because obviously they needed him). Castiel just mentally shook his head at most of it and really wished he could have stayed home with Dean today. And why not? Let Ms. Abaddon run the meetings like Castiel already knew she would.

Dean was starting to look into some classes he could take now that he had gone and registered as a citizen of Chicago and also listed this as his home address. Castiel would much rather talk about Dean’s educational options than go to this meeting but being the CEO had its ups and downs, he supposed.

"You know," Dean’s sleep-roughened voice was too goddamn sexy to be fair. Jesus. "You have kind of a dom-brow going on there." The young man was grinning when Castiel looked questioningly at him. "Is that what you use to get your subordinates in line?"

"Actually," Castiel had to clear the sleep out of his own throat. "They have established that I have a kind of smiting squint but I don’t see it. And I do not have a dom-brow." He didn’t even know what that was.

"If you say so." Dean smirked and rolled to his back to stretch much too languidly. Castiel’s goddamn mouth salivated at the sight of it and how the hell could that be a thing? "When do you have to go?"

Castiel glanced at the clock on his phone. "Too soon." He sighed and then immediately kicked himself because what the hell? Too soon for what to not happen? That had sounded way too implying and Dean obviously caught it too because he blinked up at Castiel for a moment before he pouted playfully. Castiel’s traitorous dick perked up because of course it did.

"Damn, no breakfast?"

"A quick one."

Dean suddenly grinned so brightly that Castiel for a moment forgot how unrealistic it was for two grown men to share a bed when there was nothing sexual going on between them. Everything just seemed simple and easy for a moment there.

"I’ll fry up some eggs, you get in the shower."

So easy, calming, and everything Castiel wanted.

  


***************

  


"Do I have a dom-brow?" Castiel straightened out the cuffs on his shirt while Balthazar turned slowly to him.

"Not right now, no." His friend answered eventually. "But you’re neither mad nor expecting something right this instant, are you?"

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

Balthazar sighed. Castiel walked calmly beside him towards the meeting room. After the initial meeting with the client, wherein contracts had been discussed and negotiated, they had stopped for lunch. The afternoon would be mostly Sandover business and Castiel expected be sitting on the sidelines for this one. Ms. Abaddon had flown in specifically for this meeting to represent the Ohio office and he was confident to let his heads of departments handle their allotted share. He had not picked these people to spearhead their individual departments for nothing.

"You know when someone is babbling and you’re waiting for a good explanation? You get kind of a dom aura then."

"I…" Castiel thought about it. "I didn’t know."

"Of course not." Balthazar snorted. "You’re not really aware of the respect you demand, that’s why it’s kinda hot. Also why you get it."

"Because I don’t know when to demand it?"

"Because you tell people with your whole demeanor that you shouldn’t have to demand it."

Castiel frowned. "That doesn’t sound like a good thing, I should work on that."

Just as they reached the conference room Inias from HR walked out, holding the door open as they passed. Castiel nodded curtly to him and Inias smiled. There, that wasn’t rude, was it?

"Don’t." Balthazar mumbled just as they seated themselves to wait for the rest of the staff to fill the big conference table.

"Don’t work on it? I sound like an asshole."

"A hot asshole." Balthazar snorted out a laugh when he heard what he had said. Castiel rolled his eyes. "Also, the Chicago office likes you like that. Now tell me where it came from?"

"Dean told me I had a dom-brow." Castiel mumbled and barely managed not to blush. Not here with all his subordinates around him. Instead he leaned back and folded his hands in his lap.

"Things moving forward, then?" Balthazar said with a genuinely happy smile.

"Maybe." Castiel conceded. "But not to where you think."

"Maybe whip out that brow and it might move wherever you want it to go."

Castiel just pressed his lips together and thought of Dean getting bossed around (raped and physically abused) by the two people who he had been supposed to be able to rely on. Castiel didn’t know if he could ever take on a dominating role in the bedroom with Dean for fear of the man having a bad flashbacks. Didn’t even know if he wanted to, even if Dean didn’t fare ill from it.

Dean was actually growing like weed right now. He was getting bulky and tall and what if he would be the one to bend Castiel over the nearest flat surface? Probably shouldn’t think about that during the meeting.

  


Just like the morning (and basically all meetings, in Castiel’s opinion), the afternoon meeting dragged on. At least in the morning he had been participating but as expected his department heads managed well without him and Ms. Abaddon seemed fine with leading the meeting and listening to one department at a time.

The break came when they were done talking about the current client and Ms. Abaddon turned to Alfie, a relatively new young man working in Sales.

"So," she squinted down at a paper in her hands. " _Alfie_ , is it?" she nodded when Alfie nodded. "Do you mind telling me about the sample batch that was sent to Northern Illinois Steel supply?"

Castiel frowned, first at the abrupt change in topic and then even more when Alfie paled considerably.

"I… um, I mean, I…" Alfie cleared his throat and Castiel gritted his teeth when the head of Sales, Raphael, looked more likely to laugh at his subordinate’s stuttering than to help him. "I didn’t mean to."

"You didn’t mean to send a sample of our new and barely tested product, especially made for a client base only, to one of our competitors? It was an accident?"

It was bad PR, leakage of company secrets, and downright sloppy work was what it was. It was also not something Castiel was aware of having happened.

As Ms. Abaddon cut Alfie’s blubbering short by lecturing him, Castiel turned angry eyes on Raphael. The man shrunk back the moment his eyes met Castiel’s and Castiel held his gaze just long enough to establish dominance. With that he rose to his feet, buttoning his jacket and attracting everyone’s gazes. With a kind of thrilled wave he realized in that moment (looking at the pink tinted cheeks of some of his employees) that he might just have a dom-brow after all because everyone sure as hell both shut up and cowered.

Everyone but Ms. Abaddon who merely leaned back in her chair and raised her own eyebrow and oh, that might be how he looked. Now he got it.

"Mr. Novak."

"Ms. Abaddon." They had never really liked each other, that was probably clear to the whole room right now. "Matters scheduled to be addressed today have been dealt with and the agenda for today’s meeting hardly included bashing my staff. If you have nothing more to add that will be in relevance to our imminent purchase then I suggest we end this meeting on a high note."

Ms. Abaddon licked her lips once, her eyes boring into his. "Very well, Mr. Novak. But I do suggest you get your staff under control."

"The incident has been dealt with."

She clicked her pen sharply once before tossing it on the table. "Dismissed."

Castiel squinted so hard at her for being dismissed in his own office building that he almost lost balance. She grinned predatorily at him as the rest of the staff hurried to shuffle out.

"A word in my office?" he wasn’t really asking. Ms. Abaddon had seniority but not authority over him and even so he had given up his seat at the head of the table for her. That she had gone and undermined him like this quite frankly angered him.

Her grin grew and she sashayed out of there while he remained to grab Raphael’s arm just as the man was passing.

"Do _not_ embarrass me again, Raphael." He snarled and the man looked appropriately subdued. "You only get one strike with me."

"It _is_ dealt with. I didn’t think you needed to know."

"I am the CEO." Castiel all but pushed the other man away from him as he stepped out of the room. "I need to know everything."

  


Suffice to say that when Castiel eventually (and very late) came home he was beat and wanted nothing more than to faceplant against his pillow. Having had to deal with whatever the fallout could have been (and had been, according to Crowley when Castiel called him in to help) from Alfie’s mistake, coupled with Ms. Abaddon’s frankly disgusting bullying methods (not to mention that she had tried to seduce him, which no, just no) had left him with a headache and a grumpy mood.

What met him when he got home wasn’t an empty and dark apartment, though. But one lit by the comfortable orange hues from the table lamps and smelling of apple pie.

"I made it." Dean announced shyly when all Castiel could do was stare dumbly. "I knew you would have a long day, I thought I’d surprise you and…" he bit his lower lip as if he didn’t know how that made Castiel’s whole body light up. "Mrs. Mosely used to make me apple pie."

"I…" _love you_. "Love it. I love apple pie."

Dean smiled with his whole being. "Me too."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the browiness! XD  
> 


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to all the readers living in/near Effingham! It wasn’t an arbitraty choice so it’s fun to hear from you people, although I’m sorry I associated it with something bad :P
> 
> Okay, so I’ve included a pic I drew for this chapter and it’s (as the tag states) really NFSW. If you prefer not to look at poorly draw nudes I would advice you to scroll past it. You won’t miss anything if you skip it since the drawing only shows what the text already tells you :)
> 
> And strap in, folks, because there’s _a lot_ happening in this chapter  <3

 

"Your secretary is in love with you, you know."

Castiel glanced up at Dean where he sat in one of the visitor chairs in front of Castiel’s desk. He was just finishing up the last of his work so they could go to lunch together.

"That’s preposterous."

"Is it?" Dean grinned mischievously. "She has a picture of you in her desk drawer."

"She does not." Castiel locked his computer, very certain that he wouldn’t be able to finish anything while Dean was in his office. Goddamnit, all he could think about was fucking the boy raw over his desk. "And stop rummaging around in people’s things."

"I’m gonna hold your hand when we get out of here and you watch her reaction."

Castiel had to fight a blush at that. Whatever there was between the two of them it was growing stronger, Castiel could feel it like a tangible thing and he knew he wasn’t making it up because even Sam had asked him about it. Had asked in a kind of school boy way, one boy asking his friend about that new girl kind of way.

And while Castiel appreciated Sam’s support he had had to answer that no there wasn’t anything between him and Dean because even though Dean’s eighteenth birthday had passed almost two months ago and the boy still slept in Castiel’s bed some nights (Castiel didn’t tell Sam any of that), nothing had evolved because Castiel was simply too scared to rock the boat. Sam had told him to rock it and rock it hard and Castiel had just been glad that Balthazar hadn’t been there to hear it because he had been saying the same thing for a while now and Castiel was starting to think he was an idiot for not taking the advice.

But some things were still tender. Dean had been talking about actually doing something about his past abusers but so far it had been mostly talk and Castiel understood why. At least the STD and VD tests had come back negative.

"You will not." Castiel stated clearly but Dean only grinned at him. "It would be a cruel joke to play on her if she did happen to harbor feelings other than respect for me."

"Yeah." Dean said, his tone suddenly not so joking anymore. "What a joke, huh?" before Castiel had time to figure out what that meant, the other man had jumped out of his chair and started for the door. "So you’re done? Can we go to Giordano’s?"

As always, Castiel was unable to deny Dean. "Whatever you want, Dean."

  


****************

  


The shower water was warm as it cascaded down Castiel’s back. He took a moment to just stand there with his head bowed and letting his hair get soaked. The last couple of weeks had been hectic with Sandover spear-heading a fundraiser for underprivileged children in developing countries. They were hoping to build a children’s hospital and with the money they had managed to gather Castiel thought maybe the dream would be become reality. The problem would of course be to keep the hospital running even after it had been built but one step at a time.

The fundraiser had been Balthazar’s idea as a part of a covert PR stunt and if that had been all there had been to it Castiel would have said no. But Balthazar had done his research, shown first Castiel and then the Ohio office the numbers and once they started the campaign it had been easy to gain followers amongst the elite. Castiel had been happiest to see many celebrities joining in because that always attracted the public’s eye.

This fundraising had been going strong for almost as year (according to Balthazar’s initial plans it should have been finished by Christmas last year but as with all things introduced to the corporate big-wigs things had gotten out of their hands). It was coming to a close now, though, and Castiel had taken a lot of time to work with it, putting in many unpaid hours and he was _exhausted_.

The only thing that made him think it was worth it was the thought of all those children and, not wholly surprising, Dean’s face when Castiel first told him about this. The young man had been so impressed and so enthusiastic (and awed? Castiel wanted to say awed) that he had actually hugged Castiel and not such a small hug either.

And when Castiel had explained about his upcoming overtime Dean had taken it upon himself to surprise Castiel almost every night with a new treat. Food, dessert, Castiel’s favorite TV-shows, a few times a new book. Castiel had never felt so pampered in his life and even though he was exhausted by all the work he barely wanted it to end because he loved being the focus of Dean’s gentle encouragements.

As Castiel started to scrub his body his mind conjured up images of Dean’s happy smiles and green eyes and goddamnit, Castiel just wanted to kiss him so badly. Yes, he was happy for everything Dean did for him in the evenings but what he really wanted the most was to get a kiss when he walked through the door.

Dean was so handsome and kind and Castiel couldn’t believe anyone had ever wanted to hurt him. When he thought about Dean’s background he almost choked up. It was like something he might have seen in a movie, he couldn’t believe someone would actually treat someone else (let alone a child!) like that.

Dean seemed to feel better after he had revealed his secrets to Castiel and Castiel thought that that was partly because he had felt the acceptance from Castiel, because he felt safe enough that he wouldn’t be thrown out or hated. He seemed willing (and almost begging) to move on and forget about it. Castiel, on the other hand, wanted to find those people who had done that to Dean and drag them down to Hell. He hadn’t told Dean about that, though, because he was rather certain the young man wouldn’t want anything to do with the pair that had hurt him for years.

Castiel was just glad that Dean didn’t seem to be suffering from PTSD or something like that and that he had agreed to call the CPS agency to tell them what had happened. It was true that Dean would still sneak into Castiel’s bed sometimes but only once did Castiel hear him whimper pitifully in his sleep so it didn’t seem like he had recurring nightmares or other night pains.

In fact, the more frequently it happened, the more Castiel started to think that Dean was just using it as an excuse to sleep in Castiel’s bed. That could, of course, be wishful thinking (plus, Castiel’s bed was more comfortable than Dean’s) but the truth was that other than that first time, Dean didn’t seem very upset when asked about his childhood and he readily shared the better moments with Castiel now.

Castiel, for his part, both loved and hated that Dean slept beside him. Of course he loved the intimacy and how his bed smelled of Dean, but he also hated that Dean slept _beside_ him and not _with_ him. A subtle difference except not really. A rather substantial different, if you asked Castiel’s poor dick.

Worst (or best!) were the days such as this morning, when Castiel had woken up before Dean and found that the man was sporting a sizable morning wood. He hadn’t been able to actually see Dean’s dick, of course, since Dean actually slept in his boxer-briefs nowadays (or at least when he was in Castiel’s bed) but it had been hard and big enough that it was very visible anyway.

Suffice to say that Castiel had almost fainted when all his blood rushed to his own dick. Damn, he knew he was perky in the morning but that had _hurt_. So now here he was, letting the water soothe away his aches and the clean scent of soap dancing around him as he thought about the fundraiser and _not Dean’s dick_.

Except of course he thought about Dean’s dick and holy hell, he wanted it so much. Had frankly just wanted to bend down and mouth at it through Dean’s tight ( _so_ tight) boxer-briefs.

His own dick gave a twitch at the thought and he sighed to himself, finally admitting that of course he needed to jerk off. Just as he let his inhibitions go, he let his imagination run free and images of Dean’s naked body flooded him.

Groaning he turned to lean his shoulders back against the tiled wall while his other hand went up his chest to flick at his nipples. A single touch rendered him breathless (because he was just _that_ wound up nowadays) and he widened his stance even as he sped up his hand on his dick.

His foreskin rolled smoothly, aided by water and precome and the slick feeling made him bite his teeth against another groan. Granted, Dean had been asleep when Castiel had gone into the bathroom but still. It wasn’t like he wanted the young man to burst in here right now and spot Castiel in such a state…

"Fuck." He hissed when his balls tightened at the image of Dean’s wide eyes.

What would Dean do? He was still smaller than Castiel but with all those hours logged at the gym he was probably stronger. Might be that he could push Castiel up against the wall and fuck him. Castiel had mostly topped in his relationships with other men but he had also bottomed enough to consider himself a switch. With Dean, he had always imagined pushing the young man down and having his way with him but he had to admit to himself in this moment that it wouldn’t feel bad to be pushed down by Dean instead.

His breath hitched as another pleasured spike went through him. Maybe Dean would be a switch too? Castiel wanted so very much to be buried inside that bubbled butt but considering what Dean inadvertently had flashed him this morning Castiel wouldn’t be opposed to getting rammed by the young man.

Just thinking about it had him sucking two fingers into his mouth real quick before he bent at an angle to be able to finger his hole. It had been a long time since he had done that and he couldn’t help but moan at the sensation. His dick quivered in his hand and he settled comfortably with only fingering himself slightly as he quickly stripped himself to completion.

He came with a ragged breath stuttering out of him and the image of Dean’s pleased grin flashing before his eyes.

  


*****************

  


"So Sandover is hosting a gala together with the other participants in the fundraiser." Castiel was _not_ nervous, but he was having trouble opening the soy package that came complimentary with their Chinese food. "It’s next Friday."

"Okay, cool." Dean looked like a chipmunk with his cheeks full with food like that.

"Swallow, then speak." Castiel chastised (much too lovingly) and poked at Dean’s cheek. "Anyway, we’re probably expected to bring dates. Balthazar says it’s good publicity."

Dean swallowed dutifully and smacked his lips just to prove it, which made Castiel snort out a laugh.

"He’s probably right."

"So you’ll come?"

Dean’s face scrunched up in confusion and Castiel’s heart was hammering like a frightened little bird trapped in a cage.

"Me? I dunno if that would be such a good idea."

"Why not?" he was trying really hard not to sound too pushy but he really wanted Dean with him at the gala. Just imagining Dean in that maroon suit he had spotted on his way to work yesterday was incentive enough. Plus he imagined the gala would be a bit boring to him and Dean brightened every experience for Castiel. "People have asked about you since the Christmas party."

"That’s exactly my point." Dean muttered down at his food. Castiel frowned but didn’t have time to say anything before Dean continued. "Look, I made a fool of myself and therefore you. An office Christmas party is one thing but a gala would be a much bigger thing, wouldn’t it?"

"If this is about Balthazar I told you he’s sorry and there’s nothing between us, Dean."

Dean huffed but offered up a smile anyway. "It’s not about him drooling all over you, I’ve been to your office and he isn’t the only one. But," he held up a finger when Castiel opened his mouth to protest these ridiculous accusations. "Since you seem completely oblivious to their stares it doesn’t really matter. I just don’t wanna go to the gala because I’ve never been to one and I’ll end up embarrassing you."

"You could never." The mere thought was insane to Castiel but Dean shook his head at the protest.

"I dunno, and also, isn’t it going to be a bit boring?"

"Certainly but the food will be good." He knew he sounded desperate but he really wanted Dean to go with him (and maybe a part of him wanted Dean to want to make Castiel happy by going even if he knew it would be boring. Wanted Dean to want to sacrifice himself for Castiel a little).

"I eat fine at home." He grinned. "C’mon, we both know galas and stuff are more up your alley. You go and have fun and I’ll entertain myself."

Well, what could Castiel say to that? He was out of arguments (except for perhaps, "I can’t stand to be away from you") and Dean clearly didn’t want to go.

"If you say so." He mumbled and turned to carry his food over to the living room so they could watch TV while they ate, feeling dejected and actually not hungry at all.

 

The following week continued on a kind low note for Castiel but he did his best to hide that from Dean, who seemed as oblivious as he claimed Castiel was about his employees’ apparent crushes on him.

When the evening of the gala arrived, Dean spent most of it helping Castiel getting ready and then all but ushered him out of the apartment. He claimed it was because he didn’t want Castiel to be late but Castiel couldn’t help but feel as if Dean wanted him out of the apartment for some other reason.

 _Maybe he’s calling a girlfriend over_ , a mean voice inside him said snidely. _Maybe Lisa._ Castiel didn’t want to listen to such nonsense.

Yes, Dean had been going out more and meeting a lot of people. He had started taking courses and studying for a driver’s license, for one. But that didn’t mean he would up and get himself a girlfriend first thing, and without telling Castiel. Or Sam, for that matter. Sam had definitely become one of Dean’s best friends and the young man had mentioned nothing of the sort to Castiel. Not that they were a bunch of gossiping high school girls but still…

It was a notion that taunted Castiel, though. Because for all he had heard about Dean’s background by now he had yet to hear about sexual escapades other than the horrific ones provided by his stepparents. And in those Dean had only had sex with a woman and been disgusted by a man so, looking objectively at it (and not with, say, a mind that wanted to rip their throats out for doing that to Dean) Dean was most likely straight, right? Castiel didn’t want to talk about it.

Simply because Balthazar had insisted on how horribly bad it would look for the CEO of one of Sandover’s most successful offices to come without a date on his arm he had let his friend fix him up with someone. That that someone had ended up being a supermodel had _not_ been part of the plan.

Castiel had almost balked when he had seen her because she was clearly only there for the good publicity but, as Balthazar so eloquently put it: _"Aren’t we all, love?"_

So Castiel had sighed and offered his arm to the (admittedly very beautiful) woman and okay, he had to admit that the rest of the gala went pretty well. Even though he spent most of it wishing lower level staff also had been invited because then he could have spent the time conversing with Sam instead of his clearly uninterested date.

The again, the press might have interpreted that as him and Sam having some kind of liaison (because press was stupid like that sometimes, he had learnt the hard way) and he knew Sam was in the midst of wooing a new woman. He had sniggered to himself when he had thought of how that might have been misconstrued.

Nevertheless he was happy to go home and he was pleasantly surprised to see that Dean was still awake and waiting for him even though it was very late by now. That pleasant feeling didn’t last long when he took in Dean’s scowl, though.

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing." Dean answered in a tone far too nonchalant. He got up from the couch and stood silently watching Castiel as he took off his trench coat. "Did you have fun?"

"It was okay." He smiled at Dean, though internally he still questioned why Dean was being so curt. "It would have been better with you there, though."

"Is that so?"

Castiel frowned in confusion and walked past the younger man, removing his cufflinks. "It is. I told you I wanted you to come."

"Because it seems to me," Dean continued as if Castiel hadn’t spoken at all and Castiel stopped to turn to the man, only now seeing how hunched in Dean looked with his arms wrapped around himself like that. "That you had a mighty good time all on your own."

"Dean…?"

"Oh no, hang on," Dean’s gaze felt challenging enough to make Castiel’s heart thump harder. "You weren’t alone at all. You had a nifty little date there, hadn’t you? With a _supermodel_."

Castiel’s first response was, to be honest, moronic. "How did you know that?" as if he had cheated on Dean or something.

Dean got straight up in Castiel’s face. "Didn’t you see all those cameras, Cas? Huh? Didn’t you think a gala like this _wouldn’t_ be covered by the news?"

Of course Castiel had known that but he hadn’t reflected on it because why would he? And why had Dean been watching the news, he never did that (to Castiel’s previous knowledge).

"I… she was…" he cleared his throat, unsure why he felt so bad about this. He had asked Dean to come and the young man had said no. Besides, other than him being in love with Dean there was nothing between them but friendship, right? "Balthazar didn’t want my arm to be empty. He brought her in last—"

"Why did you even bother to ask me, Cas?" Dean all but spat. His tone was low but that somehow felt worse than if he had been screaming. "If you had someone like _that_ at your disposal, why would you ask me?"

"Wait a minute." Castiel frowned down at Dean, getting upset with all this confusion and how obviously upset Dean was. "I _wanted_ you to come with me. She was a last minute replacement so I wouldn’t look bare for the press. You said you didn’t want to come."

"I did." Dean snarled but then immediately seemed to calm down. He took a step back and looked to the side, hugging himself once more. "I did say that."

They stood in silence for a moment, Dean clearly uncomfortable about something and Castiel blinking almost owlishly at him while trying to figure out what was going on.

"Dean…"

"I’m glad you had a nice evening." Dean mumbled in a rush and then ran off to his room, slamming the door and leaving Castiel feeling like a moron but still not understanding _why_.

  


******************

  


The weekend that followed was incredibly stilted and Castiel blamed himself. Sam spent most of the Saturday with them, though, and it broke some of the ice so that the Sunday wasn’t a complete disaster but Castiel still felt bad about how they hadn’t talked about whatever it was that Dean had been upset about.

On that note he decided to take a half-day on Monday and go home at lunch. Since he never did that Hannah almost had a heart-attack when he walked past her desk announcing his plans. In retrospect he probably should have notified her earlier but his mind had been a bit preoccupied.

Since taking a cab in the lunch rush was nearly impossible he ended up walking home but found that he didn’t mind all that much. The April winds were unusually warm for this time of year and he could even walk with his trench coat unbuttoned.

He felt happy about his decision as he opened the door to the apartment. He would sit Dean down and they would work out what had happened as adults. He was sure it was about something easily fixed, perhaps a misunderstanding (perhaps Dean had thought _he_ would be the replacement for some other date?) that Castiel could explain. He wanted him and Dean to have an open relationship and thought that they had been managing pretty well, considering that the young man felt comfortable enough to share his childhood experiences with Castiel.

Walking into the apartment he found the combined living room/kitchen area empty and he frowned at it for a moment. It wasn’t implausible that Dean would be out, though. Maybe at the gym? Castiel knew that he had yoga classes on Thursdays and that he went to his driver’s license class on Fridays but of course Dean could have other arrangements.

Best to wait and see for a while before he called Dean to see if he would be long, might be that the young man was only shopping for food.

Content with that decision, Castiel headed in the direction of his bedroom but he stopped short when he heard noises coming from in there. The kind of noises that made his blood rush and his dick threaten to fill out.

The door was half-closed and Castiel leaned in to peek through the opening. It was only years of training to be stoic in front of insane clients that saw to it that Castiel didn’t make a complete fool of himself now. Because his first instinct was actually to squeak like a little girl.

In the middle of his bed, with his legs spread wide and his face smashed against Castiel’s pillow, was Dean on his stomach, two fingers plunged into his tight ass. His hole, inner thighs and balls were wet with lube and his dick looked rock hard where it rested between Dean’s legs, leaking precome and quivering with every plunge of Dean’s fingers. Under him was a towel and Dean rubbed his dick against it even as he bucked back to meet his hand.

  


  
  


  


And somehow, the thought that Dean had had the foresight to put down the towel so as not to stain Castiel’s sheets (to not leave evidence) made it even hotter. Because that meant Dean had planned for this, had wanted it. Meant that it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing.

Castiel’s mouth felt dry.

"Cas."

Castiel nearly jumped out of his skin when he at first thought Dean had caught him in this obviously very private moment (in Castiel’s bed!) but no, it seemed Dean had only moaned his name.

And holy hell, Dean had _moaned Castiel’s name_ while fucking himself on his fingers.

"Cas you fucking idiot." Dean groaned, one hand gripping the pillow tightly, his words muffled against it. "Fuck."

Castiel couldn’t stay there. Unbelievably, the _rational_ part of his mind was screaming at him to step into the room and spank Dean’s ass until it was rosy red and then kiss it tenderly. God, it would look so good like that…

But the rest of Castiel’s mind just drew a goddamn blank and instead of doing what he had wanted to do for months he stepped away, walked out of the apartment and spent the time between now and when he usually came home at a café two blocks away, staring into the wall and creeping out the waitresses.

 

Castiel had excused himself to bed pretty much once they had had an awkward dinner but he had barely slept at all, too conscious of the fact that Dean had been masturbating in his bed, while calling out his name. He didn’t want to overthink this but he did.

Because yes, objectively this looked pretty simple. Dean clearly harbored some kind of sexual feelings towards Castiel but this was tricky for Castiel on several levels.

One being that Castiel wanted so much more than just sex.

Another being that Dean had been sexually abused by someone much older than him before coming here and Castiel didn’t want himself associated with that. Didn’t want to trigger Dean.

Yet another level was of course the one that had prevented him so far, namely that Dean might feel indebted to him and therefore only sleep with him because he thought he had to. However, the more Castiel turned and twisted this level the less likely it seemed now. Dean hadn’t known that Castiel would come home and catch him like that so it was highly unlikely that Dean had staged it just to seduce Castiel out of some guilt-ridden reason.

Actually, the more he thought about it during work the next day (effectively making him forget everything about Zachariah’s ranting about his position at the office) the more he started to think that he had been foolish walking away like that. Dean might not be in love with Castiel but it seemed he was certainly interested in a physical relationship and Castiel should approach him about that.

Mind made up he was a man on a mission when he stalked home that evening but everything was upturned when he got home to find Dean completely hammered.

"Well, if it isn’t Mr. Boss Man himself." Dean slurred and Castiel eyed the bottle of Glengoyne on the coffee table. To his knowledge that bottle had remained unopened until this evening and almost half of it was gone now.

"Dean, why are you drinking?" he shrugged out of his coat and approached the couch carefully when Dean only scowled at him, eerily reminiscent of the evening after the gala only a few days ago.

"Why shouldn’t I?" Dean stumbled over practically every word. "My parents died about now, can’t I have a fucking drink when I’m sad?"

Castiel’s eyes softened and he lowered himself slowly on the couch. Dean watched him the whole time, peering at him from under his furrowed brow.

"Of course you can." He said soothingly even if he didn’t usually condone underage drinking. "I didn’t know, I’m sorry. Was it today?" why hadn’t Dean said something? He would have taken time off work if he had known.

"Like hell if I know." Dean spat, reaching with fumbling hands for the bottle and glaring when Castiel pulled it away. "Just know it’s about now, okay? I was gonna be a big brother in May and mom’s belly was big. I was too fucking _little_ to remember, okay Cas?"

"Okay, Dean." Castiel said as calmingly as he could. For some reason (probably the big brother thing) this reminded him too much of Gabriel for it not to hurt but he didn’t want to make this about him when Dean was clearly hurting. "You can drink for your parents, it’s okay."

Dean snorted so hard he started coughing. "You’re such an idiot, Cas. I’m not drinking about them."

Castiel frowned in confusion. "But you said…"

"I can’t even _remember_ them, Cas! You think I’d get stinking drunk over parents I can’t remember and a baby brother I never knew?!"

Castiel was at a complete loss. "Then what—?"

"You, you asshole!"

Castiel raised his eyebrows in shock and Dean wobbled precariously on the edge of the couch before catching himself. He downed the last of the whisky in his glass and narrowly avoided dropping the glass on the floor.

"Me?"

"Fuck you."

Castiel gripped Dean’s upper arm lightly and the younger man immediately leaned into the touch. "Dean please, I don’t understand why you’re so angry."

"Because I’m in love with you!" he roared in Castiel’s face and Castiel’s breath stuck in his throat. Dean grunted before burrowing against the couch, half-draped over Castiel’s side all of a sudden. "‘M in love with you, you fucker." He repeated and Castiel could do nothing but sit there and stare down at the back of Dean’s head. "But you ain’t lookin’ at me. Fucking stray dog, picked me up at the pound. Got supermodels for you."

"Dean." Castiel breathed because even though this was a drunken confession it was still very real and Castiel’s heart was leaping his chest.

Dean didn’t seem to notice the tremble in Castiel’s voice, though.

"Pretty things for Cas, leftovers for Dean." He continued in a sing-song voice against Castiel’s shoulder. "Too young to understand love, too immature to understand sex but I wanna have it with you, Cas." He snorted, seemingly at himself. "But no one’s gonna love you Dean. Only daddy loves you."

The last words were mumbled but Castiel heard them and his heart seized up.

"Dean." He whispered but when he tried to pull out of the embrace Dean all but fell on him and Castiel realized that the young man had fallen asleep. "Fuck." He mumbled to himself, mostly because it seemed the only appropriate word for this moment. Just fuck.

  


*******************

  


The next day Castiel was sitting on the couch when Dean emerged from the bathroom in his sweats and a soft-looking t-shirt, looking disheveled. Castiel had heard the shower running when he had come back from work and had figured to give Dean the time he needed, suspecting that the young man might be feeling quite ill after all that whisky.

Castiel, on the other hand (and despite circumstances), felt great. He had had a highly productive day at work, buoyed by the happiness that even though Dean was angry and upset about it he was still in love with Castiel. He was now very determined to get this farce over and to rectify Dean’s obvious misunderstandings. It was time he stopped being so insecure about this and started acting with the level of confidence he usually conducted himself with. Never in his life had he second-guessed himself like this (especially not when it came to sex or love) and enough was enough.

He sat in the middle of the couch, still in his slacks and shirt, though he had rolled up the sleeves a bit. He crossed his arms over his chest when Dean shuffled over, looking contrite.

"I’m sorry I drank all your whisky." He mumbled and actually (Castiel’s heart nearly exploded from emotional overload) pulled at the hem of his t-shirt as if he didn’t know how adorable that made him look.

"That’s quite alright." Castiel stated in an almost businesslike tone. Oh he had decided very clearly on how he wanted to approach Dean about this. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better now. I puked up everything after you had gone to work but I’ve eaten and showered so I’m good."

"That _is_ good." Castiel nodded when Dean looked at him. "I hope you were able to sleep well too? I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of your clothes when I had carried you to your bed but you struggled against me."

Dean’s eyes widened. "You, fuck, I mean, I didn’t pass out before you came home?"

Castiel frowned. "You don’t remember what happened last night?"

Dean slumped down beside him on the couch. "Fucking hell." He groaned and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Whatever I did I’m sorry."

Seemed like Dean didn’t remember much of anything. Castiel took a moment to consider whether this should affect his plans and decided that no, it shouldn’t.

"You didn’t do anything."

"I remember talking." Dean frowned as he obviously tried to remember. "Did we talk?"

"We did." Castiel nodded. "Or, you talked." He turned to Dean and leaned into the younger man’s space. Dean’s eyes widened again but he neither pushed Castiel away nor moved off the couch. "And now I’m going to talk."

"Cas?" Dean asked in a high-pitched tone and Castiel smiled at him before wrapping his hand around Dean’s arm.

"Come here."

"What?" Despite his confusion Dean followed Castiel’s pull and ended up straddling the older man. "What are you doing?"

"Last night you told me you’re in love with me."

Dean instantly blushed and he spluttered out something that was probably meant to be an argument. He put his hands on Castiel’s shoulders but merely grabbed on tighter. Castiel smiled up at him and gripped Dean’s sharp hips only to pull the younger man down so that their crotches slotted together.

"Cas…" Dean gasped and struggled to remain upright.

"Which was a revelation that suited me perfectly. You see, Dean," he grinned up at Dean when he stopped struggling and let Castiel hug him tightly. "I myself have been in love with you for months.

"Months?" Dean squeaked and Castiel nodded somberly even as he started rolling Dean’s body against him. Dean rocked in place, his fingers digging in against Castiel’s shoulders.

"At first it was fascination and awe at how resilient you are. How remarkably different and fresh it felt to be around you. And your body, believe me when I say I’ve spent countless hours berating myself for desiring you, considering the age difference." He smiled again, less predatorily and more lovingly, when all Dean could do was gawk at him. "But after a while I realized that I wasn’t merely attracted to your body, I was attracted to your soul as well. And looking back I now know that I was in love with you even before I asked you come live here. Do you have any idea how hellish these past months have been for me?"

"I might." Dean mumbled, his eyes still wide but Castiel could see the comprehension slipping in and much to his joy he also felt Dean’s body starting to respond to their movements.

"So you see, when you drunkenly confessed to being in love with me I was both happy and frustrated. Realizing I could have had you so long ago but that I had been too foolish to see the signs also made me angry with myself." He reached up and carded a hand through Dean’s soft hair and the young man’s beautiful eyes actually fluttered at the caress. "So here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m going to make up for lost time by touching you and if you don’t want me to you will say _red_ , do you understand?"

"Red." Dean repeated, sounding almost breathless already. "What’re you gonna do?"

Castiel leaned in and nipped at Dean’s racing pulse. "All the things I’ve wanted to do." He growled in Dean’s ear and Dean keened, his dick twitching against Castiel’s. "What are you supposed to say when you want to stop?"

"Red." Dean groaned.

"Are you saying red right now?"

"No, please don’t stop."

Castiel nipped Dean’s earlobe. "Good boy."

Dean whined and bucked down against Castiel’s hardening dick and Castiel took a moment to kiss the young man’s neck before he turned them over and pushed Dean down on the couch beneath him. Gathering Dean’s wrists in one hand, Castiel pushed them up over the younger man’s head and stretched out over him, his other hand traveling down Dean’s warm body.

"If you knew all the things I’ve wanted to do to you." He breathed hotly against Dean’s ear.

Dean moaned and bucked so that their thighs slid against each other’s erections. Castiel groaned at the much wanted friction and he was pleased to feel Dean’s answering hard-on twitch.

"Tell me." Dean breathed. "I’ve never been with a man but I want you, Cas. What the fuck is that about?"

"Heteroflexibility?"

Dean’s throat clicked when he swallowed hard. "I don’t know what that means."

Castiel chuckled against Dean’s neck. "In this context it means that you wouldn’t be opposed to doing this with me." He rolled sinuously slow against the younger man and Dean’s whole body melted against the couch.

"Tell me." Dean repeated in a whine and Castiel licked his way into Dean’s mouth just to taste him for a moment.

The first taste of Dean, the first feeling of the boy’s soft lips against Castiel’s almost made Castiel lose his mind. His whole body flushed hot and he kissed the younger man until both of them were gasping for breath, tongue diving deep and controlling the kiss as Dean yielded more than willingly.

"I’ve wanted to bend you over the kitchen counter." He growled, stopping to pinch Dean’s nipple through his t-shirt. "Wanted to lick you open and make you come on my tongue once before I fucked you hard until you came again, all over the cabinets.

"Fuck." Dean breathed, he was almost panting now. Castiel moved to the side so he could sneak down a hand to squeeze the younger man’s hard dick. It made Dean buck up hard and Castiel rose to his knees to loom over Dean, a predatory glint in his eyes.

"I’ve wanted to make you suck me off, wanted to hold you in place as I came down your throat." Castiel was so hard it was painful and he had leaked enough precome to make a wet spot on his slacks. "Wanted to tie you to the bed and suck you off."

"Yes." Dean hissed. "Fuck yes, your mouth Cas."

Castiel bent down and kissed Dean hard, easily taking charge again and Dean’s dick jumped in Castiel’s hand. Fat and hard, it felt perfect in Castiel’s grip.

"I would suck you so good Dean." He groaned against Dean’s panting mouth. "You would be begging me to come but I wouldn’t let you. I would keep you there on the edge until I had opened you up for me."

"C-Cas…" Dean moaned. His whole body was squirming, almost reaching for Castiel’s, and he was spreading his legs wider even as he was thrusting up his hips. "I—you’ve gotta stop."

"You calling red?"

"N-no, but I—"

"You don’t want me to fuck you senseless after I’ve sucked you like that?" Castiel’s dick arched in his pants when Dean threw his head back, moaning. "I’d let you fuck me too, if that’s what you’re thinking about."

"Fucking hell, Cas!"

Castiel nodded with a grin and couldn’t help but lower himself over Dean’s body again, the younger man surging for the gratifying friction as he started thrusting up against Castiel’s own hard dick.

"I’ve always been soft on you, Dean." Castiel breathed in Dean’s ear. "Soft _with_ you, I might say. But I’m actually kind of dominant, especially in bed."

"Shit, Cas, I—"

"That’s doesn’t mean I don’t switch, though." They were almost fucking as it was, Castiel pinning Dean’s hands over his head and their bodies rolling together. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep doing this without coming but the pleasure was so great that he didn’t have the strength to even want to try to stop. "Have you ever heard about topping from the bottom?"

"Cas, I-I gotta, I’m _gonna_ —"

"Bet you would feel fucking fantastic inside me, Dean."

Dean cried out wordlessly as he came hard in his pants. Hard and so much that Castiel could feel the warmth and wetness of it through all the layers with how close they were. He groaned deeply and kept grinding down until Dean seemed to get himself together and only then did he pull back slightly so he could see the younger man’s face. Dean was red in the face and absolutely stunning.

"That’s why I said stop." Dean stated weakly and Castiel got a momentary flash of concern that he had overstepped his boundaries, especially considering everything that had happened to Dean in the past.

"Did you not want to come?"

Dean glared at him but his eyes also twinkled with amusement. "I didn’t want to come in my pants, you smartass." He wriggled on the couch but reached for Castiel when he let go of Dean’s hands to sit back. Instead he pulled Castiel down over him and kissed him deeply, reminding Castiel that he still very much hadn’t come. "Also, I didn’t want to have to stop here." He mumbled, uncharacteristically shy and Castiel nosed at his cheek until he met Castiel’s eyes.

"Does it have to stop just because you came?" he smiled gently down at Dean. "I don’t know about you but I would love nothing more than to spend the night making up for lost time."

Dean’s blush was adorable. "I’d like that too." He almost whispered and Castiel grinned.

"Shower together?"

"Only if… um, if I can blow you in there?"

Castiel sat up with a chuckle to hide how he almost goddamn came from that hushed request alone.

"That sounds divine, to be honest."

"Just fair warning," Dean continued and sat up too, pulling at his sweats. "I wasn’t lying, I’ve truly never done anything with a guy. But I…" he coughed and looked to the side. "When I realized that I was kinda into you I looked up some porn so I think I’ve got the basics down, maybe."

God, Castiel’s heart felt like it was going to explode. He leaned in with a smile and kissed Dean sweetly for a moment.

"You don’t have to worry, I know what to do. And we can always improvise." He smiled wider when Dean nodded, looking so serious about this that Castiel couldn’t not love him more. "So tell me, when exactly was it that you realized?"

"Oh no." Dean shook his head and stood on unsteady legs. "I’ve already embarrassed myself here, now you go first."

Castiel took a moment to think that over, following Dean slowly to the bathroom. "I think from the beginning."

"When I moved in?"

"When you picked up my wallet."

Dean looked at him with round eyes. "Don’t fuck with me."

Castiel chuckled and started undressing when Dean did (Dean making a face at his sticky boxer-briefs was the best).

"I’m not. I didn’t understand it at the time but looking back I’m pretty certain that was it."

"Well shit." Dean mumbled, his cheeks red again and Castiel couldn’t resist swooping in and hugging Dean tight as he carded his hands through the younger man’s hair.

"Now you." He demanded softly, not that it was something he had to know but because he liked seeing Dean flustered.

"Um, it was," Dean sighed harshly and stepped back to whip his t-shirt over his head (and oh my God, those abs). "When you bought the PS4."

Castiel’s stomach only dropped a little. Both because he had already been fearing he was buying Dean’s love and because he didn’t want to assume that that was what Dean had meant.

"Really?"

Dean grimaced. "When I asked you who Sam was it almost sounded as if he was someone you were involved with or something. I dunno, you hesitated before saying ‘friend from work’ and it just stuck with me."

Castiel blinked, momentarily stunned because he barely remembered that conversation himself. Dean just sighed again, a little softer, and went to help Castiel out of his shirt. And if Castiel’s erection had flagged a little it was certainly revivified from the feel of Dean’s knuckles brushing Castiel’s chest as he unbuttoned the shirt.

"I didn’t realize that was how it sounded." He said after a moment and Dean nodded.

"I get that now but at the time I just got insanely jealous and I didn’t understand why." Dean looked up at him from under his lashes and his eyes had never seemed so vibrant. "Until I did, okay?"

Castiel nodded. "I understand." He smiled kindly and Dean leaned up to kiss him, their lips dragging softly against one another’s. "And then you went on the web and—hang on, you didn’t have a laptop then."

"Yeah…" Dean stepped back and rubbed the back of his head. "You said I could use yours so…"

Castiel found himself momentarily stunned again but mostly because he was kind of blinded by the sight of Dean fully naked.

"So you saw some of my porn bookmarks, didn’t you?" why else would the young man look so embarrassed now?

"I did." Dean nodded. "I, uh, I liked it."

Castiel grinned and stepped into Dean’s personal space again, hands coming to grab at Dean’s body so he could thumb those sharp hipbones.

"What was your favorite, Dean?" he murmured in a husky tone and saw (to his smugness) that Dean shuddered pleasantly.

"You’re not mad I saw it? Or embarrassed?"

Not particularly, Castiel had always been pretty open about what he liked and besides, compared to a lot of other people he was probably considered pretty vanilla (thank you, Balthazar, for teaching Castiel that phrase…).

"Do you think I should be?" he smiled when the young man shook his head and went in to kiss Dean just under his ear. "What was your favorite?"

"The, um, the panties." Dean almost whispered, barely audible even in the echo of the bathroom. "And there was one guy, he was… kinda bossy, I dunno…"

Dean was like a dream come true, so much that Castiel almost felt like weeping.

"I love you so much." He mumbled against Dean’s neck and felt the younger man stiffen for a moment before turning his head to mouth against Castiel’s own neck.

"Why didn’t you say something?" Dean demanded in a small voice and Castiel understood. He was the older, and Dean had felt unloved for so long it was probably hard for him to imagine otherwise.

"The age difference." He mumbled truthfully. "I didn’t want to scare you and then later, after you had told me about your past, there was the underlying fear of hurting you mentally and emotionally. And of course," he smiled to himself, making Dean pull out to look at him. "I entertained ideas that you were straight or maybe a homophobe."

"Homophobe?" Dean’s whole face was scrunched up in a confused frown. "Why?"

"When Balthazar fake-flirted with me on the Christmas party you got more mad than jealous, so I didn’t know what to think."

Dean held up a hand to stop him. "‘Fake-flirted’?"

Castiel nodded with a small smile. "To get your attention. Balthazar was sure it would prompt you into making a move since I found myself unable to."

"Oh it got my attention alright." Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and then laughed (to Castiel’s immense relief). "I almost punched him but fuck I felt smug when you went home with me."

Castiel reached out and pulled Dean closer, kissing him thoroughly. "And for as long as you’ll want me to, I’ll keep doing just that."

Dean looked a little dazed from the kiss, which Castiel only thought was appropriate. "And the supermodel?"

"A poor, _poor_ , replacement for you." He smiled when he saw how Dean preened at that and how hard the young man tried to hide it. "No one can replace you, Dean." He mumbled lovingly and kissed Dean again once before he disentangled himself from Castiel’s arms.

"I ain’t good with emotions." Dean muttered and pushed Castiel towards the shower. "Less chick-flick moments, more sex."

Castiel’s laughter echoed off the tiled walls and his heart soared when Dean’s own laugh joined his.

 


	7. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone order some naughty sex?   
> Also, please enjoy a side-order of THE FEELS courtesy of Cas’ backstory <3

  
  


When Castiel woke up the next morning he was momentarily overcome with sadness and longing when he saw Dean’s sleeping body beside him. It lasted all about thirty seconds before he remembered that yes, he was indeed allowed to touch the young man and (judging by Dean’s enthusiastic performance in the shower last night) Dean _wanted_ Castiel to touch him, more than anything.

Grinning to himself he rolled over to blanket himself over Dean’s back. The younger man stiffened for a moment before grumbling awake.

"Good morning, Dean." Castiel murmured sweetly (and kind of evilly considering how he knew he was a morning person and that Dean most definitely was not).

"Fuck, Cas." Dean huffed and puffed while doing his best to roll around with Castiel remaining stubbornly on top of him. Like a fat housecat, Castiel was not very inclined to give up his perch and hell, with the leap their relationship had taken he even felt like purring.

"Too early?"

"Yes but also," Dean grabbed Castiel’s hair and pulled him down for a dirty kiss, shifting so that Castiel became very aware of just how aroused Dean actually was despite the time. "Your goddamn voice, it’s driving me insane."

Castiel hummed into another kiss, pleased with Dean’s responsiveness. He would _definitely_ have fun with that later.

"Kind of like how you drive me insane?"

"If it’s any kind of sexy insane, then yes."

Castiel chuckled at how goddamn cheesy they were being and he couldn’t help but hide his face against Dean’s neck. Never in his life had he behaved (or wanted to behave) like this with a lover. He tugged the blankets off them and Dean grunted in satisfaction when Castiel grinded his own morning wood against Dean’s thigh. They kissed again, sloppier, and Castiel couldn’t stop touching Dean. He held him close with one hand while the other played with Dean’s perky nipples and the younger man was soon arching up into Castiel’s touches.

"Jesus fuck you’re good at this." Dean moaned when Castiel pinched his nipple especially hard. "Even your morning breath is fine, old man."

Castiel felt his whole body flush with arousal but Dean’s words made him pause nonetheless. He pulled out so their eyes could meet (ignoring the way Dean was glaring at him for stopping) and cupped Dean’s slightly stubbled cheek.

"I will be one day, you know."

"What?"

Dean’s eyes were so beautiful that Castiel wondered how he had ever been able to look away.

"An old man." They would of course both be old men one day but Castiel knew his message had gotten across anyway when Dean settled back against his pillow with a somber expression.

"Well you’re not one today, are you?"

Castiel frowned in confusion. "Not that I’m aware of, no."

"Then shut up and kiss me." Despite his request it was Dean who pulled down Castiel and smashed their mouths together.

Castiel groaned deeply and rolled to place himself between Dean’s legs when the younger man opened them wide for him. Their erections were hot and hard, catching against one another and the friction was almost enough to make Castiel lose his mind.

Yesterday evening had been emotionally charged (not to mention sexually charged) and now Castiel started feeling all of that catch up with him. He had wanted Dean for so long it felt like years and now that he had him he didn’t know what he wanted to do first — coddle or fuck him?

It was starting to lean towards fucking the younger man, though, and especially so when Dean whined as Castiel bit down his neck.

"I know it’s early." He panted against Dean’s soft skin. "I know I have to go to work soon but," he groaned deeply when Dean pulled at his hair, humping up against Castiel still larger body. "I really want to fuck you, Dean."

Actually he wanted to _make love_ to the young man but was uncertain if either of them was prepared to call it that, despite having admitted to their feelings and more the night before.

Dean’s breath hitched and Castiel felt his thighs tremble.

"I… I’ve just never…" he curled his whole body around Castiel’s. "Be careful."

Oh, if Castiel didn’t think he could love Dean any more than he already did he was dead wrong. His throat even closed up for a moment. _Maybe making love wouldn’t be so hard to say after all_ , he thought to himself as he nosed along the shell of Dean’s (very red) ear. Maybe it would be the perfect thing to say.

"Come now, boy." He mumbled lovingly. "I know you know how." He put his mouth against Dean’s ear and delighted in the shape of the young man’s arched neck. "I saw you masturbate the other day."

Dean gasped and even though he most probably was shocked his dick still twitched against Castiel’s.

"What do you mean?"

"I felt bad on Monday." Castiel murmured and started rolling his hips down again, torturously slow. "I came home for lunch, wanted to talk to you and found you in my bed. You were being a bad boy, weren’t you?"

"No." Dean whined and at the back of Castiel’s mind he wondered if Dean responded so favorably to being called _good boy_ because of his years of abuse or if he simply liked it.

He needed to talk to Dean about it because even though Castiel absolutely loved Dean’s reaction he would much rather not be associated with something bad. Talking was for later, though, as both his and Dean’s body was swift to remind him in this moment.

"I saw you fucking yourself on your fingers." He whispered in a rasp, hoarse from barely contained arousal. "I want to see it again."

"C-Cas."

Castiel remembered that little stutter from the night before and even though it sounded divine he also didn’t want this to end too soon. Backing off earned him both a scowl and a smile, however weird that sounded, and he couldn’t help but smile back. Dean looked wrecked, his hair stood on end and his eyes were glazed over.

Looking down, Castiel saw that the young man’s dick tented his boxer-briefs obscenely and he licked his lips before reaching forward and gently easing the underwear down. Dean helped by lifting his butt and when his dick came free it slapped back against his toned stomach, making Dean groan.

He squirmed on the bed, hips jutting up almost as if on their own accord and he was looking at Castiel with positively begging eyes.

"My God, Dean." Castiel breathed reverently. "You’re perfect." He took Dean’s straining dick in one hand, thumbing the red head gently, and Dean grabbed the pillow under his head, keening at the touch. "My good boy, aren’t you?"

Dean fucked desperately up into Castiel’s hand but Castiel held him too loosely on purpose, loving the sounds that were drawn out of the living wet dream before him.

"Cas, I want you. _Please_ do something."

Castiel hummed and got off the bed (his heart nearly tore at the abandoned whine Dean let out). Making quick work of ridding himself of his own underwear he strode over to his nightstand where he kept a tube of lube and some condoms. Sparing the date a glance he was happy to see that they hadn’t expired and he brought them back to the bed with a triumphant smile.

Dean was gripping the base of his dick tightly as he stared at Castiel’s body, letting his eyes rake unabashedly up and down the older man’s entire length and yes, when Dean’s eyes glued to Castiel’s endowment he felt especially proud. Dean had taken his time yesterday to look and feel his share of what Castiel had to offer and to know that Dean wanted him felt divine.

Not mention how he felt when he heard the wrecked little groan Dean let out as soon as he had climbed back onto the bed and let their dicks slide together. The friction was perfect with their precome slicking the way and Castiel once again marveled at Dean’s size.

More than that, though, he reveled in Dean’s expression and he bent in to kiss the younger man as they rutted together. His balls dragged against Dean’s and the feeling made him moan into the kiss. He could feel Dean’s whole body trembling and the younger man was grabbing Castiel’s hair desperately.

"I want to see you open yourself up for me." He murmured huskily and Dean gasped sharply. "Will you do that?"

"Will you…?"

Castiel smiled, dragging his lips across Dean’s stubble. "Will I what? Don’t be afraid to ask me, Dean."

"Will you touch me too?"

He felt how Dean’s whole body was tense in anticipation of the answer and Castiel couldn’t resist kissing the younger man, holding him tight and pouring as much emotion into the kiss as he could.

"I will touch you however much you want, Dean, never more and never less." He sat up, coaxing Dean to do the same and then to lean back against the headboard. "Do you remember the word you were supposed to say if you wanted to stop?"

"Red." Dean said immediately and then pawed the blankets until he found the lube Castiel had dropped beside them. "I’m not saying it."

Castiel smiled and thought they really ought to pick another word or maybe talk about the stop light system because it had been a spur of the moment decision he had made when he didn’t know how Dean would respond to being touched like that. Sure, he had been pretty certain that Dean wanted him sexually and the younger man _had_ had admitted that he was in love with Castiel but that had been under the influence of alcohol so Castiel hadn’t wanted to assume. Even now, he was very aware of Dean’s past and emotions. After all, sexual desire didn’t always equal consent.

He thought they were safe for now, though, with Dean sitting before him, his dick swollen and flat up against his stomach, and his eyes determined as he proclaimed to not saying red. And what a sight that was. Castiel wondered how he had ever been able to hold back from touching Dean and why the hell he wasn’t touching him right now.

Just to prove to himself that he could (and was allowed), he put a hand on Dean’s knee, pushing the leg to bend up against Dean’s chest. Out of instinct (or reflex) Dean pulled up the other leg too and Castiel took a moment to simply stare at the pretty picture Dean’s tight balls and twitching hole made.

"Start with one finger, Dean." He demanded in a gravelly tone. Dean’s breath hitched and he poured way too much lube on his fingers. He made a face but didn’t say anything, instead he just reached down and smeared his dick and balls with the excess before circling his hole for a moment. Castiel couldn’t wait to taste it and filed that thought away for another time.

"I want you to check it." Dean mumbled with a blush. Castiel tilted his head to the side as he regarded Dean for a moment. "Just… when I’m done, I mean."

"Too see if you’re open enough?"

"Fuck." Dean gritted his teeth and plunged one finger in, almost as if he couldn’t wait. "Yeah just, fuck, yeah I mean I don’t know how it’s supposed to feel."

Watching Dean’s finger slider in and out of his hole and listening to him talk reminded Castiel that this was a virgin hole. _Dean’s_ virgin hole. And he was about to give it to Castiel, because he loved and trusted the older man.

Yeah, Castiel simply _had to_ start stroking himself when that realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Of course, Dean." He rasped. "I don’t want to hurt you, ever."

Dean moaned and added another finger, curling up to reach better and it was evident when he found his prostate because his dick jumped and spit out precome even as Dean gasped almost innocently.

"Yes, just like that." Castiel rumbled, leaning forward on his knees and pumping his dick faster. "Good boy, do it deeper."

"Cas." Dean whined and Castiel saw the younger man white-knuckle the sheets under him.

As lovely a sight as this was (it was the loveliest Castiel had ever seen) he couldn’t contain himself any longer and he shuffled up to Dean to kiss him even as he put his own fingers against Dean’s hole. The younger man cried out into the kiss when Castiel prodded at his rim and goddamnit, Castiel was usually a patient lover but there was just something about Dean that made him loose his cool.

"Now, Cas?" Dean begged and almost ripped out his own fingers. "Want you."

"Soon, boy." Castiel all but cooed (could grown men do that? Apparently, if Dean Winchester were their lover).

He replaced Dean’s fingers with his own and nearly choked at how tight it was. He knew his dick wasn’t overly large but he wasn’t small either and going in now would only hurt Dean. That wouldn’t do, this was Dean’s first time trying anal and Castiel was determined to make it a good experience (not to mention that his dick nearly shriveled up at the thought of hurting Dean).

So instead of giving in to Dean’s gasping pleas he pulled the young man down on the bed to lie on his back as Castiel took his time fingering Dean open. By the end of it Castiel was three fingers deep, his dick was hurting, and Dean had nearly come twice. He was a blubbering mess, hiccupping for his breath and gripping Castiel’s arms tight enough to probably leave bruises.

"Cas." Dean gasped on every other breath. " _Cas._ "

"I know, love." Castiel murmured, scissoring his fingers one last time before pulling out completely. "Just have to get the condom."

"Cas." Dean’s hands on his arm hindered him and when he met Dean’s eyes they were so full of emotions that Castiel’s heart nearly seized up. "Raw. Want you."

"Dean…" even with how bad an idea that was Castiel was already lining up, as if his body had a mind of its own (his dick certainly had, lewd bastard). "We shouldn’t."

Castiel knew Dean was clean since they had tested him after his birthday but even though Castiel knew he himself was clean, Dean didn’t know that and Castiel didn’t want him taking chances. Plus, he was uncertain what Dean would think of having come dribble out of his ass as a first time experience.

"You don’t want to?"

Goddamnit, that vulnerable and watery tone was unfair. Castiel gritted his teeth and leaned down to kiss Dean thoroughly, making the head of his dick bump against Dean’s perineum.

"I want you more than air, Dean."

God, the mewling sound Dean let out would do any man in, Castiel was sure. All his arguments forgotten, he aligned himself and pushed in, simultaneously making Dean let out his breath in a big puff.

"B- _big._ " Dean gritted and completely blew Castiel’s mind. That he managed to pause to let Dean accommodate for a moment before he pushed completely inside was nothing short of a miracle.

Castiel huffed against Dean’s pounding pulse when he finally bottomed out, his balls resting snugly against Dean’s warm ass. Dean was grabbing at Castiel’s shoulders, pawing at him and arching his back continuously.

"You feel so good, Dean." Castiel murmured affectionately.

"I feel full."

Castiel couldn’t resist chuckling and grabbed a pillow to press under the small of Dean’s back before he started pulling out slowly.

"Don’t leave." Dean whined immediately and Castiel groaned even as his dick jumped inside Dean.

"I’m not going anywhere." He hushed gently, his whole body trembling with need but he held himself back from pounding into Dean. He wanted to and he would, one day, but not for their first time.

Dean gulped in air, making his hole spasm like crazy around Castiel’s dick. Castiel’s hips stuttered on an inward thrust and he groaned deeply before he started building a rhythm. In and out, slow and steady and Dean was rolling with him in beautiful arches.

Deep groans and sharp gasps made it almost impossible to kiss but Castiel made a valiant effort anyway, loving the feel of Dean’s lips enough that even just dragging their lips together made his whole body light up with pleasure.

He scarcely remembered a time when he had been more aroused and he pressed in as far as he could get, wanted to be as close as possible forever. Even pulling out to thrust back in felt too long to be away from Dean’s perfect heat.

He angled his upper body to the side for a moment to grab at Dean’s rock hard dick but Dean whined for him as soon as he lifted his face away and Castiel felt the call in his chest, like a tether pulling him towards the younger man. Abandoning his quest for Dean’s dick he dove back in to kiss Dean passionately.

Dean tangled his hands in Castiel’s hair and arched up his whole body so that they were pressed together head to toe. It made thrusting almost impossible and Castiel was reduced to slowly rolling his hips to grind his dick against Dean’s sensitive inner walls.

Dean’s whole body suddenly went rigid and he shouted hoarsely even as precome dribbled out of his dick.

"Prostate?" Castiel murmured with laughter in his voice.

"Keep going." Dean gasped breathlessly and it wasn’t like Castiel needed to be told twice.

He gathered his knees under himself again to be able to do more than grinding and judging by Dean’s almost desperate moans that was a good thing. Dean’s dick rubbed continuously against both their stomachs and Dean threw his head back against the pillow when Castiel thrusted harder into him.

"I’m not going to last much longer." Castiel panted but he wasn’t sure if Dean could hear him anymore.

The younger man had his eyes closed and his mouth open, little hiccupping breaths escaping him and Castiel thought he had never seen a more beautiful sight. Dean’s hole clenched around Castiel’s dick even as Dean’s legs squeezed Castiel’s waist and the pleasure was building inside him, wave after wave coming at him, each one harder than the one before.

His groin felt like it was on fire and his heart felt about ready to explode.

"C-Cas." Dean whimpered ( _whimpered!_ ). "Touch me."

Castiel’s hand was flying over to Dean’s dick even before those two words had fully registered with his conscious mind and Dean bucked his hips as soon as Castiel’s fingers wrapped around him. Two strokes was all it took and then Dean was spraying the both of them with his white hot come.

"Dean." Castiel gasped, completely overwhelmed, and his hips stuttered through his thrusts.

Dean came so hard and so much and he was absolutely silent throughout it, all until the end when he sucked in a giant breath, making his hole clamp down around Castiel. Castiel grunted and fell down on Dean, not able to hold himself up as his own orgasm wracked his body.

"Oh fuck." Dean chanted through Castiel’s orgasm, holding the older man tightly. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck_."

"God." Castiel groaned when his dick finally gave a last little twitch and started softening. "I haven’t come like that in ages, and that’s counting everything you milked out of me in the shower yesterday."

Dean hummed, sounding as if he couldn’t believe this had just happened. Castiel propped himself up on his elbows, mindful of letting his dick slide smoothly out of Dean’s swollen hole. If some of his come dribbled out with it Dean didn’t let it show on his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice and Dean looked at him with big eyes.

"Are you kidding? I’m fucking fantastic. Just," Dean laughed (to Castiel’s big relief). "Didn’t know it would feel like this."

"And how is that?" Castiel asked carefully and rolled to the side so he wouldn’t be crushing Dean. Dean immediately rolled after him, much to Castiel’s delight. He pulled Dean close to his chest and kissed the younger man on top of his head.

"Good." Dean murmured, sounding shy all of a sudden. "Loved?"

"Was that a question?"

Dean squirmed against him and Castiel hugged him tightly. "I feel loved." He stated determinedly, his face smashed against Castiel’s chest and God, Castiel had never been happier.

"Good boy."

  


********************

  


Castiel was readying himself for bed in the evening of the same day (after having spent an incredibly boring day at work only to come home to a splendid dinner with Dean) when Dean stomped into his room. He was in the middle of brushing his teeth, toothpaste frothing at his mouth as he stared defiantly at Castiel all the way through his room and to the master bathroom where he heard the young man spit.

Chuckling to himself Castiel flipped the comforter to the side and stretched out in bed, propped up on his pillows so he could watch Dean make another entrance. The young man was nothing if not dramatic and Castiel did recognize how that could be considered high maintenance but he didn’t feel like that fit with Dean. Dean was just very much of everything and Castiel loved every little bit.

Plus, the contrast between how demanding Dean could be normally and how shy he got when it came to sex was intriguing and Castiel couldn’t wait to see where that went further down the line.

When Dean eventually reentered the bedroom his toothbrush was noticeably absent and Castiel raised his eyebrow (dom-brow?) at Dean’s empty hands.

"I’m moving my stuff in here." Dean demanded determinedly. "This is _our_ room now."

Castiel smiled and folded his hands in his lap. "Are you convincing me or yourself?"

That made a flicker of doubt pass over Dean’s handsome face and Castiel chuckled again, unable not to, patting the bed beside him. Dean climbed in and nuzzled up to Castiel’s side when Castiel slid down so that he was flat on his back.

"I want to." Dean mumbled, his lips grazing Castiel’s chest as he spoke. "And you’ll get the use of your guest room back."

Castiel smiled and hugged Dean closer. "I would very much like to have you in here with me every night but you don’t have to move all your things. Let the TV and PS4 stay, we’ll buy a couch and make it into a gaming room."

"But…" Dean raised his head, a little furrow between his eyebrows evidence of his confusion.

Castiel sighed. "That room was only a guest room because I didn’t have anything else to put in it. I wanted a penthouse apartment here at JeffJack and they all came with a spare bedroom, I didn’t care."

"Oh." Dean still looked confused.

"Though I suppose it could be beneficial if Sam decides to spend the night again, and Balthazar _did_ use it that one time when he thought he was going to get lucky with the woman in 2B and she threw a drink in his face." He smiled at the memory. "We could buy a tent bed. Or one of those foldout couches?"

"Um, but Cas," Dean looked down and chewed his bottom lip for a moment. "What about your family? What if they visit?"

Castiel sighed, his chest feeling hollow all of a sudden. "Dean, you’ve been living with me for over six months, when has it ever looked like my family might be visiting?"

"You talk to your sister sometimes."

Castiel smiled a small smile at the mention of Anna. "She’s visited me a grand total of two times since I moved to Chicago. I don’t blame her, though, that’s just how it is in my family."

"Okay." Dean was quiet for a moment, head pillowed on Castiel’s arm once again. "Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t hogging all your space ‘s all."

Castiel was starting to think he ought to tell Dean about his family.

"You’re not." He squeezed Dean to him. "I’ll start complaining only when you’ve taken over every room in the villa too, although surprisingly we do share a lot of interests so I suppose that won’t be a problem."

Dean pulled himself up on his elbow to look incredulously at Castiel. "Villa?"

Oh, right.

"Yes." Castiel forced himself to hold Dean’s gaze or it would look like he had been intentionally hiding something from the younger man while the truth was that he had just forgotten to mention it. "I have a villa up in Highland Park, down by Lake Michigan."

Dean stared at him for a moment in slack-jawed silence. "Well fuck, Cas, when were you gonna tell me? Waiting to see if I wasn’t gonna rob you after all?"

Castiel returned a wry stare. "Yes Dean, but now that I’ve taken your ass virginity I feel safe enough to tell you about my secret house."

"Really?" Dean squeaked and Castiel slapped him lightly on his back.

"No not really, Dean. I forgot about it."

"You forgot about owning a _house_?"

Castiel rolled his eyes but couldn’t help laughing at Dean’s big eyes. "I may be rich but I’m not _that_ rich." He said with a huge smile and Dean huffed out a little laughter of his own. "No, I just forgot to mention it to you. I usually go there during Christmas and on my summer vacation but you made this apartment so welcoming that I didn’t want to leave."

"Come to think of it, you did mention that you had an overnight apartment, when you first asked me to come live with you. I suppose you meant this one, then." Dean looked at him through his lashes. "Do you remember?"

Castiel pulled him down into a kiss. "As if I could forget." He mumbled when they parted and Dean smiled as he got himself comfortable beside Castiel once again.

"I dunno, you just forgot about a villa so…"

"Smartass."

"Are we gonna go there during the summer?"

Castiel nodded and reached down to grab one of Dean’s hands to play with his fingers. "If you do well on your driver’s license studies I’ll even let you drive."

Dean hummed out a smile against Castiel’s chest and they stayed in that comfortable moment for a while before Dean kissed Castiel’s chest (sending goosebumps _everywhere_ ) and angled his head up so he could see Castiel while talking.

"Have your family visited the villa more than here, then?"

"Dean," Castiel sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. "Me and my family don’t get along. At all."

"You don’t?" Dean made a sad face when Castiel shook his head. "I’m sorry."

"I was too, for a long time. But I’m grown now and don’t have to spend my time with people who don’t want to spend theirs with me. This is better for everyone." With a suddenly, almost sickening feeling, Castiel knew that he _wanted_ to tell Dean about his childhood, something he had been putting off because he hated it. But it was the last secret he had (the only secret he had) and he didn’t want there to be _any_ secrets between them if he could help it.

"It’s okay, Cas." Dean kissed Castiel’s chest again. " _I_ want to spend time with you."

"I know, Dean." He whispered and wondered what had happened with this conversation. "Did you know that I carry a picture of me and my siblings in my wallet?" his throat already felt hoarse.

"I did." Dean smiled, Castiel could feel it against his skin and it felt like balm. "You told me the day we met. Told me I could keep the wallet but that you wanted the pic."

Castiel was amazed Dean remembered such a small detail. "Did you also know that only one of those siblings is alive?"

Dean tensed for a second and then wrapped one arm and one leg around Castiel’s body. "I’m _so_ sorry."

Castiel smiled up at the ceiling, feeling detached from his emotions, like he had taught himself to be while speaking about this.

"It happened about a week after my birthday, that’s why I don’t celebrate it. Well, it’s not only why but I guess I’ll get to that if you want to hear it."

"I want to." Dean whispered. "If you’ll let me hear it."

Castiel could never deny Dean anything.

"I had gotten a new bike for my birthday and my dad had been teaching me how to ride it. I was seven and wanted to be big like my big brother Gabriel so my parents had gotten me a bike without training wheels. I was so proud." He felt his voice going monotone and thought it was appropriate for how this made him feel.

"Dad had been outside with me all day but he had to go to work in the evening and he told me explicitly that there would be no more bike-riding without him. I was not happy about that and I managed to convince Gabriel to go out with me instead. We made Anna promise to lie for us and then we snuck out while mom watched _Wheel of Fortune_." Despite everything he found himself smiling at the memory. Dean snuggled in closer and Castiel took comfort in how warm the younger man was, how alive.

"We went to practice where me and dad had been, which was just down the road, a place we often went to play so there was nothing scary about it. It was dark by then, though, and Gabriel ran beside me as I biked carefully up and down the curb, edging me on. He was…" he smiled again, seeing Gabriel’s wide grin before him. "He was very energetic." God, it hurt suddenly, remembering all of this.

"Long story short, there was a car. Gabe pushed me out of the way." He coughed to hide how his voice wobbled and Dean hugged him tighter. "I ran screaming all the way home. I just… just left him there. I mean, the man in the car had stopped so he wasn’t alone but there… there was just so much blood and I wanted my mom." He drew in a big breath to calm his pounding heart, certain Dean would be able to feel it under his cheek.

"I have some blanks there, I remember we waited a long time at the hospital, though. My mom was so scared, and angry. He," Castiel gritted his teeth for a moment, the hand he had resting on his stomach shaking slightly. "He died, internal organ failure I think was the main cause." Dean reached for his hand and held it tightly when Castiel found himself unable to go on for a while. God, it was almost as if he could smell all that blood again.

"After that my mom closed off. She was constantly angry with me, blamed me outright for Gabe’s death. She spent countless hours in therapy, even sent Anna to a child psychologist to deal with the loss but she refused me a chance to go because she felt I was the cause of it."

"But… your dad?" Dean mumbled and Castiel couldn’t bear to look down and see Dean’s emotional eyes because he _knew_ he would start crying if he did.

"He didn’t blame me like mom did but he treated me differently. He was very… formal when he addressed me and they both basically stopped touching me after the accident. The only one I had still on my side was Anna but I think that was mostly because she didn’t know any better. She was only four—no, five, when it happened."

"That’s fucked up, Cas." Dean mumbled and hugged Castiel harder. "What your parents did was really fucked up."

Castiel smiled ruefully and decided not to tell that for the first couple of years he had believed and agreed with his parents.

"By the time I was supposed to enter middle school my mother had convinced my dad to send me off to boarding school so she wouldn’t have to look at me. She told me this to my face when I asked why I had to leave. It was also around that time that they stopped celebrating my birthday." He sighed when he caught a glimpse of Dean’s outrage.

"Of course I went off to the boarding school, what else could I do? It wasn’t even that bad, what was worse was that it was an in-house school, which meant that mom could refuse me to come home during the breaks. I spent all of my middle school years completely separated from my family, except Anna who would call on occasion to ask how I was doing. That was how I found out that while I was away mom pretended that she only had two children. One who had died in an unfortunate accident, and Anna."

"What the _fuck_?" Dean almost roared and sat up, looking fierce. Castiel spared a moment to smile about how angry Dean was about this when he himself had been so horribly mistreated. "That’s fucking insane."

"I know." Castiel carded a hand through Dean’s hair. "I started realizing that during those years and when I finally was allowed to come home only to find that my mom had remodeled my room, while Gabriel’s was kept as a shrine, I finally understood where I stood with my family."

"They should be arrested."

Castiel smiled. "It’s okay, I’m okay now."

"It’s _not_ okay." Dean protested heatedly but he went willingly when Castiel coaxed him to lie down again. "What the hell did you do?"

"I asked why I had even been taken out of the boarding school. Turned out that it was both because of money since that school was much more expensive than the state school and because Anna had demanded it. We didn’t have a close relationship, and we still don’t, but what we have is good and Anna has told me she missed me."

"So what happened, did your bitch mom make you sleep in the tool shed or what?"

That actually made Castiel chuckled and he wondered why he was surprised by that. Dean made everything so much easier just by goddamn existing, why not this?

"My dad told me I could sleep down in the guest room in the basement and I did. Alienated from my family, barely allowed to eat with them, alone in school since all my friends were back at the boarding school. Yes, I was truly miserable by the end of high school and my resentment towards my parents drove me away from both them and Pontiac as soon as I had graduated." He traced idle patterns on Dean’s back and Dean hummed softly.

"I studied hard, determined to live on my own. I got lucky and got an apprenticeship at Sandover while Joshua was still the CEO here in Chicago. Rose quickly, learned to be ruthless and which villains to trust and which not to." He smiled, proud of himself in a way he rarely let himself be. "I wasn’t the youngest CEO ever appointed but it came damn close."

"You’re a fucking marvel, you know that?"

Castiel looked down at Dean and saw nothing short of admiration in the young man’s green eyes.

"Dean." He mumbled and shifted so that they could lie face to face, sharing breaths. "I want you to know what a testament of my love for you this is." He swallowed when Dean looked a little surprised. "Besides Anna and my parents, you’re the only one I’ve told this."

"Not…" Dean flicked his gaze down once before boldly meeting Castiel’s eyes again. "Not even Balthazar?"

God, how could Castiel not smile at that?

"Not even Balthazar." He promised solemnly.

Dean nodded and shuffled closer to bump his nose against Castiel’s. "We should visit your parents this summer, let them see what a fucking loss it is for them not to have you in their lives anymore."

Castiel’s stomach knotted in discomfort even as his heart fluttered with love. "I’d like that. But only if you’ll stay by my side."

"Always, Cas."

  
  



	8. Finish

  
  


A whirlwind of a month later Castiel had never felt better. Dean was everything and more than Castiel had never known he had been looking for in a partner and he reveled in trying to better himself every day and to find new ways to please the younger man.

He supposed that this was what they called the honeymoon phase but that didn’t concern him. For once, instead of fretting about all the possible outcomes Castiel lived in the moment and embraced Dean wholeheartedly. His only regret was how much his job kept them apart and to be honest he had never really thought about it before but his job was kind of boring.

Sure, he liked some of the challenges and he liked succeeding them but he was wholly uninterested in the iron and bridge business as a whole. More and more he found his mind drawn to his villa and what Dean would think of it. Maybe the younger man would want to live there instead? He supposed commuting wouldn’t be the worst thing, going by I-94 it would barely take him 40 minutes by car.

He tapped his pen against the papers in front of him as he Googled public transportation and waited for his lunch to start. To hell with all the contracts he needed to review today, what were assistants for?

Besides, today he would get a special treat for his lunch and his concentration had been lacking all day because of it. Part of him couldn’t believe Dean had suggested it (although it had been more of a dare that he supposed the younger man had thought Castiel would back out of) and part of him was prepared to be disappointed.

But a _bigger_ part of him (consisting mostly of his dick and lizard brain) couldn’t wait a second longer. Dean always surprised him and he was delighted to discover that that trait carried over into the bedroom too.

Dean was adventurous and had so far liked everything they had tried together. _But_ (and as much as this baffled Castiel it was almost his favorite part), Dean was also very shy when it came to sexual activities. Ducking his head, blushing, hiding his face when he came. And honestly Castiel was surprised to find that it was a turn-on for him.

That Dean could manage to look so abashed while talking dirty was mind-numbingly hot to Castiel and that was the biggest reason to why he had agreed to Dean’s challenge for today. Oh, make no mistake, having sex in his office had always been kind of a kinky fantasy but one that he had yet to try (mostly because his former partners hadn’t really been worth the risk). To say that he wanted to do it with Dean was an understatement.

Actually, the more he thought about it (to hell with Googling too), the more he hoped Dean would show up exactly like they had planned because he was getting hard enough that it would be impossible for him to go out in public.

He leaned back in his chair and palmed his crotch. Damn, his semi was definitely too visible for his slacks to hide it and it felt so good to touch himself that pulling his hand away almost made him groan.

Looking at the time he saw that it was almost noon and he busied himself with locking his computer and putting the contracts in their folders for later review. At two minutes past twelve his intercom buzzed and Castiel’s erection had gone nowhere but up.

"Mr. Novak?"

Castiel forced himself to take a deep breath before he pushed the button to answer. "What is it, Hannah?"

"Dean is here to see you."

Thank fucking God.

"Send him in." He stood up but quickly bent down to press the button again. "Hold my calls until after lunch."

"Yes, Mr. Novak." Hannah chimed and Castiel really goddamn hoped she would go out to lunch today.

He knew she sometimes ate at her desk but even if she did Castiel wouldn’t let that deter him now. He was just glad that the walls facing into the building were solid and not glass walls like he saw in so many other offices. As long as the door remained closed they would have privacy and Castiel would see to it that it remained closed.

Dean came in a moment later, looking a little nervous but otherwise fine. He closed the door behind his back and before Castiel could even tell him to he had already locked it as well.

Castiel grinned. "Good boy." He rumbled and felt a wave of arousal go through him when Dean parted his lips on a soundless gasp.

"I, um, I walked here so… so I’m kinda sweaty."

Good, Castiel loved Dean’s scent and it was stronger when he was warm. He hummed in answer and went around his desk, beckoning Dean closer. The younger man shuffled up to him, his gait a bit stiff and it made Castiel grin again.

"You did very well." Castiel murmured and grabbed Dean’s face gently, holding him to keep him from closing the distance and kiss Castiel. With their lips barely brushing, Castiel looking into Dean’s already lust-blown eyes. "Did you prepare?"

Dean gulped. "I have the plug. In me." He gulped again and trembled in Castiel’s hands, body pressing closer. "I have the plug in me."

Castiel groaned approvingly and dove in to kiss Dean deeply, making the younger man moan and slot his whole body against Castiel’s. They grinded together for a moment and Castiel thanked his lucky star for buying that plug.

While he didn’t have a lot of toys he did have the basics (and who the hell _didn’t_ want to experiment with plugs after testing anal sex with dildos? Castiel loved it) and he had been thrilled when Dean had suggested he came to Castiel’s office with a plug so they could fuck during lunch. He had been even more thrilled when they had tested the plug the night before and the size was a perfect fit for Dean’s still very tight ass. He wanted Dean stretched but not uncomfortable and looking at him now, Castiel could only see arousal on the young man’s handsome face.

"Shit, Cas, I want you to fuck me and then I wanna wear the plug home again, keep all of you in me until you come home."

 _This_ , this was why Castiel had bought that plug all those years ago. Having his partner carry his come inside just left a kind of claim that appealed to his more primal side and Castiel was nothing if not honest when it came to sex.

"God, Dean. You’re so perfect for me."

Dean whined and squirmed against Castiel, smashing his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck and kissing him there. Castiel’s dick twitched and he rubbed it against Dean’s hip simply because he couldn’t not. Needed the friction and it almost felt too good. His boxer-briefs were almost chafing the sensitive head but that, too, somehow felt good.

Dean was in his office, aroused, wearing a butt plug, talking dirty, _and_ blushing about it.

Yeah, there was no way Castiel couldn’t be aroused right now.

Feeling wicked, he gripped Dean’s hair and pulled the younger man’s head out so they could kiss quickly before he steered Dean over to the big windows on his office’s western side. He turned Dean around so that Dean was facing the window and pressed himself against the young man’s back, fitting his hard dick snugly against Dean’s plump butt, grinding in slow circles as he put his hands on Dean’s chest, pinching his nipples through the shirt he wore.

Dean gasped and bucked back, his head resting back against Castiel’s shoulder. "Cas." He gasped and his hands trembled when he gripped Castiel’s lower arms.

"You sound so sweet." Castiel rumbled in a low tone, his mouth against Dean’s ear as he spoke. "Do you like the view?"

Dean moaned and turned his head, hiding his face against Castiel’s cheek. "What if someone sees?"

Castiel grinned and hoped Dean could feel just how much his dick jumped at the notion.

"Yes." He agreed, still in the same tone of voice. "If someone stood in that tall building opposite us and happened to look at this window right at this moment, then what do you think they would see?"

Dean mewled and pressed his face closer but he was humping back against Castiel’s increasingly desperate dick.

"I look weird."

Castiel splayed out his big hands on Dean’s chest, pressing the young man back against him.

"I suppose they would have to use binoculars to see anything at all." He mumbled as if he hadn’t heard Dean. "But what if the window cleaning team rolled up to my window right now?" Dean gasped innocently and Castiel gripped Dean’s chin to tilt his head up for a possessive kiss. "They would see my good boy." Castiel growled against Dean’s trembling lips and Dean moaned. "But that’s not going to happen because you’re mine, Dean. Only I get to see you like this, right?"

Dean turned around in his arms and gripped Castiel tightly to kiss back as good as he got. Their erections grinded together when Dean rutted against him and Castiel moaned into the kiss, massaging Dean’s butt cheeks in his hands.

"Fuck yeah, Cas." Dean moaned. "Only yours, wanna be good for you. Want everyone to see how good I am. Fuck me in front of the window, please Cas. Need you in me before I fucking blow."

"Perfect." Castiel murmured affectionately and licked Dean’s lips once more before stepping away and retrieving his chair. "You’re perfect."

"You gotta stop saying that." Dean muttered nervously even as he whipped off his jeans and underwear together with his leather jacket. "Ain’t nothing perfect about me."

"That’s strike one, Dean." Castiel said sternly as he sat down in his chair and opened his belt to unbutton his slacks. "Three strikes and I won’t be fucking you for a month. Don’t talk that way about yourself."

Dean looked contrite enough to make a Catholic priest proud and when Castiel had pulled out his dick through the Y in his boxer-briefs, he went to straddle Castiel to kiss him apologetically. Castiel smirked inwardly (as if he would be able to not fuck Dean for that long, especially considering how seductive Dean could be without even trying) and put his hands on Dean’s ass, tapping the plug.

Dean gasped into the kiss. "‘M sorry."

"I know you are." Castiel praised in a rumble. "You’re so good for me Dean." Unable not to, he grabbed both their dicks in his hand and pumped them slowly. To his pleasure Dean threw his head back and groaned so deeply Castiel imagined he could see the younger man’s throat vibrate. "You should face the other way." He murmured in a breathless tone. "Really give the world a show."

"Fuck yeah."

Dean scrambled to his feet and goddamnit if him looking uncertainly over his shoulder before lowering himself in Castiel’s lap wasn’t the most adorable thing ever. Castiel grinned and gripped Dean’s hips to stop him and with one hand on the small of Dean’s back he had made the younger man bend forward.

"Just gotta get the plug, sweetie." Castiel murmured and he heard Dean gulping again. Castiel took a moment to trace Dean’s swollen rim, though, just because he couldn’t resist and God, it was beautiful.

A long whine escaped Dean when Castiel worked the plug out and he grinned to himself when he saw Dean smacking a hand over his mouth to keep any more noises from escaping. He _loved_ all of Dean’s sounds (God, even when Dean was shouting angrily at _Call of Duty_ he sounded hot) but they had discussed the necessity of being quiet when they were deciding on this get-together and it warmed Castiel’s heart that Dean remembered.

His walls were thick but probably not thick enough to keep screams inside. But holy hell, he would like to make Dean scream…

He discarded the plug on the floor for now and bent forward to inspect Dean’s hole, making sure that it was stretched and lubed enough but also that wearing the plug hadn’t hurt the younger man. It looked wonderful, just like everything about Dean, and he kissed Dean’s left cheek once before pulling back and placing his hands back on Dean’s hips to help guide him.

Dean sat back, his hands on the chair’s armrests bracing most of his weight as he sank down on Castiel’s hard dick. The heat and pressure that enveloped him made Castiel groan and Dean wriggled his butt to get all of Castiel inside before he leaned back with a content sigh.

"You feel so fucking good in there, Cas." He mumbled and Castiel kissed Dean’s jaw.

"The only regret I have is that I didn’t get to see you open yourself up." Castiel adored seeing that. Dean was so erotic, blushing like a virgin every time he fucked himself on his fingers.

"I like it when you do it more." Dean countered in a husky voice. He rocked in his seat a little and Castiel took the hint to start moving as best he could with Dean spread out in his lap like this.

"Yeah?" he asked, hands forcing Dean’s legs further apart so that the younger man could hook them over Castiel’s knees.

"Yeah." Dean breathed, one hand gripping Castiel’s shirt and the other the armrest. "Sometimes I watch you handle the PS4 controller and I get hard."

Castiel groaned, feeling his dick jump inside Dean as he slowly grinded up into the younger man. He gripped the insides of Dean’s thighs, thumbs grazing Dean’s taut balls.

"Shit, Dean."

"I used to masturbate thinking about your fingers." Dean whole face was red from blushing and Castiel felt the heat like a living thing, wrapping around him and spiking his own heat.

They rolled faster against one another, Dean’s breath hiccupping every time Castiel hit his prostate especially good and Castiel gripped Dean’s hard dick in his right hand, stroking him languidly.

"And now?"

"Now I think about this." Dean groaned. He arched his back when Castiel squeezed his dick and started stroking faster. "Fuck, I should’ve had a condom."

Castiel grinned and nibbled on Dean’s earlobe. "I kind of want you to shoot all over the window."

"Fuck that would be hot." Dean groaned. He bucked back harder and Castiel could feel his own orgasm sneaking up on him.

Dean’s inner walls were clenching around him and when he reached up to pinch Dean’s nipple again the younger man bucked down so hard that Castiel almost came from that alone. He was stroking Dean fast now and Dean was doing most of the fucking, using the chair as leverage as he rutted his ass back against Castiel’s dick.

"Do it, Dean." Castiel gasped. "Spray the window."

"I—fuck yeah—too far away…" Dean gasped even as his body trembled in that way it did when he was about to come.

With a wicked grin Castiel used one foot to roll them all the way up to the window.

"How about now?" he rumbled and angled them so he could press the head of Dean’s dick against the glass.

Whether it was the coldness, the sensation of the smooth material, or simply the indecency of it Castiel never knew but Dean cried out and came with a big splurt. Surprised, Castiel jerked back half an inch and Dean whined when another wave of come shot out of him, his inner walls rippling around Castiel’s dick to the point where he could barely breathe for how good it felt.

"Dean." He gasped and grabbed the younger man’s hips hard so that he could fuck up fast and dirty.

Dean whined and sagged back against Castiel but that was okay, Castiel only needed a handful of thrusts before he was biting down on Dean’s shoulder and coming hard inside the young man.

They sat together for a moment after, both panting hard and sweaty. Castiel absolutely loved the way it felt to be lodged deep inside Dean while his dick was slowly going soft but he was also aware that the position they were in might not be the most comfortable for Dean.

"So," Dean started after a moment. "Sex in the office, check."

Castiel’s laugh started as a snort but it developed into a full-blown laugh, making his dick slide out of Dean and the young man almost bounce in his lap. Dean chuckled too and got up to get the plug but he stopped short.

"Bathroom?" Castiel asked with an amused glint in his eyes and Dean made a face, gently touching his butt hole where Castiel already could see some of his come slipping out.

"I’m _so_ glad my awesome CEO boyfriend has an executive bathroom in his office." Dean muttered, making Castiel laugh again. "I’m a bit bummed, though. I was serious about wanting to keep it inside."

Castiel stood up to kiss Dean on the forehead. "Next time."

Dean blushed prettily. "So you liked this?"

"I loved it."

Dean ducked his head, grinning. "Next time I’m gonna wear panties."

Castiel groaned and wrapped Dean in a tight embrace. "You have to watch that mouth of yours or I’m going to have to spend the afternoon with an awkward boner."

Dean licked playfully at Castiel’s throat and reached down with one hand to caress Castiel’s spent dick. "I think I’m gonna go home and use that imagery to jerk off."

"Seriously." Castiel muttered. "I have two meetings, one of which is with Zachariah, I don’t want to be aroused around that smarmy ass."

"And thinking about me will make you that way even if you have to look at him?" Dean squeezed his dick, making it twitch in his hand. "I’m flattered."

Castiel gripped Dean chin and bent in to capture his mouth in a sloppy kiss. "As long as I’m going to be on edge _anyway_ , I want you to go home and make yourself hard and _stay_ that way until I get home. If I’m going to be thinking about you then I want that to look forward to."

"Fuck yes." Dean hissed and kissed Castiel hard. "Gonna be a good boy for you."

And Castiel knew he would because Dean was frankly the best thing that had ever happened to him, despite how tumultuous their first few months together had been.

  


*********************

  


"Don’t forget we have another one of those things next week."

Castiel sipped his after work drink, wishing Dean was there too. "Of course I remember about that _thing_. I’ve been looking forward to that _thing_ for months now."

Balthazar made a highly unimpressed face. "I see Dean’s sass is starting to rub off on you."

"Don’t be absurd." Castiel grinned, making Balthazar roll his eyes. "I’ve always had sass."

"In your little toe perhaps." Balthazar muttered and then popped the olive from his Martini into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "Seriously, though, are you bringing Dean this time?"

Castiel looked out over the bar, seeing the client representative that they had invited out for drinks immersed in dancing with not one but two women. Satisfied that this deal would close smoothly he leaned back and thought back on how happy Dean had been to be invited to yet another fundraiser event.

"Am I bringing Dean to one of those extravagant dinner parties where we spend an exorbitant amount of money on the party just so that our guests will spend even more money for our cause? Yes, I will bring Dean."

"You don’t have to put it like that." Balthazar pouted (it wasn’t very attractive, not like when _Dean_ pouted during sex when, say, Castiel denied him his orgasm. Now _that_ , was attractive). "And those parties are a must in the world of fundraising."

Castiel highly doubted that but Balthazar was yet again in charge of this new fundraiser campaign (all Castiel would have to do was show up and take credit, which was fine by him) so Castiel supposed he should know.

"I just don’t see why we can’t take the party money and put that to our fund and then cajole the guests to spend their money anyway, because the cause is good enough."

Balthazar looked shell-shocked for a moment before he calmed down and sipped his Martini.

"You know, sometimes I forget that you weren’t born into money. Some people would turn snooty if they had been in your shoes."

Castiel snorted. "And those people would be fools."

Balthazar hummed and sipped some more of his Martini while Castiel nursed his Glengoyne, eyeing the client so nothing would happen to him.

"How about Dean?"

"How about him what?"

Balthazar looked serious when Castiel met his eyes. "How’s he taking being rich now?"

Castiel blinked in confusion for a moment before he understood that Balthazar wanted to know if Dean was a gold digger or not. The thought made him grin wide enough to show his gums and Balthazar startled at the sight.

"He hasn’t understood half of it yet."

"Half of what it means?"

"Of how much money I actually have."

Balthazar laughed out loud, drawing surprised smiles from people around them.

"He’s gonna be so nervous at the dinner party."

Castiel smiled softly to himself, remembering Dean’s own words echoing Balthazar’s.

"Please be nice to him."

"Oh I will, don’t worry, Cassie." Balthazar grinned, looking genuinely happy. "I like him. Especially after that apology slash threat he delivered when we met for the second time."

Castiel chuckled when he recalled that meeting. Dean feeling a need to apologize for how he had come off at the Christmas party and for how he had kind of hated Balthazar without knowing him, but also Dean gripping Balthazar’s hand a little too tightly and leaning in to hiss that Castiel was _his_ now and that Balthazar did well to remember. What a sight.

"He felt bad after." Castiel nodded down at Balthazar’s right hand, making his friend look down at it. "For squeezing your hand so tightly but he refused to let me ask if you were hurt because he would be embarrassed."

Balthazar smiled and flexed his hand. "He’s gonna be a big one, that kid."

Castiel’s stomach knotted for a second when he thought that Balthazar would bring up Dean’s obviously young age but he knew he could trust his friend and besides, Balthazar didn’t even know Dean’s true age.

"I know, I can’t wait to see it."

Dean was quickly filling out now, muscles bulging and limbs stretching. Castiel smiled to himself when he thought of how handsome Dean was going to be all grown up. Already now he was stunning but a few more pounds of muscle on him and Castiel would have to put a ring on his finger to claim him for all to see. The realization made his eyes widen and when he looked up to meet Balthazar’s questioning expression he could feel his heart fluttering almost ridiculously.

"What? Did you remember something you’d forgotten to do?"

"I just realized I want to marry Dean."

Balthazar scrunched up his face. "Really? Marriage is so conventional, Cassie."

"I want to have children with him."

"Now hold on—"

"I’ve never been this happy, Balth."

Balthazar’s eyes softened and a small smile played on his lips. "I know. I’m happy for you too." He took one of Castiel’s hands in his. "I just have one thing to say."

Castiel leaned in when Balthazar did. "What?"

"Prenup."

Castiel slapped his friend’s hand away and leaned back with a laugh, feeling relieved for some reason.

"Shut up." He grinned when Balthazar started chanting _prenup, prenup, prenup_. God, he had never thought he could or would feel like this for another person and he was so incredibly glad that he had dropped that goddamn wallet all those months ago.

  


**********************

  


When Castiel eventually got home that evening he immediately heard sounds coming from Dean’s old room (nowadays affectionately dubbed "gaming room"). He walked over while loosening his tie and realized that Dean was most probably talking to Sam over Skype while playing _Black Ops_ on the PS4.

Sam’s voice sounded tinny coming out of Dean’s laptop’s speakers and Castiel paused just before announcing himself when he heard his name being mentioned.

"I just can’t believe you’re fucking Cas."

Castiel smiled to himself when he remembered how telling Sam had gone. It had been casual and in the line to one of the lunch restaurants at the office.

  


_"Hey, Sam. Remember when you asked me if there was something between me and Dean? And I said there wasn’t."_

_"I remember."_

_"Well now there is. I’ve been in love with him for a while and it turned out he’s in love with me as well. I would be comfortable with referring to him as my boyfriend from now on and I thought you should know as I consider you a close personal friend of both myself and Dean."_

  


In retrospect maybe choosing that time and place to tell his friend about his new boyfriend hadn’t been the smartest, considering that a few other people had heard as well and also because Sam nearly fell on his ass. It had been kind of fun, though, and Dean had gotten a laugh out of it as well.

"Still?" Dean asked calmly and then grunted unhappily when a bomb went off in the game.

"I just… I mean, I’m happy for you." Sam sounded happy indeed. "Just baffled. It’s _Mr. Novak_."

"Hey." Dean admonished. Castiel leaned against the wall bedside the door. "You’re his friend, you call him Cas too."

"I do, I do." Sam chuckled. "And he _is_ my friend, I like hanging out with him a lot but to me he’s also Mr. Novak, CEO. And I don’t mean that I’m scared of him because he’s my boss but it’s just… well, shit Dean, do you even know how insanely powerful he is?"

"In your corporation, you mean?" Dean didn’t sound very impressed but Castiel smiled nonetheless.

"And other places. And Jesus, I’ve seen him in his boss-mode. That aura of ruthlessness and efficiency is kind of intimidating, don’t you think?"

"I think it’s _hot_."

Yes, Castiel definitely felt a wave of arousal at Dean’s tone.

"Gross, Dean."

"You asked."

"I know but you didn’t have to make a face." Castiel wanted to know what kind of face and anyhow thought it was rude of him to keep eavesdropping. "I guess what I’m trying to say is just that he seemed like the kind of person who was difficult to get close to. But I got to know him a little bit outside of the office and I saw that he was a nice person, just maybe lonely. I’m glad he’s got you now."

"Me too, I kinda wanna be with him forever. White picket fence and rugrats and all."

Castiel’s heart felt too big for his chest.

"So, who’s the girl?"

Dean _pfft_ ’ed. "We’re both _studs_."

"I know he is, but what are you?"

Castiel couldn’t help but grin up at the ceiling as he listened to Sam’s laughter and Dean’s boisterous protests.

  


************************

  


Dean looked exhausted by the time he and Castiel switched but Castiel was proud of how much Dean’s driving was improving. Even though there was barely any use for a car where they lived Castiel started considering what kind he would buy Dean as a gift when he finally took (and passed, Castiel was sure) his driver’s license test. He liked his Mercedes well enough but wanted Dean to have a car of his own, one that fit him. Dean had often expressed a love for classic cars so he supposed he would start looking there.

"You did well." He praised when they were buckled in and driving off again, AC blasting to help against the sweltering summer heat.

"Highways are nerve-wracking." Dean mumbled and pawed at Castiel’s thigh until Castiel let go of the wheel to take Dean’s hand in his. "But I like it. It’s freedom, driving."

Castiel nodded. "I agree. Hey," he squeezed Dean’s hand. "Why don’t you look at Google Maps and see if you can find any roadside hotels or motels coming up?"

Dean hummed and dug out his phone.

They were driving to Lawrence, Kansas, via I-80 to avoid having to go by Pontiac because Castiel very much wanted to avoid his parents for as long as he could. And besides, they were visiting Lawrence to visit Dean’s parents’ graves (and Mrs. Mosely as well, of course) and it felt more important than going to his parents to get ignored for an hour or two.

Castiel was rather looking forward to this road trip and they had decided that even though the trip to Lawrence from Chicago was only about 8 hours, give or take, they would stop along the way and just goddamn breathe each other in. Or, as Dean had put it, _"experience the fucking countryside like a couple of badasses"_. One thing was sure, though, and that was that they were stopping in Des Moines to go to the Blank Park Zoo because Dean had Googled it and almost died when he saw that they had kangaroos there. Also, hotel sex because of course.

"Fuck yes, there’s a Western themed motel coming up in like 30 miles. If they have a gift shop I’m buying you a cowboy hat."

Castiel laughed out loud. "Me in a cowboy hat, why—?"

He stopped dead at the hungry stare in Dean’s eyes. "You’re fucking me in a cowboy hat tonight, Cas."

Castiel shuddered pleasantly and suddenly felt pretty certain that no matter how much grief or anger this trip could come with there was nothing that cowboy sex with Dean couldn’t fix. Actually, looking at Dean’s handsome face, Castiel felt as if nothing could ever go wrong as long as he had Dean by his side.

Smirking to himself he shifted lanes, making Dean frown at the outside world.

"Bathroom break already?" Dean asked and then grinned. "I knew you were old but I didn’t know you were that old."

Castiel snorted as he spied for somewhere, anywhere to stop that wasn’t in the middle of the highway.

"I was going to reward you for the great cowboy idea but now I’m starting to think that I should punish your impudent mouth instead. So which will it be?" he raised an eyebrow at Dean’s slack-jawed surprise. "Are you going to be a good boy or a bad boy?"

Dean positively _squirmed_ in his seat and goddamnit it, yes, there was some kind of roadside diner. He supposed their restroom would have to do, if he wouldn’t outright fuck Dean’s mouth in the car.

"I’m your good boy." Dean half-mumbled, half-moaned and Castiel smirked when the younger man pawed at his thigh again.

"Yes you are, Dean." He took Dean’s left hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the simple gold ring he had placed there the week before. "You are _my_ good boy and _only_ mine."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, so this is the official ending of the fic :D I’ll be posting a very short timestamp chapter within the next few days but other than that we’re done with this journey, thank you for tagging along! <3


	9. Timestamps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, I witched POV here, for no apparent reason lol  
> And I hope you’ll like this, my favorite is the middle part :)   
> Much love to you all, words cannot describe how much it means to me that you chose to read this! Until next time <3<3<3

  
  


"Daniel, you have to stop squirming so I can take off your shoes." Dean tried his hardest to use his sternest face and his little son just looked at him with watery eyes. Damnit, for a boy of only four Daniel was already incredibly proficient in making Dean’s heart melt with a single look. "Don’t give me that, you don’t want papa to get mad at you for ruining his nice hardwood floor with your dirty shoes, do you?"

Daniel’s lower lip trembled but Dean _knew_ it was an act. They had adopted Daniel when the tyke was only two years old but despite his young age Daniel had quickly figured out that Dean was a sucker for trembling bottom lips.

Thankfully enough he stood still long enough for Dean to slip off his small sandals and of course Cas chose that moment to appear in the hall.

"Did I hear someone using me as threat again?"

"Papa!" Daniel screamed happily and pushed his way out of Dean’s arms to run over to Cas.

Dean watched with a fond smile how Cas swooped up the boy in a big embrace, laughing like the perfect picture of a proud father. Goddamnit, it was at moments like these that Dean couldn’t believe his luck or his life.

Ten years of living with and loving Cas had brought Dean nothing but happiness and when Cas five years ago quit his job as CEO, sold his apartment and villa, and used the money from that and the severance package Sandover had given him to move them across the lake to Long Beach Dean nearly died. Seriously.

Together they started a bookstore because Cas had admitted that ever since his sister had opened a flower shop of her own he had kind of wanted a store to call his too and Dean was game for anything as long as they could do it together.

They lived in a small house by the beach and had by now hired enough people to help out in the store that they didn’t need to spend all their time there. And honestly, when Cas had admitted in a hushed tone that he would like to have kids together with Dean, Dean’s heart had just about stopped.

It took the adoption agency two years to get them approved but on the whole Dean thought that that had been pretty fast. And when he saw Daniel at the orphanage he had known instantly that he was their baby boy.

"Why are you sitting down on the floor?" Cas asked with an amused smile while Daniel played with the collar of his shirt.

"I think I was stunned by how good you look with a kid on your hip."

Cas scrunched up his nose and Dean laughed at him, getting to his feet. "I think the lasagna I made for dinner is cheesy enough without your help, Dean."

"God I’ve missed your humor."

Cas laughed. "You were only at the beach for two hours."

Dean couldn’t resist carding a hand through Cas’ hair before he bent in to kiss the man softly. "Can’t a guy miss his husband, huh?"

Cas opened his mouth to answer but they were interrupted by Daniel making smacking noises.

"Kissy faces." He giggled at him. "Daddy kissy face."

"Imma kissy face you." Dean play-growled and went in to kiss his son on his cheek but Daniel ducked and pressed his face against Cas’ neck.

"No, papa save me!"

"Don’t you worry, son." Cas said calmly and swooped out of Dean’s reach. "Papa will save you from daddy’s snuffling."

"Snuffle." Daniel poked out his tongue at Dean over Cas’ shoulder but then immediately shrieked in Cas’ ear when Dean jumped at them.

"Faster papa, you too slow!"

"Yeah, old man." Dean taunted as he plucked the wriggling boy from Cas’ arms. "You’re not keeping up with us cool kids."

Daniel laughed at Cas’ mock-hurt face and Dean grinned at the both of them.

"You know," Cas started, his tone suddenly much lower and Dean perked up even as Daniel _eep_ ’ed and hid against Dean’s neck this time. "You’re not being a very good boy, Dean. I might have to punish you for that later."

Dean gulped and thought that it was funny how ten years together with Cas hadn’t made his love or his attraction to the man diminish the least. Fucked up pasts be damned, Cas’ insane family be damned (his parents hadn’t even attended their wedding), work, mundane everyday chores, parenting, nothing could make Dean forget about how he felt for this man. On the contrary it only seemed to enhance their attraction for one another.

"I’ll hold you to that, Cas." He answered in a rasp and Cas smirked at him before going into the kitchen again.

"Daddy okay?" Daniel whispered and Dean smiled down at the wonderful boy in his arms.

"Daddy fucking fantastic."

Daniel smiled widely and Cas’ admonishing _"Swear jar, Dean!"_ just made the moment even better.

  
  


### 

  
  


Feeding Kim was utterly impossible. Dean tried to remember if Daniel had been this weird when he had been two years old but couldn’t honestly remember a single moment while feeding when more food went outside the boy’s mouth than inside. It was as if Kim _liked_ the feeling of mashed potatoes dribbling down her chin.

"Come on, baby girl." Dean sighed. "Your tummy have to be empty, right?"

"No!" Kim stated happily but Dean doubted she knew what she was answering.

Across the table Cas grinned at him where he sat beside Daniel, helping the boy with his homework. If Dean was completely honest he thought that the school was giving the kids entirely too much homework. They were only seven for Christ’s sake. Cas had made him promise not to say that, though, because he believed it wouldn’t be motivating for Daniel to hear his dad hate on homework.

Sometimes when the kid was sitting up in his room, pouring over his books, Dean snuck up and gave him candy. It was their secret because papa could be strict when it came to candy on weekdays but shit, the kid deserved _something_. Dean was so proud over both of his children (of his whole family, honestly) and he wasted no time telling them. Would be even more proud if Kim actually ate something, though…

"Maybe you should give her bananas instead?"

"I can’t give her bananas for every meal, Cas." Dean sighed and watched as Kim swallowed her next spoonful dutifully. Great, that made it two out of five, now they were getting somewhere.

"Papa?"

Cas immediately turned to Daniel. "What is it, Dan? Oh, this question is similar to the first."

"No I know…" Daniel was looking down at his homework and even though his pensive stare made Dean frown in confusion he still couldn’t help feeling proud at how smart Daniel was. He was sure that was all Cas’ doing, even if Cas insisted that Dean was a big part of it too.

Cas was a fucking genius, though. In just the five short years since they had adopted Daniel Cas had managed to turn their little bookshop into an almost self-sustainable franchise. He lamented the loss of his cozy little store, though, but Dean always reminded him of all the new jobs he had created and also of all the sweet money. Not that they had been in much need of it but still, it was nice to have it. It was also crazy nice to be bragging about his smart husband to the housewives along the beach.

Plus, and this was the _best_ part, Sam had even moved to Michigan City together with his fiancée Jess to work for Cas as the head of his IT-department. Now they met up with Sam and Jess at least once a week for dinner and Dean loved having his friend so close by again.

"Then what is it?" Cas rubbed the boy’s back. "You look upset."

Daniel shrugged. "I’m not upset. I’m… confused." He sighed and looked up and Dean and Cas. "Some guys in school asked me about you two. I mean, they weren’t mean but… is what we have not normal?"

Dean felt his stomach drop a little. If there were some kids picking on his son he would fucking _ruin_ them. Kim and Daniel were his babies, sure he hadn’t carried them himself and he hadn’t held either of them as an infant but they were _his_ and if _anyone_ —

"Dean." He looked up to see Cas looking at him with an amused smile, while both Daniel and Kim stared at him with big eyes. "We can feel your anger all the way across the table, reel it in."

"Sorry." He gritted. "I just don’t want…" he took a deep breath. "You know you can tell us if there’s something wrong, right Dan?"

Daniel nodded and looked up at Cas. "They weren’t mean." He repeated and Cas nodded, always the calm one.

"I believe you." He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. "And to answer your question, no our family doesn’t follow the norm. But that doesn’t mean it’s not normal. The norm is something society decides and it usually says that a family should consist of a mom and a dad, they should both work for a living, and their kids shouldn’t be adopted. _However_ ," he smiled down at Daniel and Dean’s heart just about fucking melted. "There are a lot of families that don’t look like that. And when I say a lot I mean most of them. There is nothing wrong at all with being adopted and having same sex parents but you should know that some people will tell you that it is."

"But those people are wrong?" Daniel asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

"Those people are fucking assholes." Dean seethed and Cas held up a hand to stop him, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Do you like our family, Dan? Do you like me and dad even though we aren’t your ‘real’ parents? Do you like your sister?"

Daniel looked full of righteous fury and he got that from Dean right there.

"I love you."

Cas smiled his proudest smile and fuck it all if Dean didn’t feel a little choked up all of a goddamn sudden. Luckily Kim distracted him by choosing that moment to paw at his hand, her mouth open and ready to receive more food.

"Then those people are dead wrong. Remember that."

Daniel looked over at Dean and Dean tried to pretend he didn’t see and was busy feeding Kim because he was sure he would start bawling like a fucking chick if he met his son’s intense stare (that stare was definitely something he had picked up from Cas, Dean was sure).

"Okay, cool."

Very cool indeed.

  
  


### 

  
  


"I can’t believe we dropped our son off at college today." Dean murmured where he lay spooned in Cas’ strong arms, feeling the older man’s breath against his neck. "And _Yale_ , I’m so fucking proud."

"I can’t believe you cried." Cas murmured against Dean’s ear. "He was completely embarrassed."

"He’s my baby boy!" Dean protested and Cas chuckled.

"I know, I’m glad we drove so we could get some extra time with him." He nuzzled Dean’s ear for a moment. "And this road trip is nice, we’ll have to take Kim out for one too when we have the time."

Dean shifted on the bed, the hotel was nice but the sheets felt starchy like they usually did in hotel beds. Still, he was happy they had driven so that they could take this time to relax. Also, fuck airplanes.

"We have to make it up to Sam and Jess, too. It was nice of them to let Kim stay with them." As if that wouldn’t have happened, by now Sam and Jess were more like family than Cas’ actual family.

Hell, even Balthazar had become more like family since he quit Sandover and came to work for Cas alongside Sam. Sure, he was kind of like the weird uncle but still, apart from Anna (who the kids mostly saw as a distant aunt that sent them money on their birthdays), there wasn’t much more to their little family aside from a few friends. Dean wouldn’t trade it for the world, though.

"I just hope Kim is having a good time without us."

Cas kissed the patch of skin just under Dean’s neck, sending goosebumps down his side.

"She’s almost fourteen, she doesn’t want to play with her dads anymore." As if Dean didn’t already know that. "Plus, considering that Jake will be there too I don’t think there is going to be much trouble."

Dean grinned when he thought about how Kim looked and Sam and Jess’ son Jake and how the little thirteen-year-old boy looked when he saw her looking at him like that.

"We’re gonna have our hands full soon."

"Don’t worry, I’m going to buy a sawed off shotgun and put it by the front door. Just in case."

Dean laughed out loud and turned his head to steal a crooked kiss from Cas.

"You know," he all but purred and Cas raised an eyebrow at him. "We’re alone and in a hotel room."

Cas grinned and rolled them around so that he was looming over Dean and fucking yes. Cas might be on his way to getting old for real now, his hair and beard sprinkled with grey and Dean had been both physically stronger and larger than him for quite some time, but he was still hot as sin.

"What are you implying?"

"Would you fuck me?" over the years they had switched it up but Dean honestly loved it the best when he was on the receiving end of Cas’ glorious dick.

Cas smacked his lips in mock contemplation. "Would I fuck you? Would _I_ fuck _you_?"

Dean smacked him on the arm. "Don’t be an ass."

Cas immediately swooped down and put his mouth to Dean’s ear, breathing hotly enough for Dean’s dick to twitch alive almost painfully fast.

"I would fuck my good boy but good boys don’t call me an ass. So tell me, Dean, _would_ I fuck you?"

Dean’s mind felt like mush. He had never known where the pleasurably satisfied feeling he got from being called good boy by Cas came from and he frankly didn’t care. It felt good and he knew Cas liked it too and that was all that mattered to him.

"Please fuck me, Cas." He moaned prettily. "Wanna feel you the whole car ride home."

Cas nipped at his ear. "That’s better." He murmured lovingly.

And Dean could do nothing but agree as Cas went on to prove (all night long) just how fucking good it really was.

  
  



End file.
